A blog of thoughts and memories. Thoughts are to be shared. Memories are to be kept. Thoughts and memories, both of them are meant to be treasured. Let's appreciate them.
i know what's right and what's wrong. i am cheerful and out going. it's hard for me to find the one that i want, but once i find the right person, i won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.
"Do what you love and you'll be good at it. Sounds simple enough. But what if you love reading comics, playing video games and watching korean dramas until your eyes pop out? Is it possible to make a career out of such things? What's the alternative? Spend all your time wishing you were brave enough to take that leap? Don't let fear stop you from doing what you love. Because ultimately, it's about being true to yourself."
A story about me -
Dealing with a thing called love -
I rejoice myself with love -
And I hurt myself for love -
These are unconsciously be done -
Without my conscious control -
God brought me into this world -
Without a bad reason -
Making me a humble man -
Prostrated by other creatures -
His gifts makes me looks special -
Among the others -
But somehow I tend to act arrogantly -
By forgetting who the real me is -
People used to say -
Love is pure -
Love is sincere -
Love is wonderful -
And love is happiness -
But I would rather say -
Love is painful -
Love is deceitful -
Love is dreadful -
Or even worse -
Love is hopeless -
For love always returns sad memories -
Rather than good ones -
If that so -
What God created love for -
Is it for human's pleasure -
Or wanting us to seek for His blessings -
Right now - under this deep pressure -
My heart is forced -
To love things that I dislike -
To accept things that I cannot bear with -
To admit things that I deny -
And to leave things that I'm hardly to let go -
Seeking for forgiveness -
It's all I can do -
To tell how guilty I am towards you -
Trust me - I'll cover it for you so soon -
Until the day comes - for me to say -
I apologize to you -
This is a lonely heart talking -
To anyone - who might never hear it -
All I hope for is God's Mercy -
So that I could mollify this broken heart -
p/s: This poem came out directly from my heart without I planned to create it. I also don't know what are the messages that I'm trying to reveal in this poetry. What ever it is, this clearly reflects the state of my heart for the time being.
Senarai nama rumah-rumah yang akan diziarahi. Zimah Zaiwani, rumah terakhir pada ziarah yang pertama.
Bakal pemimpin-pemimpin Islam, yang bakal mengunuskan pedang, menegakkan kalimah laa ilaha illallah. Amin.
Semua ceria bergambar di studio terbuka kami ;)
Puteri-puteri Islam, merangkap tulang belakang perjuangan Islam.
Bergambar sekalian dengan tuan-tuan rumah di studio terbuka. He he he.
Terima kasih yang tidak terhingga diucapkan kepada mereka yang telah menjayakan
program Ziarah Raya g-13 2011 ini, antaranya:
pihak penganjur (Ridwan dan Nyla), pemandu-pemandu kereta yang berhemah,
tuan-tuan rumah yang telah menjamu kami dengan hidangan yang mengasyikkan, photographer dan photo designer kami yang sangat kreatif
dan tidak dilupakan juga kepada mereka yang turut hadir,
demi memeriahkan perjalanan ziarah raya kita kali ini.
Terima kasih juga sebab sudi berkunjung ke teratak Zaiwani yang
serba sederhana ini.
Sungguh kehadiran anda ke istana kami ini memberi mengundang keberkatan dan kebahagiaan kami sekeluarga. Insya-Allah.
Semoga Allah merahmati kita semua.
Jumpa lagi pada masa yang telah ditetapkan Allah kelak.
Special quotes for my best friend in conjunction with her engagement:
Love means sacrifice.
Although it might hurt you, but still you will be happy as long as you see people
whom you love are happy.
Love needs no force.
You don't force yourself to love people.
It comes naturally without you plan.
Love is sincerity.
Produced by a pure heart.
Wanting to please others even soon you'll die for them.
\Even though love cannot be everything, but it can be something.
Something special, if you treasure it
along with the blessing of God.
~by Zimah Zaiwani, with ♥
A short note just for you, my best friend forever:
Dear friend,
You don't know how much precious you are in my life. In this heart, your name fills most part of it. You build up my days every time I face all the challenges in life. I can say that you are my other half that completes me. I couldn't imagine what will my life be without you. To be honest, I was the happiest person in this world to know that you have found your own soul mate. I'm glad the man sent by God to you is someone who's really loving and always cares about you. Seriously, the first time I saw him, I immediately said to myself, "Yes, he's the one for you. He's the one who would make you happy when I'm not around to make you so." I'm grateful to God for created him to be your long-life partner (amin).
Dear friend,
On your special day, deep down inside, I cried, although you didn't see it or feel it. But please don't misunderstand me. I cried because I was happy to see you happy. At first, I thought that probably our life will change as soon as you've become one of the most important person in his life. However, God mollified me by giving me some intuition saying that, "If our friendship is based on the blessing of Him, insya-Allah it will last until we meet again in Jannah, although we might have little time to spend together after this."
So friend,
On this special moment, I hope it's not too late for me to congratulate you (again) for being engaged to a person who is special to you. Keep this love safely, treasure it and please appreciate it. I dare say that you're so lucky to have met him much earlier than me. It's okay for me to let you go this time. Because the only thing I want to do before I return to Him is that I just want to see you live happily ever after with your Prince Charming.
With lots of love from your old friend,
Zimah Zaiwani
Thank you for choosing me as your make-up artist ;)
I'm so proud of your effort making all these hantaran yourself
I pray to Allah may he's the right person whom you've been waiting for so long :')
4 September 2011, tepat jam 7.50 malam, seorang sahabatku berjaya berangkat ke Jordan. Syahidah namanya. Namun, malang sekali aku tak dapat pergi menghantarnya sebab aku buat rumah terbuka hari itu. Hanya Farrah yang ikut menghantarnya di KLIA. Hajat di hati memang nak sangat ikut serta. Teringin rasa nak menyaksikan sendiri pemergian sahabat tercinta ke negera perantauan. Dengan pelukan penuh kasih sayang disertai pula oleh air mata kegembiraan dan lambaian selamat tinggal. Tapi semua itu hanya tinggal hajat. Sebuah hajat yang tidak terpenuhi.
Tapi, aku tetap bersyukur sebab sekurang-kurangnya dapat juga bertemu dengannya sebelum dia bertolak. Dia dengan baik hatinya menziarahiku di rumah. Katanya ingin berjumpa denganku buat saat-saat akhir sebelum dia mula menjadi pengunjung baru di negara orang. Patutnya aku yang menziarahinya di rumah kerana aku sudah berjanji akan beraya di rumahnya. Tapi, masih lagi tidak berkesempatan memandangkan dia pun selalu sibuk mengemas-ngemas barang sebagai persiapan untuk ke sana.
Beberapa hari sebelum itu, Syidah ada mengirimkan SMS kepadaku, memberitahuku berita gembira ini, bahawa dia akan menyambung pengajiannya di peringkat ijazah sarjana muda di Jordan dalam jurusan Syariah, pengkhususan Fiqh dan Usul Fiqh. Semasa mendapat khabar itu, entah mengapa hatiku tiba-tiba tersentak. Dengan serta-merta perasaan di hati ini bercampur baur. Gembira, sedih, terkejut, tidak percaya, macam-macam. Tapi yang paling jelas, aku benar-benar terkejut dengan berita itu.
Sampailah Syidah beritahuku bahawa sebenarnya sudah lama dia menyimpan rahsia ini, itupun atas permintaan orang tuanya. Kursus Bahasa Arab yang dia pergi selama sebulan itupun ternyata sebagai persediaan dia untuk belajar di sana sebenarnya. Ya Allah, masa tu Allah saja yang tahu apa yang kurasa. Mulanya aku rasa Syidah seperti membelakangkanku. Sebab dia baru menyampaikan khabar itu kira-kira tiga atau empat hari sebelum dia terbang ke Jordan. Tidakkah mengejutkan namanya itu? Sedangkan aku sudah rancang untuk keluar outing dengannya. Semua sudah tersusun rapi, tinggal hanya ingin tentukan bila masa yang sesuai saja. Sebelum tu, aku ada request untuk dia sambung di UIA sebab UIA pun ada bidang tu. Tapi dia cakap tidak tahu lagi. Jadi, apa hak aku untuk memaksa. Rupa-rupanya Allah ada perancangan yang lebih untuk Syidah.
Oleh sebab aku masih terkejut mendapat khabar itu, jadi aku pun tidak dapat membalas mesej-mesej dia yang seterusnya. Sebab perasaan ku sudah bertukar kepada sedih. Sangat sedih sebenarnya sebab seorang lagi sahabat yang aku sayangi akan meninggalkan diri ini sendirian. Aku tahu pemergiannya ke Jordan bukan untuk bersantai-santai atau bersuka-ria tapi untuk menyambung perjuangannya sebagai seorang hamba yang begitu mencintai ilmu, tapi aku tetap berasa berat untuk melepaskannya pergi. Aku tahu Syidah bukan milikku.
Seperti orang lain, dia juga hanya pinjaman Allah kepadaku. Kalau bukan sekarang, akan ada satu saat yang Allah tetapkan kami berdua akan terpisah juga. Tapi pada masa itu, hatiku belum dapat merelakan. Aku gembira dengan kejayaannya, tapi kenapa mesti dia berjauhan denganku? Aku seperti berlawan dengan diriku sendiri.
Aku cakap pada emak, "Imah tak balasa mesj Syidah, emak."
"Lah, kenapa tak balas? Tak baik tau adik buat dia macam tu. As a friend, you should be happy for her. You're supposed to congratulate her," emak menasihati..
"Tapi Imah tak boleh terimalah, emak. Seorang-seroang yang Imah sayang pergi dari hidup Imah. Mula-mula Kak Uda, lepas tu Kak Nad (habis pengajian), lepas tu Farrah (bakal) dan sekarang Syidah pula. Nanti siapa yang nak temankan Imah? Kalau Imah ada masalah, Imah nak luahkan pada siapa?" Aku sudah menitiskan air mata. Tak mampu nak tahan sebak di hati.
"Adik, setiap pertemuan ada perpisahan. Doalah untuk kejayaan dia. Insya-Allah, kalau kamu berdua kawan baik, masing-masing akan saling mengingati," emak mengingatkan.
Emak betul, cuma aku saja yang masih belum boleh menerima kenyataan. Sepatutnya, sebagai sahabat aku perlu meraih kejayaan ini bersamanya. Aku seharusnya menjadi orang yang paling gembira kerana akhirnya dia sudah ingin sampai ke kemuncak kejayaan yang diimpikan sejak sekian lama. Aku tak sangka aku boleh pentingkan diri sendiri. Sanggup aku menyakiti hati sahabatku demi menjaga hatiku sendiri?
Bila kami bertemu di rumahku, kami pun berbual panjang. Kami gunakan masa yang ada untuk menikmati perbualan terakhir buat masa ini sebelum ayahnya datang menjemput selepas Asar.
"Syidah, sebenarnya masa anti mesej ana beritahu pasal ni, mula-mula ana marah. Sebab ana terfikir, kenapa anti sorokkan hal ni daripada ana. Lepas tu, ana jadi sedih sangat-sangat sebab tahu yang anti akan tinggalkan ana. Sebab tu ana tak boleh balas mesej-mesej anti. Ana takut ana teremosi." Aku berkata perlahan.
Syidah hanya tersenyum, mungkin dia pun mengerti perasaanku. Mana taknya, kami sudah bersahabat baik sejak darjah 6 lagi.
"Ana tahu. Sebenarnya masa ana dapat result tu, ana nak beritahu anti, tapi ayah ana suruh rahsiakan dulu sebab benda ni tak confirm lagi. Bila dah betul-betul confirm, baru ana boleh beritahu orang lain."
"Oh, tak apalah. Ana dah okey sekarang. Biasalah ana ni. Bila dapat tahu berita-berita macam ni, emo dulu. Lepas tu dah okey dah. He he."
Alhamdulillah Syidah mengerti. Dia memang sahabat terbaikku.
Esoknya, semasa aku sedang sibuk melayan sahabat-sahabat g-13 ku vertandang di rumah, Yui berbunyi tanda SMS masuk. Daripada Syidah.
Salam. Zimah, Farrah ikut hantar ana tahu. Dia call tadi.
Aku membalas SMSnya.
Okey. Dia dah beritahu ana pasal ni. Nanti sebelum fly, mesej ana tahu. Jangan lupa!
Syidah membalas,
Okey, sayang.
Aku pun teruskan melayan para tetamu yang hadir. Tak berapa lama selepas itu, mereka semua pulang ke rumah masing-masing.Tengah sibuk-sibuk mengemas, aku baru teringatkan Syidah. Aku lihat jam, ya Allah, sudah pukul 7.30 malam! Mesti Syidah mesej aku. Sebab aku tinggalkan Yuiku di dalam bilik. Aku capai Yui dan tengok pada skrin. Tak ada mesej masuk! Ya Allah, sekali lagi aku kecewa dengan Syidah. Dia janji dia akan SMSku. Tapi tidak. Sedihnya.
Aku cakap pada emak soal ini.
"Emak, Syidah tak mesej pun. Dia janji dia nak mesej Imah sebelum fly." Aku buat muka sedih yang amat.
"Adik kena faham, dia mesti sibuk. Kan ini kali pertama dia belajar dekat overseas. Janganlah fikir bukan-bukan." Emak berusaha memujukku.
Aku cuba memujuk hati dan bersangka baik pada Syidah. Mungkin emak benar. Dia tentu kalut-kalut semasa ingin bertolak. Maklumlah, memang ini kali pertama Syidah mengangkat kaki ke tempat orang. Mesti dia juga bimbang bagaimana kehidupan dia selepas ini. Sebab dia pun pernah memberitahuku bahawa dia belum bersedia sepenuhnya untuk belajar di luar negara. Sebab keputusan yang dia dapat terlalu mendadak.
Apa-apapun, saat ini aku masih belum dapat apa-apa khabar berita daripada Syidah. Dia masih belum menghubungiku walapun sudah tiga hari di Jordan. Tapi aku akan tetap sabar menunggu. Semoga Syidah berada dalam keadan yang baik-baik dan dilindungi oleh Allah sentiasa.
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir and Batin to all my readers!
Whew, I hope it is not too late for me to say these words to you. Please forgive me. I was kind of busy lately, you know, with all the raya preparations and stuffs. So, I was like, "Oh no! It's been a long time since I've updated my blog!" and I truly miss it.
So, how's everything? How's raya? Did you enjoy your raya? Honestly, I didn't really enjoy mine because my twin is not here with me. Duh! My one-year-older sister, okay? She's in Mecca right now, performing umrah with her husband and she'll be back by September, 8, insya-Allah. She's so lucky for performing umrah in such an early age, don't you think? And I totally envy her. But, never mine. The time will come soon and I will wait for it patiently. Lol.
Alright, please don't get me wrong. I'm not writing (tonight) about raya celebration or about my sister performing umrah, instead I just want to share with you some of my findings. Okay, see the title up there? Yup, definitely it's what I'm about to share with you here. Again, Cecelia Ahern. Who on earth doesn't familiar with that name. The most admirable author in many parts of the world. But, bear in mind that this post is not an autobiography too, okay? Lol.
Do you believe if I say, she was the first English author who had attracted me to start reading English novels? Previously, I hate to read any English materials (magazines, comics, newspapers, what ever you name it) because I hardly to understand what they are saying.
But in this case, it's different. The truth is, Cecelia is the only one who could make me touch and even read English books. Well, thanks to her. What do you say?
When I first looked at her third novel, which titled, "If You Could See Me Now" my first impression was, "Okay, I think this book could be interesting because the title is so unusual and this is my first time seeing an English novel being titled with a (quite) long statement or sentence, or I may say a phrase." Seriously, that had made me fall in love with the book. Then, right after I finished reading the novel, I decided to look for her other novels because I had created a new interest in me, which is to be closer to English language (seems English has been my favorite subject since primary school and I discovered that Cecelia uses simple English in her writing and this could help me a bit in enhancing my English language).
Then, I found her first published novel, "P.S. I Love You" which is also a best-seller book in the bookstore. However, to be frank, I didn't quite like the plot because I think the story is not written for someone at my age, who is still a bachelor. Duh! But Cecelia's novel is still wonderful and it is so much different from other English novels that I've read before and like her other novels, this novel also has been translated into many languages and be sold in many countries around the world. Wow!
Later, much much later, I became so obsessed with her writings. So, I determined to go to the same bookstore (Kinokuniya) to search for Cecelia's next novels. I found them all and I started collecting them on my bookshelves and reading them again and again. But, for the record, I read "If You Could See Me Now" for countless time because I found that the plot is just amazing. It tells you about Western culture who believes in the invisibles. Well, to me it s something new. So, I grabbed it.
Just now, after I finished my dinner, suddenly I felt like I wanted to watch Cecelia talking in front of camera. I want to see how a writer like her speaks in front of public. Because I still remember, there was someone who told me that people who are good on papers, they are not really good on cameras and vice versa. So, I decided to watch myself and to prove that not everything that the person says is always right.
So, I typed Cecelia Ahern in the Youtube search box then, I found this video. Let's watch it together. Cecelia is truly an incredible author and who would expect many film directors want to create a film based on her novels and first film had already been adapted successfully from her first novel, "P.S I Love You" and it has caught people's attention from most countries from all over the world.
In this video, she shares with us some of her recipe of becoming a successful author. Check it out!
It was amazing, wasn't it? Who could expect a young lady like her could produce as many as eight novels so far, and two of them have been chosen as the best-seller novels. O Allah, I wish I could have talent and passion like her.
You know, it's been my dream to become a successful author just like Cecelia Ahern.
One of her best quotes says:
"If you can believe that you can do something, then you can do it."
She's right, you know. If we really believe in our own ability, we will work hard for it. We will struggle til the end, just to make sure that we achieve our goal. I made this statement as my source of inspiration to continue writing my own novel and like her, I also want to make my dream comes true.
To conclude, Cecelia is not merely good in creating and writing stories based on her own imagination, instead she also knows how to please people (especially her readers) and touch their hearts with the plot that she developed in her mind. I really respect her in that sense because not everyone can do the same thing as she does. When she was asked in an interview about where did she get inspirations to write all the stories,
this was her answer:
"...from life. I absorb everything around me. All the people I've met and all the places I've been, all the stories I've heard, music, books, absolutely anything and everything inspires me. I find that I'm constantly day dreaming, constantly imagining and creating scenarios in my head. .."
She further said:
"...I can sit still for hours on end, staring at a wall, my body totally still but my mind going on the greatest adventures..."
I hope my first novel can achieve this level. I'm not really confident about it, yet it's not wrong to have faith n ourselves sometimes, don't you think?
"Being a writer is a natural thing because it is something that is not forced."
All you need to have is talent and passion. Don't forget hard work too. Without these three components, we could never be a successful author for the rest of our lives.
Let's stop now.
Hopefully, this would be very helpful to those who want to become an English (Malay also can) author someday. Come and join the club.
