en siyah #rindubersamadia

~Bismillah~

hari berganti hari

bulan berganti bulan
tahun berganti tahun... erkk....
tak sampai tahun lagi kot...
walau jarang bersua muka
tapi kami masih lagi bertemu
masing-masing sibuk bekerja
mencari nafkhah hidup
seiring dengan pengalaman yang
diharapkan mampu mematangkan diri
sekali-sekala bertemu dia
alhamdulillah
dia makin sihat
namun riak wajah keletihan
jelas terpampang di wajah manisnya
kuatnya dia bekerja
dia seorang yang sangat bertanggungjawab
dan amanah dalam bekerja
kelebihannya membuatkan dirinya begitu disayangi
oleh orang atasannya

setiap kali berbalas pesanan dengannya
minda pasti berputar ligat
mengenangkan saat-saat kami bersama
bershopping bersama...
bermake-up bersama...
berkayak bersama...
berbadminton bersama...
ber'motor' bersama...
berbaking bersama...
berroller-blade bersama...
banyak juga hal kami lakukan bersama
dan saat terkenangkan semua itulah
hati ini semakin rindu ingin bersamanya
tapi diri musykil apakah dia turut merasakan hal yang sama
entah dia baca entri ini entah tidak
namun
doa yang sentiasa mengirinya diharapkan
mampu menyampai pesanan rindu ini padanya

selamat malam sayangku
en siyah #

<3 p="">

en siyah #Bertabahlah sayang

~Bismillah~

beberapa hari lepas

diri mendapat khabar berita dari seorang sahabat

siapa lagi kalau bukan en siyah

sahabat yang sentiasa di ingatan

dia kemalangan 

luka di beberapa kawasan kulit

alhamdulillah cedera ringan

alhamdulillah nyawanya tak terbang melayang

seperti mana dia 'terbang' melayang

jatuh dari motosikalnya

diri bersyukur

dia masih ada di dunia ini

tapi waktu menerima khabar tak best tu

diri begitu ego 

yang mampu ditaip hanyalah kata-kata;

"sorry to hear that. may you get well soon."

tapi sebenarnya hati resah memikirkan keadaannya

hati sedih memikirkan kejadian2 buruk yang menimpanya

bila diri tiada bersamanya...

dia sering mengadu sakit pinggang

tapi dia masih mampu berjenaka di saat diri menemuinya

dia sering bersedih kerana kecederaan teruk pada kukunya

tapi dia masih mampu tersenyum di saat diri menatap wajahnya

kerana dia seorang en siyah

dan hanya ada seorang en siyah saja dalam dunia ini yang setabah itu

hanya dia

en siyah saya

p/s: bertabahlah sayang. semoga awak mampu untuk terus tersenyum. setiap hari saya rindukan senyuman awak. setiap hari, saya melihat semula gambar2 awak dalam album saya. sebab saya masih mencari-cari senyuman itu di sebalik wajah kusam awak akibat kemalangan ringan yang menimpa awak ni. Allah ada untuk bersama awak dan al-Quran ada untuk menghiburkan awak. jadi, teruslah bertabah ya....

:')

en siyah #Pengakuan

~Bismillah~

di sini, pada hari yang indah ini,

diri ingin membuat sebuah pengakuan

yang mungkin diri tak pernah buat sebelum ini

entahkan kerana keegoan diri yang kian memuncak

setelah diri tidak lagi bergelar pelajar

harapnya tidak

pengakuan ini sangat ringkas dan padat

insya-Allah bisa membuatkan pembaca sekalian mengerti

diri akui bahawa en siyah muhammad merupakan seorang muslimah yang baik

hatinya suci dan luhur bagaikan air sungai yang mengalir

bersihnya membuatkan hati berasa tenang tatkala memandangnya

jiwanya kental melayari bahtera kehidupan yang sentiasa dilanda ombak ujian

lembut hatinya bisa membuatkan hati sesiapa pun cair

merasakan keluhuran budi perkertinya

en siyah muhammad

beliau merupakan seorang sahabat

yang sanggup melakukan apa saja demi kebaikan dan kebahagiaan sahabat-sahabatnya

jika diri jatuh tersungkur, dialah yang akan membangunkan

jika diri lemah, dialah yang akan menguatkan

jika diri kesepian, dialah yang akan menemankan

diri sangat merinduinya

harapnya dia sihat wal'afiat

dan semoga kebahagiaan saja yang mengiringinya

en siyah

saya sayang awak

sampai bila2

Hadiah dia

seorang gadis yang manis orangnya
seorang gadis yang kenal asal usulnya
seorang gadis yang jelas untuk apa dia diciptakan
seorang gadis yang menjadi aset berharga untuk si ibu dan ayah

Kerana 19 November 
Kini aku bergelar insan
Bukan insan biasa di mata-mata manusia
Tapi insan yang bergelar Muslim
Yang membawa panji-panji Islam
Mengimarahkan dunia dengan kalimah 
La ilaha llallah!

seorang gadis yang tabah
menyembunyikan masalah di sebalik senyuman
dan masih bersungguh menggembirakan orangorang disekelilingnya

Kerana 19 November
Ku ingin lalui hidup 
Bukan dengan daun-daun kering kedukaan
tapi dengan bunga-bunga indah kebahagiaan
Bersama-sama insan 
Yang masih menyayangi dan mencintai
Diri yang masih kerdil ini

seorang gadis yang pandai menjaga maruah dirinya
menyenangkan hati orang tua
sering mahu menggembirakan hati sahabat semua
Pasti si ibu bahagia memiliki anak gadis yang cantik mempesona :)

satu demi satu kejayaan dikecapi
semoga Allah memberkati hidupmu

teruskan bersinar Wan Hazimah Wan Ibrahim!

p/s: Thank you, sayang :')

You're not alone, sayang... I'm here with you... :'(

~Bismillah~

i know how heavy the burden you're bearing now

i know how much hurt your heart is

i know how much you'been crying lately

i know how much you need a hug from someone

i know how much you want to smile, but you just can't

how do i know all these?

becoz once i was in your state

how heavy the test we had to go through

but sayang

whatever it is you must go through all the tests

with an open heart

with redha

you must live your life to the fullest

you must take this as a big challenge for your heart

it's so hard

i know

but with patience and du'a

you'll be able to do it

i have faith in you sayang

and you should have faith in yourself too

my dear cinderella

i love you so much

please know that in this world 

you still got many people

who love you with all their hearts

especially your mother

if it's so difficult to accept everything you've been through now

it's just easy to know and accept that 

you still have a mother 

who still loves you more than her life

please don't hurt yourself

hurting yourself that means

you hurt her too

my dear friend

be strong my dear!

one more thing, my dear

please know that you're not alone

you have me, your mom, your friends

and most important of all

you have HIM.

so please smile again

i kinda miss the smile that i used to get on your face

wipe off all the tears

and shine your way to the happiness

if you need hands

i'm always here staying by your side

please asmile again, o my beautiful cinderella...

i love you to the fullest lillah

:')

Need a friend

~Bismillah~

by looking from the perspective of a human being, an ordinary human being,

we need someone...

whom we can spend almost all of our free time with,

whom we can share a lot of things about us; what we like and what we dislike in our lives,

whom we can expect to keep our secrets from anyone who cannot be trusted,

whom we can create as many memories as possible; be it sweet memories or sour ones.

as an ordinary human being,

we need someone who...

can be with with us every time we feel like we need them to be by our side,
but especially during the time we need them the most, 
either online or even offline; 
we still can sense their presence even if they're not standing right in front of our eyes, 
we still can feel their breath exhaling right behind our neck.

We need someone who...

can hundred percently accept all the 'beauty' and the 'beast' sides of us,
never look for perfections whenever they are with us,
with them, we feel comfortable; 
with them we feel secure; 
and with them we hardly to feel lonely. 
it's like the word itself seems to be unexist whenever they are still in our circle.

Someone called friend, is the one who...

will hold our arms laughing with us and feeling the joy we're experiencing,
although the thing that made us laugh is the most stupidest thing to laugh about.

will mourn with us wiping our tears if it hardly to stop running down by itself, 
although we are most probably not in same boat.

they can easily feel the grieves we've been through deep down inside,

they can easily detect the sorrowness and disappointment that our heart is facing

they can easily bring us back to the light

just to make us shine again and never look back to the past grieves.

this someone called true friend, is rarely to be found nowadays.

when they are sad, they never want to share with us their sadness 
with an excuse that they don't want us to feel distracted by their problem.

when they're happy, we'll be the last person to receive the news regarding their happiness.

if they're feeling lonely, they're keep themselves hundreds of miles away from us,
even though we motion a single steps towards them.

A TRUE FRIEND

this type of friend...

I wish I could have one in the past...

I wish I'm having one in the present...

and I wish I would have one in the future...

but I'm not very sure...

is this type of friend really exist in this world?

if it truly does, I would not have been facing the 'thing' that I'm dealing with right now.

I feel so lonely... only God knows how lonely I am now...

to be one who's called 'true friend,' to me, is easy peasy...

but to find one, you have to walk or even run another hundreds of miles forward more.

In my case, only He knows everything.

Even if now, deep down inside I've been crying since quite some times ago for what has been happening around me lately, and keep calling out for help, but still not even a single person heard my 'silent voice,' come to me and offer their helps. So now, I'm left... helpless.

if this is truly what friend means, I'd rather have a kitty to be my companion.
although it can't talk, but at least it'll always be by my side to fill up 'the emptiness' that have been left for so long.'

Happy Birthday, sayang!

~Bismillah~

on your birthday

may you be happy always

but if you can't, at least

may your life will be cherished by all the 

happy and sweet moments you had, have or going to have

with your loved ones

on your birthday

may you be blessed by Allah

may your life be filled with only smiles and laughters

may you be strong always facing all the

challenges and hindrances in life

on this special day

may you be strong as you are now

may you appreciate your life and your being

in this world

on your birthday

i wish you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, sayang!

and may Allah bless our friendship

and may we be gathered again in Jannah

:')

Be open to advise, be open to accept

~Bismillah~

Not everything we do, we can please people.

Not everything we do, can be considered as the right thing to do.

Sometimes we cannot even see our actions. That's why we need some reflections and our reflections are our friends. Our close friends. Good friends sometimes can be our mirrors. They somehow can be our reflections. 

From them, we tend to see our flaws. 

From them, we are able to see our shortcomings. 

Good friends are when you do mistakes, they will correct you.

Good friends are when you do something wrong, they will immediately stop you and say, 

"No! This is wrong! You're not supposed to do this!"

Good friends are when you commit a certain sinful act, they will never leave you with it, instead they will take your hand quickly and pull you back up instantly so that you won't fall into the trap of syaitan.

Good friends are those who never ever forget to remind you about Allah, Islam and the Hereafter.

Good friends are meant to be people who are never bored and give up to give you their advice about this life and the 'treasures' in it.

Good friends can be those whom when you look at their face, you will feel nothing but peace and calmness and it will straight away bring you towards the remembrance of Allah in your heart. 

That's what good friends mean!

But seriously, nowadays, who would want to view the meaning of true friendship as this? 

None!

To most people today, good friends are those who always agree with you although what you say or do actually go against the shariah. Or maybe... to some people, they view true friends as those who always follow you wherever you go and accept everything you do even you are actually committing sins! Naudhubillah min dhalik. 

We don't want such friends to occupy our lifetime, do we? Nor we want to be such friend to our friends.

So, the solution is simple. It's even simpler than what we thought.

In order to have a good friend and in order to be one, all we need to do is just to,

"Be open to advise and be open to accept."

What do I mean by this?

I'm saying this because this is what I've been experienced in my life.

I have some friends who tend to do a lot of mistakes in their lives. Meaning to say, they somehow commit certain mistakes that we never or maybe rarely do in our lives. So, to face them, and due to my love to them and to our friendship, I'll be open to advise them. All my knowledge about things they are dealing with will be taken out from my memory box, to be shared with them. That's how I prove myself that I'm a worth person to be friend with. One way to show your true love to your friend is that by challenging yourself of how many of their mistakes that you can correct and how brave you are to correct them. Let me add up one more thing! How strong you are to pull their hand from falling into syaitan's trap.

I also have some friends who always remind me about good things and at the same time, who'd love to correct my mistakes. And in this case, I'll be the one who will be open to accept. I accept all sorts of advice and even criticisms about my wrongdoings. I have a friend who love to advise me about things regarding love and feeling and I also have a friend who love to criticise me on many things. But I never complain about them. If it's not because of their advice and criticisms, I will never get to improve myself to become a better person and most probably, I'll never get the chance to be myself! Truth to be told, their presence somehow has given a huge impact in my life and I feel that my existence is actually being noticed by other people for all this while! They never ignore me. They never let me drown with all the sins that I'm committing and most importantly, they never leave me facing all the problems I have in my life all by myself.

And this is what true friendship is all about!

True friendship is not about materials but it's rather about love and trust!

If we truly love our friends, we never hesitate to bring them closer to God.

If we truly believe in our friends, we never doubt to support them whenever they say, "I wanna change for good."  

To have and to maintain a true friendship, we should always "be open to advise and be open to accept."

Wallahua'lam.

Puzzle 43: Friend, all I need from you is to be appreciated

~Bismillah~

Since I was very small, I rarely make friends with people because I was a very shy and timid girl. No one can bear with my shyness and quietness. They found it very difficult to talk to me and to befriend me. I just knew it. That was me. Long before. I was very weak in socializing. Even at home, my only companions are my late Atuk and my Kak Uda. Only they know the ways to make me talk and laugh. No one except them could do it, including my mother. Strange, isn't it? But that's the real thing to be admitted here.

Until I entered the second half of my primary school, I met a few people that had turned me into someone else. Someone new. Our friendship has lasted until we got enrolled to the secondary level. We became closer and closer. We became good friends and we became best friends! The person is a she. She was always there when I needed her the most. We always overnight at each other's houses. Get to know with each other's family and tried to understand each other's hearts. I really miss the moment where we usually had our pillow talk before we went to bed. There were so many things, many issues that we talked about and one of it, I still can remember it until today. 

Alhamdulillah, with Allah's bless, our relationship has lasted until today. However, we had lost contact. Since she went to study abroad, I never got to see her again. Since her parents separated from each other, I've never heard any news or stories about her. I always received a private message from her saying that she truly misses me but she never mentioned anything about returning to Malaysia. I heard that she's already here but how can I ever contact her? Her number had lost with my old hand phone and she never turned on her FB since then. But I just want to say that she's my only schoolmate who understands all my hindrances and she never said no whenever I need her hands in something. Even my mom and my sister love and miss her so much, I love and miss her even more. May Allah guard and protect her wherever she is.

When I started my new life as an adult student in UIA, I met several new people who had changed my life 180 degree. I knew them from QYC, one of the clubs that I had joined when I was still studying in UIA. I made friends with some and get close to them. Alhamdulillah, at first, everything went well. But now, everything seems to be faded away with the time. After everyone had graduated from the university, no more messages, no more calls I receive from them. Everyone keeps silent. Maybe they are too busy with their works or with their personal lives. I truly understand that.

But, they did something that can be hardly accepted by my heart. They contacted among themselves without me having the same conversation. It's simply because I don;t have What's App in my phone. When I met them, they acted like I wasn't there at all. They laughed among themselves and ignored me who was sitting beside them. They share a lot of things among themselves without even letting me know. See? To them, my existence is just this much. I seem to be nothing in their lives. When they want to meet, I will always be the last person they contact. They are many things they keep among themselves without even bother to tell me a single thing about it. Because why? Because I'm nothing. 

I am preciousless. I am valueless. I am no one in their list of friends.

To end this post, I just can let my tears running down my cheeks. 

I know that no matter how much other people hurt us, but we still need to be good to them.

But for me, I only can do this much. I can no longer bear with their attitude on how they value friendship.

Now, I'm leaving. I'm leaving from those who never appreciate me in their lives and leaving to those who appreciate my being.

*Friend, all I need from you is to be appreciated. I never hope for something in return. You mean so much to me but if I mean  only this much to you, what ever for we continue this relationship? So, I better take my leave. So that you'll be happier when I'm not around. So long. 

Jam tangan

~Bismillah~

Pertama kali saya baca puisi sependek ini 

dan pertama kali juga hati saya bagai dicucuk-cucuk membaca isi puisinya

Meh saya quote.

pagi menangis,
tengah hari bergembira,
petang berpenat,
senja bersama,
malam bersakit.

satu hari.. menarik.

Puisi ini saya petik daripada blog sahabat saya. Buah hati saya.

Saya tahu sejak dua menjak ini tiada apa yang membelenggu dirinya melainkan kesedihan.

Dan saya rasa kecewa sebab sebagai sahabat, saya tak mampu buat apa-apa untuk mengurangkan rasa sedihnya.

Naifnya saya sebagai sahabat.

Saya tahu dia sedang berduka, tapi saya gagal mengukirkan senyuman di wajah manisnya.

Bila saya membaca puisi ini, hati saya bagai dirobek-robek sama.

Siapa tak sakit bila melihat hati sahabat sendiri disakiti, walau saya tahu

dia yang menyakiti hatinya itu mungkin tiada niat untuk bertindak sejauh itu.

Lantas, demi mengurangkan sedikit rasa sedihnya, saya menghadiahinya seutas jam tangan murah.

Sebab ini saja yang termampu saya berinya bersempena Hari Raya.

Untuk kamu, sahabat, kenapa jam tangan menjadi pilihan aku sebagai hadiahmu?

Kerana aku ingin kau hitung sendiri detik-detik indah yang kau bina dalam hidupmu 

Kerana aku ingin kau kira sendiri waktu-waktu kau bersedih dan berduka

Kerana aku ingin kau lebih menghargai masa yang kau ada untuk membina mahligai bahagia

dan yang lebih penting kenapa jam menjadi hadiahku untukmu kali ini adalah kerana

aku ingin kau tahu bahawa setiap detik waktu kau berduka itu

aku sentiasa ada menemanimu dan mendoakanmu

aku selalu berharap agar aku bisa bersamamu

meminjamkan bahuku dan mengelap pergi air matamu

maafkan aku kerana aku tak mampu buat begitu

oleh itu

seutas jam tangan murah ini kuharap

mampu menjadi pengganti diri yang naif ini

Semoga seutas jam tangan ini mampu mengajarmu

bahawa setiap detik waktu yang Tuhan anugerahkan buat kita

harus kita isi dengan momen-momen yang bisa membuat kita tertawa gembira

bersama orang-orang yang kita cinta

*Saya menyayangi sahabat saya

Puisi: Awak

~Bismillah~

awak

dulu saya langsung tak kenal awak

walaupun pernah sekali kita berprogram bersama

tapi 

saya rasa awak jauh dari saya

jauh sangat

sampailah saya dipilih berlakon teater

walaupun awak selalu ada

masa raptai teater

tapi saya tak pernah cuba 

untuk berborak dengan awak

saya hanya tahu nama awak

tapi saya tak pernah menghulurkan tangan 

memberi salam persahabatan

awak

ingat tak dulu

masa raptai teater

saya tak pakai cermin mata

tu pertama kali awak lihat muka saya

tanpa kaca mata

dan awak terpana memandang wajah saya

kata-kata awak pada saya

masih segar dalam ingatan

tahu apa awak cakap?

awak kata

"cantiknya Zmah! mata en tak boleh nak lepas pandang muka zmah. nak pandang je!"

saya jadi malu awak kata macam tu

seolah-olah saya ni bidadari yang turun dari kayangan

pada mata awak

tapi sungguh masa tu hati saya terharu

kek batik yang awak buatkan untuk saya. sedap sangat!

awak

saya pun tak pasti 

macam sekarang kita boleh jadi rapat sangat

rapat sehinggakan awak selalu ada untuk saya

masa saya sedih masa saya gembira

awak tak pernah tinggalkan saya

tapi saya kecewa

sebab saya tak mampu nak bersama awak

di saat awak memerlukan tadahan air mata

maafkan saya awak

segala kebaikan yang awak buat saya

saya tak dapat nak balas yang sama

hanya doa yang dapat membuatkan 

hati saya sentiasa bersama awak

walaupun saya tak bersama awak

tapi awak tetap akan dapat rasa kehadiran saya

dalam hati awak

sebab

doa saya tak berhenti mengalir untuk awak

setiap kali sebelum tidur

awak mesti akan ada dalam ingatan saya

bila kita tak bertemu

hati saya akan terus tertanya-tanya

"awak, awak ok ke tu? awak menangis lagi tak hari ni?"

andai saya bersama dengan awak masa tu

mesti saya dah peluk awak erat-erat

dan awak boleh menangis semahu-mahunya di bahu saya

surat cinta awak untuk saya. kreatifnya awak!

awak

dalam dunia ni Tuhan ciptakan  banyak perempuan yang cantik

tapi bagi saya

dalam banyak-banyak tu

awaklah yang paling cantik sekali

sebab hati awak murni

keluhuran hati awak yang membuatkan

awak kelihatan cantik di mata saya

awak tahu tak?

awak adalah bidadari di hati saya

awak nampak keras tapi 

sebenarnya hati awak lembut sangat

kelembutan hati awak

yang diisi dengan kasih sayang sesama manusia

berjaya membuatkan saya jatuh cinta dengan awak

awak

awak sahabat terbaik saya

awak tahu tak?

awak selalu tolong saya

awak selalu bagi saya hadiah

awak selalu ada untuk saya

awak selalu buat saya ketawa

awak selalu cari ruang untuk berborak dengan saya

awak selalu buat saya rasa yang saya tak pernah sendiri

awak sangat bermakna dalam hidup saya

awak

mungkin kata-kata ini masih belum cukup

untuk menjelaskan betapa 

awak insan berharga dalam hidup saya

tapi takpelah

saya cuma nak awak tahu

yang awak sangat istimewa

sejak saya kenal awak

saya kurang menangis

sejak saya rapat dengan awak

saya jadi banyak cakap

sejak saya jadi sahabat awak

saya jadi banyak ketawa

walaupun ada masa saya menangis juga

tapi awak selalu datang tepat mada masanya

saya jadi ceria kembali

awak

sampai bila-bila pun

awak tetap ada dalam hati saya

sampai saya mati

sampai saya dibangkitkan semula

dan sampai kita bertemu di syurga

awak tetap dalam hati saya

dan saya harap

awak adalah antara sahabat pertama 

yang saya akan cari di syurga Tuhan nanti

sebab awak bukan saja sahabat

tapi awak teman sejati saya

awak

saya jatuh hati dengan kebaikan awak

awak

saya sayangkan diri awak

awak

saya takkan tinggalkan awak sendirian

awak

ingat ya kata-kata saya ni

sampai bila-bila pun

awak tetap hidup dalam hati saya

awak

awak adalah hadiah terindah Tuhan untuk saya

pastikan awak jaga diri awak baik-baik ya

supaya nanti masa di syurga 

awak kelihatan ceria

lebih ceria dari sekarang

sebab itulah awak

gadis lincah yang ceria

dan selalu buat orang lain tertawa

awak...

saya tak nak awak sedih sedih lagi ya

sebab kesedihan awak kesedihan saya

sebab kesakitan awak kesakitan saya jugak

awak kena selalu senyum dari hati

supaya dengan itu saya juga mampu tersenyum

setiap hari

Trust

~Bismillah~

"Tiap-tiap bulan ini rutinnya. Dia akan tulis surat pada Jade tiap-tiap hujung bulan. Walaupun Jade tak balas,  tapi dia tahu Jade baca. Tiada apa bukti pun yang boleh sahkan Jade baca surat-suratnya, tapi hati yakin mengatakan ya. Lagipun, itu ajelah yang boleh dibuat kalau dia nak bercerita dengan Jade. Internet pun kena kawal. Telefon bimbit dah kena tahan. Kalau nak pakai telefon rumah untuk call Jade, tu namanya tempah tiket maut la tu. Mau kena kejar dengan atuk dengan opah keliling kampung. Tu tak kira Pak Su lagi tu. Hatta surat-surat Jade yang dulu pun kena tapis dengan opah."

(Hlovate, Rooftop Rant, m.s. 131)

Trust.

Trust itu penting dalam apa jua hubungan sekalipun.

Hubungan kekeluargaan, hubungan persahabatan, mahupun hubungan percintaan.

Semuanya memerlukan trust.

Kalau takde trust, sesebuah hubungan itu takkan ada nilainya.

Tuhan akan datangkan ujian yang bertimpa-timpa untuk melihat sejauh mana manusia ada 

trust antara satu sama lain. Even dalam ummah pun, kalau tiada trust sesama sendiri,

musuh ketat akan senang menyelinap masuk dan memusnahkan ikatan yang telah dibina.

Hubungan itu akan menjadi rosak dan hancur musnah 

saat trust sesama sendiri sudah terkubur.

Untuk meletakkan trust kita pada orang, sememangnya bukan mudah.

Caranya, kena yakin. Yakin dengan orang tu, yakin dengan diri sendiri dan yakin dengan Tuhan.

Tanpa yakin, tidak ada trust. 

Sekali lagi nak tekankan, trust itu sangat penting.

Kalau sesebuah hubungan tak teruji, macam mana nak tahu sebesar mana 

trust kita pada orang dan trust orang pada kita.

Tanpa trust, kita takkan tahu sama ada orang itu boleh menerima kita seadanya atau tak.
Tanpa trust, kita pun tak boleh meneka berapa lama dia mampu bertahan hidup dengan kita.
Tanpa trust, kita akan mudah bersangka buruk sesama sendiri.
Tanpa trust, sesebuah hubungan akan kelihatan seperti tidak ada ertinya.
Tanpa trust, tiada jaminan sesebuah hubungan akan bertahan lama.

Trust = Kepercayaan

;)

Kenangan

~Bismillah~

Bila kita mengimbas masa lalu, kita akui bahawa kenangan manis tu lebih banyak daripada kenangan pahit. Saat-saat indah yang kita lalui bersama keluarga tercinta dan sahabat-sahabat tersayang adakalanya pengubat hati di kala ia dirundum sepi. Kenangan-kenangan indah itulah yang sering buat kita tersenyum dan tertawa sendiri. Dan kini, saat mengimbas kembali kenangan-kenangan bersama mereka, tiba-tiba hati mengatakan, "Alangkah seronoknya jika kita bisa kembali ke masa lalu dan hidup di dalam kenangan-kenangan itu buat selamanya." 

Apa yang kita hadapi saat ini, tak mungkin sama dengan apa yang telah kita hadapi pada masa lalu. Dan kita tahu bahawa yang dah berlalu tak mungkin bisa diputar kembali. Namun, ada satu hakikat yang sering kita lupa bahawa hanya kita yang punya kuasa untuk mencipta kenangan-kenangan baru yang indah yang boleh membuat kita tertawa semula. Kuasa di tangan kita kerana kitalah pencipta kenangan-kenangan itu.

Kenapa perlu bersedih?

Kenangan boleh dicipta bila-bila masa dan ia tercipta tanpa kita sedar pun. 

Walapun kadang-kala hati yang putus asa sering mengatakan, "Hidup dalam kenangan lebih seronok berbanding hidup dalam dunia nyata." Tapi kita sekali lagi lupa bahawa kenangan yang pernah kita cipta suatu ketika dahulu adalah manifestasi daripada sebuah dunia nyata.

Merindukan kenangan-kenangan lama tak salah, tapi menghargai saat-saat indah yang kita hadapi saat ini lebih syok! Cherish of what you have now coz one day it will turn out to be the sweetest memory that you will never forget forever in your life.

p/s: Gambar kat atas tu ialah salah satu kenangan manis saya bersama mereka. Mereka tulah sahabat-sahabat rapat saya. Sekarang mungkin masing-masing sudah merata-rata tapi hati-hati kami sentiasa berpaut demi mengekalkan ukhuwah atas nama yang Maha Esa.

(senyum sampai telinga sebab teringatkan mereka)

companions

~Bismillah~

Yesterday... fuhh! Alhamdulillah...done with World Literature exam. One of the killing subjects I'm taking this semester. Should I elaborate more about the exam? Err... sangat sadis sebenarnya because I answered the first question wrongly! Again... careless mistake. I didn't read the instructions properly. Oh my Lord! I've lost 12 marks, terbang melayang macam tu je! Oh no!!!! What should I do, man? I told Kak Mei, "Kak Mei, I had mistakenly asnwered question number one! For the second part of question one, tak perasan langsung dia cakap except Tagore's. Macam mana, Kak Mei?" And Kak Mei was stunt, "Hei, dah bold dah ni!!! Ish! Ish! Ishi! (geram)." Oh no.... suddenly I felt like my heart stopped beating and the time stopped running. Hmmm.... what to do. My fault! Seriously. And when I told Kak Yusfa about my carelesness answering the first question, "Alah Zmah... Kak Mei mesti bagi punya markah. Dia takkan tak bagi langsung. Sebab dia lecturer kita. Dia dah bersama dengan kita sejak dari awal sem. Dia mesti faham punya. Lagipun, akak tak rasa jawapan Zmah semua tu salah. Ada yang betul tu dan ada kaitan dengan soalan." I hope Kak Yusfa was right. But what ever it is... it had passed and now I just need to focus on my next papers and tawakkal dekat Allah banyak-banyak! In sha Allah... Allah is full with mercy and Kak Mei will tolerate giving me good grades. Tapi macam manapun, like I always say to Kak Yusfa, "Ini semua exam dunia! Rileklah!" My principle is... do it for Allah and not for anything else.  Of course everyone wants to succeed and pass the exams with flying colours and no doubt I want to be one of those who'll grad with a scroll in my hand but.... if we do it for grades, dean's list or what so ever and not for Allah, to gain His blessings, it will be nothing! Zero! It will be useless and has no values at all! As long as we had struggled and put our efforts on it, just trust that even if we fail or succeed, we will satisfy for what ever Allah had given us in the end. In sha Allah, baek punya! (tetiba)

========================================

Yesterday night.... bagi menghilangkan segala tensi yang semakin memakan diri menjawab kertas pereksa yang menyeksakan tu, Kak Yusfa, En and I went to JJ Wangsa Maju. Our port. We went there just because we wanted to release our stress of answering the killing exams. So, our first destination was the food court. We bought sushi from the market and ate them there, at the food court. Sodap!!!

Sushi. Drinks. Our dinner meal for yesterday night. The three of us just love sushi very much! And once En said, "En teringin nak makan sushi pakai chopstick tapi tak reti." "Alah En... senang je. Bagi Zmahlah kan, kalau chopstick tebal macam dekat KLCC tu lagi susah nak guna. Dia kalau lagi nipis chopstick tu, lagi senang nak kepit makanan." "Ye ke, Zmah?" En looked very curious and interested. And I was like, "Betullll!!!!" Hehe. Full of enthusiasm. 

Kak Yusfa, En... they both are my best companions as long as I've been studying in IIUM and interestingly, all three of us got to know each other well since we all had joined in QYC. Kak Yusfa said, "Bagi akak kan, QYC ni memang satu anugerahlah buat akak sebab macam-macam benda akak belajar tentang erti kehidupan dalam QYC ni." And if you ask me, this is what I'll say about how I feel as long as I've been joining QYC so far, "Bagi Zmah pulak Zmah rasa QYC ni hadiah Allah buat Zmah bukan sebab kelab ni best. Kalau yang tu memang no doubtlah! Tapi... sebab dalam QYC lah Allah temukan Zmah dengan orang-orang yang baik yang Zmah boleh jadikan sahabat. Sahabat-sahabat yang Zmah jumpa dan menerima diri Zmah sebagai Zmah semua ada dalam QYC. Antaranya.... Kak Yusfa dan En sendiri..." Terharu tak?? Hehe.

Friends... we can find anywhere but good companions are rare to find. Only those who are selected by Allah deserve to be our companions until we end the journey. As for my companions, susah senang mereka memang akan ada bersama. Baik buruk saya mereka akan terima dengan rela hati. That's why I rather call them best companions than best friends. Just like Abu Bakar and Umar as our beloved Prophet's companions, Kak Yusfa and En Siyah Muhammad play the same role in my life.

I love them both for Allah.

:')

Bulatan Cinta Kita-Outing

~Bismillah~

"Zmah, Zmah dah bersedia ke belum?" 

"Bersedia apa Kak Khaty?" 

"Bersedia nak bawak usrahlah." 

"Hmm... sebenarnya Zmah memang dah lama teringin nak bawak usrah sendiri... cuma Zmah tak sure Zmah dah bersedia ke tak nak bawak." 

"Alah... Zmah boleh punya. Akak tanya sebab kalau Zmah dah bersedia, akak nak serahkan anak-anak usrah akak dekat Zmah." 

"Hmmm... bolehlah kak. Zmah cuba mana yang mampu."

Jadi, Kak Khaty pun menyerahkanlah anak-anak usrahnya secara rasmi kepada saya, dengan dibantu oleh Kak Yusfa untuk dibimbing. Aichewah!

Mereka ialah...

Yam,

Ros,

Ida,

Mirah,

Shiela,

Syirah,

Raja

dan

Didi.

Mereka semua... sangat comel, sangat best dan sangat OSEM!

Semuanya jenis dengar kata dan respek kakak-kakak. Well, inilah hasil didikan Kak Khaty selama ni.

Selesai satu tugas! (terima kasih Kak Khaty!) Tugas seterusnya, bagaimana nak menyentuh hati mereka supaya mencintai usrah kami, yang diberi nama Bulatan Cinta Kita. 

Comel, kan? (macam orang-orangnya juga. hee) Almaklum sajalah... mereka ni semuanya tak kurang hebat jugak orang-orangnya. Masing-masing ada komitmen dalam kelab dan persatuan masing-masing. Kadang-kadang bila kesibukan datang menjengah, memang susah nak nampak muka time usrah. Kalau yang ni, saya faham sebab............... saya dulu pun macam tu. Sekurang-kurangnya mereka ni lebih baik dari saya sebab mereka ada sebab yang kukuh kenapa tak datang usrah. Tak macam saya yang dulu. Ponteng usrah dengan 1000 alasan! Tak percaya, tanya sajalah ex-ex naqibah saya. Mereka tahu semunya. 

Tapi... itu cerita lama ya. Buku baru dah lama dibuka. Dah nak tamat dah pun ceritanya.

Hehe.

Tapi semester ni.... semua sibuk. Saya tak adalah sibuk tapi sibuk jugalah sebab nak fokus.

Maklum sajalah... semester akhir. Batuk.

Tapi saya mengerti. Saat-saat macam ni, semua belum mampu nak bagi komitmen sepenuhnya pada Bulatan Cinta Kita. Jadi, saya ikut saja rentak mereka. Ada masa lapang, mereka tetap akan datang berbulatan cinta. Walau macam mana sibuk pun mereka, mereka tetap akan cari masa untuk datang. Kalau mereka tak datang, maksudnya, mereka memang betul-betul tak diizinkan untuk datang.

Saya faham.

================================================

Baru-baru ini, Bulatan Cinta Kita telah mengadakan Program Jalan-jalan KLCC tapi yang dapat hadir hanya tiga orang saja; Ros, Ida dan Shiela. Pun boleh! Daripada takde langsung, ya tak?

Mungkin, masanya pun tak sesuai. Masa revision week. Ada yang balik. Ada yang nak studi. Ada yang takde mood nak keluar. Ada yang ada program. 

Tapi.... alhamdulillah..... yang dapat hadir ni pun sudah cukup membahagiakan hati ini dan yang tak dapat hadir tu, tetap tersemai dalam hati dan rindu pada mereka masih dipendam hinggalah kini.

(Kak Zmah sedang berbasa-basilah ni)

Macam-macam ragam..... macam-macam perangai.... dalam LRT je dah tunjuk kerenah masing-masing....

Haiii.... boleh tahan jugak bebudak ini.... tengolah siapa Nek Gurunya pulak.

Hehe.

 

Berusrah sebentar dalam masjid al-Syakirin. Main game "truth or lie?" dan................

bertukar-bertukar hadiah!

Tapi sebelum tu.... curhat-curhat dulu. Ngeeee..... :D

Dan dalam sesi curhat-curhat tu, semua kena cakap pasal apa yang mereka tahu tentang diri si pemberi hadiah..... dan orang yang menerima hadiah daripada saya ialah... Shiela!

.......... dan kata-kata Shiela tentang diri saya......:

"Mula-mula dulu, sebelum kenal Kak Zmah, saya ingat Kak Zmah ni sombong. Sebab muka Kak Zmah masam je lepas tu macam garang. Memang takut nak tegur. Tapi bila dah kenal, dan berusrah sekali, baru tahu yang Kak Zmah ni baik dan peramah sebenarnya orangnya."

Errkkkk!

Dan saya cakap, "Shiela, tu bukan pertama kali akak dengar orang cakap yang akak ni sombong dan garang." Kami ketawa.

And here comes the peak session of our outing! Photo shooting di Taman KLCC!

OUTING BULATAN CINTA KITA MEMANG OSEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

(exaggeratenya....)

Saya sayang anak-anak saya dan saya sayangkan Bulatan Cinta Kita.

Mungkin masa ni kita tak dapat kumpul beramai-ramai kerana masing-masing mempunyai kekangan dan halangan masing-masing. Tapi saya percaya bahawa suatu hari nanti, kita dapat berkumpul juga.

Bulatan Cinta Kita's next destination will be...

KFC Medan Idaman... celebrating Kak Khaty's birthday. In sha Allah.

May Allah ease everything.

p/s: Yam, Raja, Mirah, Syirah, Didi... kita jumpa masa tu, ok?

May Allah bless our ukhuwah.

:')