About Me

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i know what's right and what's wrong. i am cheerful and out going. it's hard for me to find the one that i want, but once i find the right person, i won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

"Do what you love and you'll be good at it. Sounds simple enough. But what if you love reading comics, playing video games and watching korean dramas until your eyes pop out? Is it possible to make a career out of such things? What's the alternative? Spend all your time wishing you were brave enough to take that leap? Don't let fear stop you from doing what you love. Because ultimately, it's about being true to yourself."

Followers

Saturday, 28 February 2009

Cerpen: Perjalanan Sebuah Mimpi


Aku sangkakan ia benar. ternyata, aku tertitipu. aku berjaya diperdayakan oleh musuhku sendiri. "mimpi itu mainan syaitan," itulah yang sering diungkapkan oleh manusia sekeliling. aku merasa sangat sedih dan seperti mahu membiarkan air mata membasahi pipiku. mengapa ia hanya sekadar mimpi? mengapa ia bukan kenyataan? mengapa? mengapa? mengapa? namun, bolehkah saku ingin terus menggapnya suatu petanda? petanda bahawa perkara itu benar-benar akan terjadi? cuma, latar tempat dan masa sahaja yang berlainan? bolehkah aku beranggapan begitu, ya Allah? bolehkah aku ingin menafikan bahawa ianya hanya sekadar mimpi biasa? bolehkah?


***


Ianya seperti sebuah kisah. kisah antara diriku dengan seorang insan. kisahku dengan seorang sahabah. sebuah kisah persahabatan antara dua insan dari dua benua yang berbeza. "kisah aku dan dia."

Pada suatu masa, aku bersama-sama dengan sahabah muslimahku, mira (bukan nama sebenar), berjalan-jalan menuju ke suatu tempat. sepertinya sebuah taman yang sangat cantik, indah nan permai namun, hati ini tidak merasakan bahawa pada ketika itu kami berpijak di bumi lagi. tetapi, di taman itu terletaknya sebuah bangunan yang sangat besar dan unik struktur binaannya. tidak langsung kelihatan seperti bangunan yang terdapat di bumi. namun kelihatannya seperti sebuah universiti. aku tertanya-tanya, "di manakah aku sebenarnya? tidak ada langsung riak wajah bimbang di muka mira seolah-olah dia sudah berada di situ lebih lama berbanding diriku. di manakah aku, ya Allah?" tanpa banyak soal, aku hanya terus mengikut ke mana sahaja mira ingin membawa aku pergi.

Sedang kami berjalan sambil berborak-borak sesama sendiri, langkah kami tiba-tiba terhenti. tanpa disedari, ternyata kami sudah berada di perkarangan 'universiti aneh' ini. berdiri kami di salah satu sudut bangunan itu, pandangan kami tertumpu pada sekumpulan mahasiswa dan mahasiswi 'universiti aneh' itu yang sedang duduk sambil berbual-bual sesama mereka. apa yang lebih mengejutkan hatiku ialah kesemua mereka merupakan pelajar-pelajar uia termasuk sahabat-sahabat seuniversiti denganku sedang berpeleseran di tepi jalan. kelihatan tiada langsung riak muka sedih di wajah mereka. dalam kelompok yang ramai itu, mataku tertangkap satu imej yang seperti aku kenali. "dia juga di sini? apa dia buat di sini?"siapa dia? itulah dia, sahabatku, aman. sedang duduk antara mereka yang sedang bergelak ketawa dan siapa sangka mata kami bertentangan ketika itu. nampaknya dia juga sudah perasan akan kehadiranku di 'universiti aneh' itu.

Perasaan aneh bercampur bimbang semakin memburu jiwaku. semakin banyak soalan yang timbul di kepalaku. pada ketika itu aku merasakan seolah-olah ada satu tanda soal yang sangat besar sedang menimpa kepalaku. ya Allah, apakah maknanya semua ini?

Aku dan mira menginap di situ dan menjalani hari-hari kami seperti mereka yang sudah beberapa tahun tinggal di 'alam fantasi' itu. mira pula, sedikitpun tidak menceritakan apa sebenarnya yang telah terjadi dan di manakah kami sebenarnya pada masa itu. keesokannya, seperti berada di uia, kami pergi ke kelas macam biasa. pulang saja dari kuliyyah, keadaan pada hari itu sama dengan hari sebelumnya. para mahasiswa dan mahasiswi mengulangi aktiviti yang sama seperti hari pertama kali aku menjejakkan kakiku di 'universiti aneh' ini. tiba-tiba, mataku beralih ke arah salah seorang lelaki yang aku kenali lalu dihadapanku. ustaz! dia langsung tidak menoleh mukanya ke arahku seperti tidak pernah mengenaliku sebelum ini. tiba-tiba, datang pula seorang gadis (pelajar di situ juga) menghampirinya. hatiku tersentak apabila melihat reaksi ustaz mengangkat tangannya dan meletakkannya di atas bahu gadis itu, sepeti berpelukan. mereka bergelak tawa sesama mereka tanpa mempedulikan manusia sekeliling. bahagia. seperti sepasang couple. hatiku terus meronta-ronta, "mengapa ustaz buat begitu? siapa perempuan itu?! mengapa ustaz langsung tidak menghiraukan kehadiranku di situ?! ya Allah, apakah semua ini?!!"

Hatiku terluka melihat tingkah laku ustaz sebentar tadi. tanpa aku sedari, air mata terus meluncur laju keluar dari anak mataku. sedang aku melayani perasaan sedihku ketika itu, tiba-tiba aku perasan ada sepasang mata sedang memerhatikanku sejak dari tadi. rupa-rupanya aman sedang memandangku dari jauh di samping kawan-kawannya di tempat biasa. tangisanku terhenti. aku bermonolog sendirian, "dia memandang akukah? kenapa dia pandang aku?" namun, yang aku perasan renungan aman terhadapku masa itu bukan renungan benci atau marah tetapi sebuah renungan yang penuh rasa simpati dan kasihan. seperti dia dapat merasai apa yang aku rasai ketika itu. "astaghfirullah..." perasaan bersalah menyelubungiku. aku terus mengalihkan pandangan mataku ke arah lain.

Malam itu, di bilik (di 'universiti aneh'), aku duduk sendirian tanpa ditemani sesiapapun. mira juga tiada di sampingku. aku semakin melayan perasaan hairan dan takutku terhadap apa yang terjadi pada diriku hari itu. lamunanku terhenti apabila handphone ku, erika, berdering. terpapar di skrin satu nombor yang sepertinya aku kenali, tetapi aku tidak dapat mengingatinya. aku mengangkat, "hello?" "zimah, kau free tak pagi esok?" suara itu menjawab. macam aku kenal dengan suara ini. suara aman! "hmm, kenapa tanya?" dia membalas, "aku nak jumpa kau. ada benda aku nak bagitau kau. please..." aku menjadi semakin hairan. selama aku berkawan dengannya, belum pernah dia menelefonku dulu. selama ini, aku yang menelefonnya. tapi, malam itu... entahlah..."hmm, aku tak sure lagilah. aku takut ada hal esok. penting sangat ke?" "a'ah. penting sangat! aku rasa aku kena juga bagitau kau. kau kena tahu," nada mengharap. aku memberikan kata putus, "oklah. tengok dulu macam mana. aku kena confirmkan dulu. nanti kalau aku tak ada apa-apa hal penting esok, aku bagitau kau, ok?" "ok. aku tunggu. bye, assalamualaikum." kami meletak telefon.


***


Selepas je berbual sebentar dengan aman mengenai hasratnya ingin bertemu denganku, tiba-tiba, aku terjaga! di manakah aku? aku sedang berbaring di atas katilku, di cfs iium, nilai dan ternyata aku sudah 'pulang'! "aku bermimpikah? benarkah aku bermimpi? mengapa aku rasa macam perkara itu baru saja terjadi sebentar tadi?" bagi menghilangkan rasa tidak puas hati yang penuh dengan tanda tanya, aku mencapai handphoneku. aku pergi ke peti call log bagi memastikan benarkah aman baru saja menelefonku. terpapar di skrin erika, no numbers. sangkaanku salah. aku hampa. tiada sesiapa menelefonku semasa aku lena dibuai mimpi sebentar tadi.

Bagaimanapun, perasaan aneh itu masih lagi bersemadi dalam benakku. aku terus tertanya-tanya, "adakah mimpi itu benar? bukankah ianya hanya mainan syaitan yang ingin menganggu ketenangan beraduku?boleh jadi ia satu petanda bahawa benda itu akan terjadi, tapi, mungkinkah?" dalam jagaannku, aku berkata kepada diriku dengan perasaan hampa bercampur sedih, "mengapa ia hanya sekadar mimpi...?" aku dapat rasakan air mataku seperti ingin keluar membasahi pipi tembamku lagi.


***


Bagi menenangkan jiwa ini, jam tepat menunjukkan pukul 4.40 pm. sampai sahaja seruan Illahi, aku terus mengambil wudhu' bagi mengadap Kekasihku. selesai solat asar, aku mengangkat tangan, berdoa', "ya Allah... adakah ia suatu mesej dari-Mu bahawa perkara ini akan berlaku suatu hari nanti? mengapa hatiku merasakan seolah-olah ia akan terjadi, tapi bukan sekarang? ya Tuhan, bagilah petunjuk dan hidayah kepadaku tentang mimpiku ini. bantulah aku ya Allah."

Aku akan menanti jawapannya.





* Sebenarnya saya dengan aman sudah tidak macam dulu lagi. disebabkan pertengkaran yang sering berlaku antara kami, kami tidak lagi sebaik dulu. seperti katanya, "macam ada sesuatu yang menghalang aku untuk terus berkawan dengan kau." adakala saya terfikir, mungkin kata-katanya benar. mimpi ini telah memberitahu saya sesuatu; apa yang menghalang kami daripada terus bersahabat. cumanya saya tidak pasti sejauh manakah kesahihannya. wallahua'lam.


Friday, 27 February 2009

IRK done! now, BMW....oh Allah!!!

salam.

hmm, hello there! alhamdulillah, i'm still alive today. thanks to Him for lending me this life until now.

i don't want to talk about my IRK exam anymore. it was really hurt my feelings. i'm so depressed, dissapointed, sad, upset and every 'bad' emotion are attacking me right now. however, i will leave it to Him. let Him decide which is the best for His slave. right after i had finished my exam, i went back to my dorm and i met kak mas in the study room. i told kak mas , the exam was very difficult. as difficult as i had expected. many unpredictable questions had been given to us. what did i do? deep in my heart, i prayed to Him, "please help me, my Lord! just give me the best!." then, i told kak mas again that now, i don't care if i have to repeat any of my papers again because for me, as long as it is for the sake of knowledge, i'll always do my very best, just for Him. but, i'm not sure whether i could be that strong to accept it. what ever! at least, i did my best, right? there's nothing to worry about. insya Allah, i'll get what i deserve to get... please support me...


**********


i continued my jihad for the next exams with studying BMW (basic research method and report writing) at the library, accompanied by my friend, iman.

after having my lunch at about 11 am earlier, i slept first before i perform my zohor prayer. i wanted to rest my brain as well as give enough energy for my entire body so that it can work harmonically without any distraction while studying for BMW exam that will be TOMORROW! so fast the time had left us, don't you think?

so, after zohor, about 3 pm, iman and i started our journey to the library. then, we began our revisions by reciting bismillah. hopefully, Allah would open our hearts to receive all the knowledge easily along with His rahmat, insya Allah.



we discussed together about sampling. the types of sampling. of course i'm not gonna tell you about that. i just want to share with you what had iman and discussed about in our preparations for the exam tomorrow. alhamdulillah, another companion was willing to be my study partner. subhanallah... how can i thank you, o my Lord?!!

we finished our discussions about 5.16 pm. we went back because we were late seemed we hadn't performed our asar prayer yet. we thought we should leave... may the angels and all the creatures in the earth pray for our success (as stated in one of Rasulullah ahadith about those who are seeking Allah's knowledge). subhanallah, insya Allah...

pray for us, will you??


say cheese, iman!!!


**********


o'oh... i think my tummy is 'singing' right now. calling2 for food to enter it. hehehe... i bought nasi ayam and i think i'm going to eat it now! don't be jealous, okay? it's not good to have that kind of feeling towards your own sister, you agree?

i got to go.....


*"allahumma bariklana fii maa rozaqtana waqina adhabannar...." (doa before eating).


take care!!!

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Di suatu pagi yang indah....

salam.

"alhamdulillahilladhi ahyana ba'dama amatana wa ilahinnusyur....." (doa bangun tidur).

marilah kita sama-sama memanjatkan setingi-tinggi kesyukuran kepada yang maha Esa kerana masih meminjamkan kita nyawa yang satu ini di samping memberi peluang kepada kita meneruskan tugas-tugas sebagai khalifah di bumi-Nya yang nan indah ini. memberi kesempatan kepada saya bagi meneruskan perjuangan menulis cerita-cerita baru dalam blog ini dan juga memberi sedikit masa lagi bagi mengulangkaji pelajaran bagi matapelajaran yang bakal diuji esok dan lusa. alhamdulillah... "segala puji bagimu ya Allah"...

ada dua nikmat yang terbesar diberikan oleh Allah sebagai tanda kasih sayang dan kecintaan-Nya terhadap seluruh hamba-hambanya; nikmat kesihatan dan nikmat masa (surah al-'Asr: 1-3). subhanallah, tidakkah kita terfikir betapa pemurahnya Allah itu. walaupun kita terus-menerus melakukan dosa dan melanggar perintah-Nya, tapi Dia masih menganugerahkan kita nikmat-nikmat sebesar ini. tetapi mengapa manusia ini semakin hari semakin tidak bersyukur? biasalah... nama pun manusia. memang susah sangat nak mensyukuri nikmat yang Tuhan berikan, setuju? (sebagai renungan. sama-samalah muhasabah diri ye...)

sebenarnya, saya update blog pagi ni pun untuk menghilangkan rasa mengantuk. sepatutnya pukul 4.30 am lagi saya dah sepatutnya mengadap Illahi dan menyambung ulangkaji saya, tapi, nak buat macam mana? mungkin Dia tak izinkan. Dia nak saya rehat secukupnya, tidur secukupnya. saya kunci jam, tapi sedar jam erika saya bunyi pun pukul 6.45 am. kelakarkan? hehehe... biasalah. cuti-cuti ni, agak 'keliatan' sikit. hahaha....




alhamdulillah, bangun je saya dari tidur bagi menyahut seruan illahi, "hayya 'alassolah! hayya 'alalfalah! al-solatu khairun minannaum...!" benda yang saya akan mula-mula tengok, sudah tentulah erika saya. lepas tengok jam pukul berapa, saya perasan ada satu mesej masuk dalam inbox saya. daripada: anonymous. hehehe....

"ISLAM itu hebat, tidak dipikul ISLAM itu melainkan oleh orang-orang yang hebat AS-SYAHID MUHANNAD TAHIR. sekadar motivasi. pagi..."

subhanallah, indahnya tazkirah ini. mesej ini dihantar pada jam 6.11 am. tapi, baru perasannya jam 6.45 am. teruknya.... hehehe...

kata-kata ini dipetik daripada salah seorang pejuang palestin, as-syahid, muhannad tahir. tahu tak siapa pemuda ini? beliau merupakan salah seorang remaja yang syahid menemui Illahi di medan perang, mempertahankan bumi palestin dari tangan-tangan kotor israel. saya ingat lagi, saya pernah sekali menonton video mengenai pemuda gagah berani ini di sekolah. waktu tu, sekolah saya mengadakan minggu al-Quds, sempena memperingati kisah perjuangan saudara-saudara palestin berjuang membebaskan tanah suci daripada jajahan israel. allahu akbar, betapa hebatnya insan bernama muhannad ini. sedih rasanya melihat kisahnya. dia terpaksa meninggalkan ibu tuanya sendirian demi menyahut seruan Illahi sehingga akhirnya dia pergi menemui-Nya kembali. hampir menitis air mata melihatkan keberanian dan kecintaan-Nya yang tinggi dalam berjuang menegakkan kebenaran. kita, nak bangun solat subuh pun liat. cuba bayangkan saudara-saudara kita di sana. hendak cari masa dan tempat untuk solat pun susah. berbeza sekali dengan kita.

tentang as-syahid muhannad, sama-samalah kita mengambil iktibar daripada kisah perjuangan beliau. manalah tahu suatu hari nanti kita bakal menjadi as-syahid muhannad di sini pula? siapa tahu? keajaiban boleh berlaku bila-bila masa saja. masih ingat kata-kata ini?





oklah.
terpaksa berundur diri dulu.
nak ulangkaji IRK dengan BMW. doakan saya esok!!!!

*terima kasih anonymous atas tazkirah yang memberansangkan. semoga Allah memberkatimu, insya Allah...



take care!!!

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Gifts from Allah...

salam.

alhamdulillah, today is the happiest day in my life ever! subhanallah, i noticed there are so many things i got from Allah today or i rather call them as 'gifts from Him'. now, i want to share this feeling with you.

i went to masjid to make some revisions regarding the subjects that i am going to be tested on this friday and saturday: IRK and BMW. but, unlike usual, today, i went there with accompanied by a special friend, jue. alhamdulillah. i think for all this while, Allah had been listening to all my prayers and one of them is i need a partner to study with. so my prayer had just been granted by Him this evening. okay, let me just straight forward, ok?

special gifts from the Almighty for me:

  1. the strength to study at masjid.
  2. a special sahabah; who accompanied me studying at masjid.
  3. peaceful and calmness while studying at masjid.
  4. then, he sent down the rain with full of rahmat (because, before the rain fall, the sun shone very brightly until i almost got a headache, alhamdulillah).
  5. with the rain, Allah sent the wind as well and that made the day very cold and peaceful.
  6. ate delicious keropok lekor and goreng pisang with jue (alhamdulillah, after i've been starving for the whole night last night and finally, He gave me such foods with full of barakah, insya Allah).
  7. lastly, praise be to Allah because giving me a quite satisfactory carry marks for IRK (i only got 30 over 50 but still, i'm thankful to Him).

that's all. the 'special gifts' from Allah, my beloved. i shared my happiness and delightfulness with one of my good friends, 'anonymous'. still remember this person? insya Allah... however, he hasn't replied my sms yet. but, i'll be waiting.



two women are reciting Al-Qur'an in the masjid. so touching...

jue and i are busy studying IRK (khusyuknya... hehehe...)

dibah's favourite kitty. poor her, she still couldn't find it yet.
we met it after we get back from masjid.



i hope, i will get another special gifts from Allah again after this. as long as i show my good behavior towards Him, insya Allah, i might get something special from Him. maybe tomorrow? who knows? miracles can happen anytime, right?

how about you? don't you want any from God too??? =)
insya Allah, you'll get soon!



take care!!!

Thank You Allah...

salam. last night, i spent my whole night with my Asou. hehehe... i think i'm going to be just like my sister, kak uda, who likes to be with her Gong Chan for 24 hours. hehehe... actually, i did that because i wanted to release my tension about BTQ exam yesterday. astaghfirullah, i couldn't really expect that the questions could be that tough, especially for the fill-in-the-blanks questions. these questions told us to fill in the blanks with suitable Arabic terms... o God, suddenly, i just stared at the questions for a very long time, at the same time, seeked for Allah's help to answer those questions. another thing is, while busy completing all my answers in the question booklet, i did not notice that i was the one left in the class. others were all went out, had finished their exam. me??? oh no! i felt so ashamed towards the examination instructors, especially Madame Kamilah. but, i think they might understand that, "maybe this girl wants the best for her exam." well, i hope so. insya Allah.


**********

last night, i preoccupied updating my blog with my dorm mate, yus. we were so excited to change our blogs' background. the unlucky is, my blog still does not as beautiful as kak uda's. however, i'm still satisfied with it. kak uda offered to pick the prettiest template for my blog but i told her maybe next time because i had just changed my blog's template. "insya Allah kak uda, when you were back, i will ask you to modify my blog again, okay?" hehehe...

when i was talking with jue last night, my mind was thinking about someone. one of my very good friends. that person's name is... a-a-a... it is secret, okay! but what i want to say here is, this person is such a very caring, kind and understanding friend. may Allah bless this person always, insyaAllah...



here is a short conversation between us last night (just want to share with you):

me: salam. sorry for interrupt. how was your exam?

anonymous: mine? which one? BTQ? EPT? BTQ alhamdulillah. quite satisfactory. EPT, ok except for the speaking. but overall, alhamdulillah.

me: wow! alhamdulillah. i'm happy for you. sorry, i forgot to apologize if i've been such a bad friend. i supposed to say this before the exams. really sorry.

anonymous: nolah. i'm glad to have you as my friend (a statement that i really love to hear from my friends). we just don't have ample time to spend more time:)

me: are you studying BMW now or IRK?

anonymous: IRK. i'm so worry with BMW. you?

me: yeah, me too. i really worry about it too. i wish i could find friends who i can study with in the library. but i think He wants me to study alone.

anonymous: ya, you should study in group. so effective...

(i told anonymous that i did not have friends who i can study with in the library or at masjid. so, anonymous suggested me to study with one of my classmates (female) and anonymous assumed that this girl likes to study in the library. but my excuses was i did not really close to her. so, that's the problem.)

anonymous: sorry, can't help. ya, it's good. it means you are close to Allah (yeah, i hope so, insyaAllah).

(then, our next topic was about my trouble. i told anonymous during the evening, my mum came and when she went back, i forgot that i left my purse with her. so now, in mum hand i have nothing except a matric card. when i told anonymous about this, anonymous said...)

anonymous: so, you don't have many (money) at all. so, how do you survive? do you have your matric card?

(such a caring friend, isn't it? i told anonymous, i still have my matric card with me but there were only small amount of money left in my account. my brother would come today, but if only he couldn't come, i told anonymous that i would fast (i think so..)).

anonymous: wah... good2. but my pleasure to help. no need to be shy. if you have problem just tell me. (alhamdulillah, thank you anonymous for concerning about your unlucky friend).

(then, we continued our chat with another new topic, which was about my problems. what was the problem was i talking about here. about everything, i told him. about family, friends and even myself. just now anonymous said that he would be pleasure to help, right? yeah i really need anonymous's help but just to be a good listener to all my problems. i did not want anything).

me: the main problem now is that i don't have a study partner like i used to have during my school time.

anonymous: so? you want me to be your study partner? (how could this is going to happen).

me: it's ok. i don't want you to humiliate yourself. people will get the wrong picture if you study with me.

(then, anonymous had been honest with me. anonymous actually prefered to study alone. anonymous loved studying alone, without accompanied by anyone. that's why anonymous loved to stay up. in the next conversation, i apologized to anonymous for telling all about my hindrances to anonymous. the truth is, i had actually feel embarrassed sharing my problems with anonymous but i told anonymous, i have being treated anonymous just like one of my family members. that's why i felt comfortable to share my problems with anonymous).

anonymous: it's ok. can be. because, hmm, i always keep this secret. you want to know my secret? actually... (so, anonymous told me about anonymous's secret). so, i don't mind.


**********

based on my conversation with anonymous, what can i conclude here is, anonymous is a very typical of friend that can be made as a good friend. anytime i am in trouble, anonymous will always there for me. although sometime anonymous cannot help me much regarding my problems, but i'm still very grateful to Allah because he has granted me with a friend that is willing to lend his/her ears to listen to all my matters. insya Allah, may Allah always give His blessings to this person. but now, i rather call anonymous as 'sahabah'. anonymous deserves to be called this way.


**********

okay. i think i shall stop now. i need to take my shower because i have to start studying my BMW as well as IRK or else i will get an unpredictable marks for them. naudhubillah... may it will not be happening. pray for me, ya!



* ya Allah, tambahkanlah temanku rezeki yang banyak lagi halal, iman yang benar, ilmu yang bermanfaat, kesihatan yang elok, kecerdikan yang tinggi, hati yang bersih dan kejayaan yang besar. ameen... (just for you, sohibii...)


may someday, Allah will grant me with many friends just like anonymous. insya Allah...


take care!!

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Satu Perjuangan berwajah baru!!!

salam.

kini blog SATU PERJUANGAN berwajah baru!!!
kak uda, jangan jeles!!! i pun ada jugak... hehehe....

do visit my blog always, ok? and send a comment too.... insya Allah!!!

take care, guys!!!

Sedikit Perkongsian

salam. di sini, saya ingin berkongsi sedikit mengenai pendapat saya tentang persahabatan.

selama 19 tahun hidup di bumi Illahi ini, telah banyak perkara yang saya pelajari tentang kehidupan. tentang keluarga, cinta dan persahabatan. namun, hari ini, saya hanya ingin berkongsi mengenai semua yang telah saya lalui sepanjang bersahabat dengan bermacam-macam jenis manusia.

setiap orang dianugerahi Allah dengan kelebihan, kebaikan dan keindahan masing-masing. begitu juga dengan kekurangan, keburukan dan kelemahan masing-masing. begitulah sunnatullah. begitu indah sekali aturan-Nya. betapa adilnya Dia, menciptakan setiap benda secara seimbang. begitu juga halnya dalam persahabatan. setiap sahabat mempunyai keistimewaan yang telah ditetap Allah sejak azali lagi. ada sahabat yang kasar, tetapi lembut hatinya, ada sahabat yang nakal, tetapi suka mengambil berat, ada sahabat yang garang, tetapi sebenarnya adalah penyayang dan pelbagai lagi. macam-macam corak sahabat yang kita boleh dapati setelah bersahabat dengan seseorang.

setelah menimba pengalaman bersahabat dengan ramai orang, saya ingin membuat kesimpulan mengenai 10 'K' yang perlu dalam sesebuah persahabatan.

10 K dalam PERSAHABATAN:
  • kecintaan merupakan elemen yang paling penting sekali dalam sesebuah persahabatan. ikatan sesebuah persahabatan akan mudah rapuh jika tiadanya kecintaan antara dua insan yang disandarkan kepada Si Pemilik cinta itu sendiri. sebab itu kadang-kadang perlunya kita meluahkan rasa cinta kita terhadap sahabat kita dengan mengungkap, "uhibbuka/i fillah" (bagi sahabat2 yang sama jantina sahaja) agar mereka tahu betapa cintanya kita terhadap mereka, kerana Allah (insya Allah).
  • kasih sayang lebih kurang sama sahaja maksudnya dengan kecintaan. namun, setelah kita mencintai sahabat kita, perlunya kita curahkan segala kasih sayang kita terhadap mereka. tetapi, kadangkala kasih sayang tidak perlu dipamerkan secara luaran. cukuplah sekadar kita mendoakan untuk sahabat-sahabat kita, insya Allah, itu sudah cukup membuktikan betapa sayangnya kita terhadap mereka.
  • keikhlasan dapat menjamin sesebuah persahabatan mendapat keberkatan dan rahmat daripada Illahi. tidak ikhlas ketika bersahabat dengan seseorang akan mengundang permusuhan antara sahabat. bersahabatlah dengan seseorang kerana keluhuran hati budinya, bukan kerana rupa, pangkat atau harta yang dimilikinya.
  • kesetiaan terhadap seseorang sahabat mampu memanjangkan tali persahabatan walaupun jarang bertemu. apabila kita setia terhadap kita, kita akan diingati oleh mereka sehingga akhir hayat mereka, kerana tidak kira susah atau senang, kita setia berada di sisinya memberi sokongan, insya Allah.
  • keberanian dalam berkata benar. dalam persahabatan juga, kita hendaklah berani apabila ingin mengatakan sesuatu. lebih-lebih lagi jika kita telah melakukan sesuatu yang menyakiti hatinya, kita kena berani mengaku padanya atas kesilapan yang dilakukan. selain itu, berani juga dalam menasihati sahabat kita. kerana sebagai sahabat, kita mesti mahukan yang terbaik untuk mereka kan?


  • kejujuran juga perlu dalam persahabatan. jangan sesekali menipu atau menyembunyikan apa-apa daripada pengetahuan sahabat kita. mereka juga perlu tahu apa yang kita lalui dalam kehidupan kita. jangan berahsia, melainkan pada perkara yang benar-benar perlu dirahsiakan (hehehe).
  • kemaafan. sekiranya sahabat kita pernah melakukan sebarang kesilapan, bersedialah untuk memaafkannya, tidak kira sebesar manapun kesalahan mereka terhadap kita kerana sahabat yang baik adalah sahabat yang bersedia untuk memaafkan sahabatnya. jika kita yang bersalah, janganlah malu untuk meminta maaf daripada mereka kerana orang yang dahulu meminta maaf adalah orang yang hebat.
  • kesedihan. apabila kita sedar bahawa sahabat kita sedang bersedih, maka, ikutlah sedih bersama-sama dengan mereka. tawarkanlah bahu kita untuk dijadikan tadahan air mata mereka. kerana tiada siapa yang akan mereka cari selain kita sahabat mereka.
  • kegembiraan. begitu juga dengan kegembiraan. jika kita gembira, maka marilah berkongsi kegembiraan itu bersama sahabat-sahabat tercinta. tidak mahukah kita bergelak tawa dengan mereka? tidak mahukah kita melihat ukiran-ukiran senyuman indah di raut wajah mereka? kegembiraan kita, kegembiraan mereka jua.
  • keserasian di sini bukanlah bermaksud, "kau cantik, aku mesti cantik," "kau kaya, aku pun kena kaya." tidak sama sekali. sememangnya manusia dijadikan oleh Allah berbeza-beza, namun, dalam persahabatan keserasian dapat diwujudkan apabila terbinanya persefahaman antara dua pihak. bila ada persefahaman, barulah hubungan kita dengan sahabat kita akan menjadi lebih baik dan akan berkurangnya pergaduhan disebabkan salah faham (hehehe).

alhamdulillah, itulah dia 10 K yang dapat saya simpulkan mengenai persahabatan. maaf kalau agak membosankan, namun saya tetap ingin berkongsi pendapat saya mengenai topic ini.

"adakah anda dan sahabat anda mengamalkan 10 K ini?"

"ikatan persahabatan itu seperti untaian tasbih yang ada awal tiada PENGHUJUNG. dicantum demi Cinta-Nya, diratib demi Redha-Nya."

"friendship is an onion. it has many layers in it. adds taste to your life, but if you try to cut it you will get nothing but tears!"





so, let's be friends! keep the friendship you've built with your friends safely!

SALAM UKHUWWAH!

Monday, 23 February 2009

RW Exam 2

hmm, alhamdulillah, exam kedua sudah selesai. penat badan dan otak masih terasa lagi selepas berjuang selama dua hari ni. namun, tetap digagahkan jugak diri ini untuk menghadapi hari-hari berikutnya.

exam reading & writing tadi boleh tahan jugaklah soalan dia. reading, ada 4 petikan yang kami perlu jawab tapi, hanya 2 petikan saya dapat jawab dengan baik (yelah tu...). lagi 2 petikan saya hanya scan jawapan. masa tak mengizinkan untuk saya membacanya secara keseluruhannya seperti yang saya lakukan pada 2 petikan yang sebelumnya. masa yang diberikan hanya 3 jam dan bagi saya itu amatlah singkat. tetapi, saya betul2 tak faham. mengapa ramai yang keluar awal dari dewan peperiksaan tadi? soalan senang ke bagi diorang? entahlah...

lepas tu, part II soalan grammar. 2 petikan pendek dan setiap daripadanya terdiri daripada 5 soalan. alhamdulillah, soalan grammar senang. insya Allah harapan untuk dapat markah penuh bg soalan grammar tebal hehehe... writing pulak, tajuk karangan yang diberikan ialah,

"participating in sports activities helps students perform better academically"

hmm, nampak macam simple tajuknya tetapi nak memerah otaknya, payahlah. bila saya tanya kawan2 saya sama ada diorang agree atau against, ramai yang agree. saya je tiba2 sesat against. diorang jadi pelik. macam manalah saya boleh against. hehehe... saya pun tak tahu. mungkin poin untuk saya against lagi banyak berbanding dengan poin untuk agree kot. otak saya dah hampir2 nak blank sebenarnya maa tu. sebab saya tengok masa betul2 singkat. tapi, syukur, saya buat jelah.

tapi, secara keseluruhannya, alhamdulillah. daripada tak jawab langsung, yang penting usaha tu ada. Allah akan bagi kita apa yang bersesuaian dengan usaha kita. soal kena repeat atau tak, itu cerita kemudian. yang penting sekarang, hanyalah doa.

oleh itu, marilah sama2 kita doakan kejayaan saya, ok???
hehehe....

take care!



*maaf ye, hari ni takde mood nak tulis post dalam english. sekali-sekala tulis bhs melayu apa salahnya kan? bahasa ibundaku... hehehe

RW Exam 1

salam...

jadi, hari ini perjuangan saya masih diteruskan dengan satu lagi exam bagi sebjek english, iaitu, exam reading & writing. begitu pantas masa meninggalkan kita, kan? memang betullah kata2 pepatah arah, "masa itu lebih berharga daripada emas." emas, walaupun dah habis, tetapi ia masih lagi boleh dicari di mana2, tetapi masa, sekali ia meninggalkan kita, mustahil untuk kita dapatkannya kembali. oleh itu, janganlah kita bazirkan setiap masa kita yang semakin berlalu. isilah masa yang ada dengan melakukan amal2 soleh. oleh itu, kita tidak akan tergolong dalam kalangan orang2 yang rugi (surah al-'asr: ayat 1-3). insya Allah.

sebab itulah saya berada di sini, CFS IIUM Library bagi mengisi masa lapang saya pada pagi ini bagi mengulangkaji subjek BTQ. insya Allah, exam Reading & Writing akan bermula pukul 2.30 ptg. jadi, daripada saya duduk dalam bili, tidur (hahaha), lebik baik saya datang sini, belajar. sedang orang lain dalam debaran mereka menjawab soalan exam bahasa Arab, saya pula tenang belajar dalam library yang sunyi sepi ini....

oklah. saya rasa saya patut mula belajar dulu. saya akan mulakan dengan belajar BTQ dulu, lepas tu, baru buat revision sikit pasal english, reading & writing sample exam questions.

insya Allah, tolog doakan saya ye!



bersambung...

Sunday, 22 February 2009

LS Exam 2

alhamdulillah... finally my listening and speaking exams had finished! wow! i'm so glad. two exams past. ok, now, i have to worry about my writing and reading exams, which are going to be tomorrow. great!


**********


before the exams, i walked to the exam venue (listening), with my dorm mate, michi. we were so nervous while walking there. we were worried if only the questions might be difficult. about 9 am, we were supposed to get into the seminar hall but i don't know, it took a long time for us waiting outside the hall with our anxiety. we felt like we were just wasting our time, like a fool. astaghfirullah... do forgive me ya Allah for saying this word.

while waiting for the moment to enter the hall, michi and i took pictures together, to release our tension for waiting so long, outside the hall. then, a few minutes later, our other friends had arrived, including siti, nisah, rin, naghiza and iman! hehe... (iman wearing green... like usual. hehe). so, we chit-chat to each other so we thought it might lessen our worries for the listening exam. so this was my opportunity to snap photos of cfs iium nilai students before sitting for the exam. so naughty! hehe... my hobby. i love to snap other people's photos. hehe.. it was so exciting!



sambil menunggu utk dipanggil masuk dewan...

sj je siti dgn rin... sampai hati xnk pandang zimah...

wah! sempat lg iman berposing nihah...


**********


during the examination, ya Allah, only Allah knew how i felt at that time. worried, nervous, sad, all. suddenly i thought about my mom. i supposed to call my mom last night because i wanted to hear her voice before the exams. i wanted to ask her to pray for me. however, i didn't get the chance. i was so disappointed. do you know why i didn't call my mom? it was because of two reasons. first, i thought maybe my mom had fallen asleep and the second reason was i had run out of credit. mak, i'm really sorry. i really feel like i want to cry now as i 'm so regret because i faced the exams without asking for my parent's prayers. oh Allah, please forgive me.

back to the exam, while answering the questions, at first, when i looked at the questions, they looked simple, but to answer them? masya Allah! i was in trouble! i prayed, "oh Allah, please help me!"

what did i do, i just answered them with confident an i listened to the talked really carefully. at the same time i wished for Allah's help deep in my heart.

so, alhamdulillah, i didn't left any of the questions blank. so, i tried to complete all the answers based on what had i listened from the recording. praise be to Allah, everything is completely done. what i have to do now is just pray for the result. i really hope that i'm not gonna repeat this subject again. insya Allah...


**********


finished the listening exam, i hurriedly went upstairs, to the classroom where i was going to be tested for my speaking test. c1-14 at first, was my venue but it had been changed to c2-14. i had no idea why was it happening. never mind.

during the speaking test, i was tested on the given topic, "my favorite tv programme." i didn't know what was i talking about. i think it was really nonsense. oh Allah, hope i'm not gonna repeat for this paper as well. i don't think so. insya Allah.


**********


as for me, just leave it to Allah to decide, all i know,
i had done my very best for the exams!



overall, it was okay. insya Allah. everything is going to be fine. without Allah's permission, i'm not going to repeat this subjects again. i'm really confident about it. Allah is just, right? he knows which the best for me. but, what ever it is, i still need to prepare myself if i don't pass these subjects. i have to redha for his decision. but so far, insya Allah... my result is going to be okay. please pray for me. i need you support too.

okay. until now about the LS Examinations.
wait for next post that will be about my second examinations, reading and writing!!

take care!

LS Exam 1

salam.

exam begin!!! today i'm gonna sit for my listening and speaking examination? ever heard of it? yeah, it is for EPT (English Place Test). my listening exam will be held at 9 am at the seminar hall and speaking will be held at 10.30 am at the classroom, c1-14.

ya Allah, i'm so nervous, not for the listening. listening is quite okay for me but speaking! i don't know. i'm not sure whether i will be able to speak spontaneously or not. please pray for me...

now, although the exam time is just around the corner, but still there are my dorm mates still sleeping. hehehe... maybe they were tired stayed up last night. i think so...

hey, wake up you guys! today is our big day! come on!!!



to be continued...

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Yesterday...

salam.

like always, yesterday was my tiring day as i was busy preparing myself for the final examinations that will be started tomorrow. according to my to-do-list for yesterday, i studied only two subjects: linguistics and btq(basic themes of al-quran).

because it was so noisy in my room and the study room was too messy, so i decided to do my studies at the library because i thought that library was the only suitable place to study. it was the most conducive place to study where you can get the 'feeling' of study there as you can see all people around you sitting at the table and discussing with their friends about a particular subject.

well, unlike me, they were all studies with their close friends. some of them were with partners and some in a group whether in a small or large group. but me, just standing on my own feet. studying linguistics all by myself without accompanied by anyone. sad wasn't it? yes, it was. but that's life. we can't wait for anyone to accompany us to start studying right? to be optimistic, i am 100% believe that He wants me to be independent and not to rely on others in my studies. probably, he's right. thank you, Allah!

after i had gone back from the library, at night i started studying btq. just reading and revising all the notes given by my beloved lecturer, madame ariyanti, regarding chapter 1: hidayah and chapter 2: knowledge. again, alone... owh, i almost forgot! during the evening, i called my bestfriend , suha, to hear her voice again because it has been a long time that we lost contacted to each other. unfortunately, she didn't answer my phone so i just sent sms to her and said that i called her just wanted to release my anxiety about the final exams and wanted to ask for her advices on how should i do to erase my nervousness. she didn't reply my sms.


**********


that night, i went to the library again to continue my reading on subject btq. but this time, i really couldn't focus myself as i didn't know why. maybe it was because of the capsule that i had swollen given by the doctor for my disease. it wasn't painful but i felt like something was stuck in my throat. so, that disturbed my attention to study btq. then, i went back to my hostel and waiting for suha's call. praise be to Allah, at 9.30 pm sharp, my erika was ringing and when i looked at the screen, it was really her. so we had a long chat last night. we laughed together, we cried together, we made jokes together, and finally she gave her advices on how to lessen my nervousness for the exams and i listened to her very neatly. subhanallah, what a very calm conversation we had. may Allah blessed our nights last night. ameen.

ya Allah, i really miss her. sometimes i'm wondering, when will Allah gather both of us in the most blissful day when he can give us all his blessings and mercy? suha always said, "insya Allah, someday. hazimah, you must have faith in Him. insya Allah we'll meet again. don't worry, ukhti." yes, i trust her. i absolutely trust her. Allah never disappoint His slaves. we believe that someday our prayers would be granted by Him. ameen....

nasuha, "i'll be waiting for that moment..."





**********


i text ed my beloved sister, kak tiqah as well to ask for her advice about the same thing. at first, i thought she wasn't going to reply my sms, but i was totally wrong. suddenly i remembered suha's said, "hazimah, do husnuszhon to other people..." and i did.

before i went to sleep, i noticed that there were two unread messages on erika's screen and one of them from kak tiqah. alhamdulillah, i couldn't stop praising Allah for the reply. in the message, this was what kak tiqah said:

"zimah syg, sori lmbt... akak byk meetng mggu ni... anyway dik, usaha y tmmpu. doa mga ada kbrkatan dlm usaha kt y sdikit tu. kt mnsia y lmh. pohon kekuatn pd Allah y kekal. bncg topik2 ptg dgn kwn2. byk'n latihan dan praktis soaln. rjuk lctrer tjuk2 kritikal.. al da best, usaha slgi ada msa."

subhannallah, that was so sincere advice i had received from my sister. insya Allah i will do my very best for the exams. kak tiqah, please do not forget to pray for me. i really miss you!





**********


i got a senior, a male senior but he's taking human sciences course or i rather called him as my brother, insya Allah. now, he had already moved to iium main campus at gombak. he also advised me about the same thing. i text ed him and he replied:

"salam. sory coz xblh ckp lme td. x much dat i cn shre wif u. cz i'm also x perfct n still improvin myslf. wateva it's, u tll hv 2 face it. dub study 2 much until u 4get ur rest. ask ur parent's 4gvnes n pray 4 u. n d most importnt tin is, ask d blesin, help, n guidance 4m Allah. bykkan solat (tahjud, hajat, taubt etc..). insya Allah u cn do it. do ur best! gudlck!"

that's all he said. thank you brother said for the wonderful words. insya Allah, with Allah's help, i'll success. pray for me too.





**********


hmm, everyone seems very kind to me. i am so thankful to Allah for giving me such good friends who always care for me. they always here for me every time i need them. subhanallah, what a wonderful friends i have here. thank you ya Allah. i can't stop saying these words for these beautiful gifts. insya Allah.

thank you every one. i'll do my very best for these exams not just for Allah, for me and for my parent but also for you guys.

ya Allah, bless them all... ameen...

Thursday, 19 February 2009

Kuiz dah habis!!!

salam.

alhamdulillah, kuiz IRK sudah pun selesai semalam bukan main lagi risau tak terkata ulangkaji IRK sampai tertido-tido, sampai asou pun lupa nak tutup. sian dia. dah nak jadi macam gong chan kak uda dah, tak rehat2. sorry, my dear asou... forgive me... hehe...

i am so relieved because the quiz had finished and lucky me because the questions were not as difficult as i expected. risau je lebih, tapi nasib baiklah blh jwb. hehe.. thanks to ustaz kassim for preparing us with the easy questions. do pray for us, ok ustaz?

hmm, now, there's another thing that i have to worry about. linguistics!!! alamak, habislah aku kali ni. this evening, at 4 pm until 5 pm, we're going to have a replacement class for linguistics with madame mumtazah and seems we're going to continue our lessons regarding the hardest topic which is morphology analysis. actually, it's not as hard as you think but madame's explanation is too much complicated for us to understand. saya lebih senang faham kalau shifa yang ajar. tp, madame ajar tetap best dan bersemangat. it's just a little bit difficult to catch up. hehehe....

yesterday, she gave us 20 words in a foreign language (i'm not sure what language was it) and then our job is to analyse them. it's kind of interesting, tp memerlukan daya kesabaran yang sangat tinggi dan kita kena betul2 faham mcm mn nak analayse perkataan2 tu. baru kita enjoy buat analasis tu. hehehe... but, i haven't done it yet. hehe, yelah. sibuk update blog niha. but, don't worry, i'll do it after zohor. i wanna sleep first before i start my study.

hmm, what else? semalam, saya bukak myspace seseorang dan saya mendapati dia ada masukkan satu lagu. tajuk dia, "take my heart" yang dinyanyikan oleh SOKO. no idea who she is. but, there's something wrong when the first time i listened to this song and when i looked at the title, "take my heart?" strange. seems like, there's something about this person that attracted me to investigate more about him.

tahu tak saya buat apa? saya cari lagu tu dalam website ESNIPS dan download lagu tu masuk dalam asou saya, then i searched its liric as well from YAHOO search engine and i kept it in my asou to do some research about it, after i've finished my final examinations, of course. not now!

harap2lah orang tu tak tau saya sedang mengkaji dia sekarang. insya Allah, he'll never know. banyak sangat pasal dia yang saya nak tahu. seemed he didn't want to tell me more about him, so, let just me find out myself about him. all about him. hopefully, Allah will help me. insya Allah.
as he knows that i like to conduct a research. hehe... sounds funny, tapi itulah kenyataannya. yeah, WAN HAZIMAH. that's me!

ok. another four minutes left. pukul 12 pm, saya mesti tidur untuk mengumpul tenaga untuk siapkan assignment linguistics. so, i better leave now.


good night everyone!!! hehehe...


take care!

Kuiz IRK!!! Take a rest for moment....

salam.

ya Allah! esok saya akan menghadapi satu ujian yang tidak kurang besar jugaklah bagi saya untuk menentukan carry mark bagi subjek IRK. esok ustaz kassim nak buat kuiz IRK. saya dah baca dua tajuk. tinggal tiga tajuk je lagi, tapi, sekarang betul2 dah tak larat nak terus membaca. otak jadi jammed dah niha. tengkuk pon dah sakit. mata dah semakin kuyu. badan terasa semakin tidak bermaya. nak baca, tapi, entahlah...

dalam to-do-list saya untuk hari ini, sepatutnya saya kena habiskan baca IRK sampai last chapter. then i will move on to do some revisions on subject linguistics under the topic: Morphology, and also revision on subject btq; chapter 3 and 4. but, unfortunately, melihatkan kondisi badanku seperti ini, do you think that i should proceed with my revisions then? what is your opinion?

sambil2 nak menunggu mata ni tak mengantuk dan bagi mendapatkan kembali tenaga untuk badan ini supaya terus bekerja, saya nak kongsi sikitlah about something. about my friend.


"wherever you are, i will always be by your side"

well, i got a friend. hmm, a male friend, actually. he is taking the same course as i am, BEN (english) but we are not in the same group(class) for this semester. unlike the last semester, we were only classmates for the FIM class. tapi itupun kami tak pernah bersembang ataupun bertegur sapa lah. buat tak tahu je. al-maklumlah, bak kata dia, perempuan dalam kelas kami masa tu ramai sangat. dia takut nak pandang belakang. hehehe... pemalu lah kononnya.

what am i going to talk about him? well, let's see. the truth is, there's nothing much about him that i know. we are not bestfriends or even closed friends but insya Allah we are still friends. on the other hand, there's is something about him that i am quite dissatisfy with. saya pun tak pasti sama ada saya nak bagitahu ataupun tak. takutlah pulak kalau membuka 'aib kawan kita sendiri tanpa pengetahuan dia. but, in my opinion, it is better for us if we say something good about our friend, right? yeah, absolutely!

i have been friends with him since the beginning of this semester. macam biasa, saya yang mengorak langkah dulu. faham2 jelah. saya nikan berani. hehe. bukan apa. saya, sejak masuk uia ni, saya nak ramaikan kawan dan saya nak kenal dengan kawan2 kelas saya yang lepas. that's all my intention.

let me tell you a little about him. he's the youngest in his siblings. oklah. dia seorang yang sangat sporting dan ceria. suka buat orang ketawa. kadang2 bila mood saya tengah down, saya akan cari dia untuk menhiburkan saya. jadi, dialah yang selalu buat saya gelak bagai nak pecah perut niha. sejak itu, saya betul2 rasa yang saya tidak keseorangan. memang manis dalam persahabatan, kan? do you agree? yeah, i think so. especially when our friends always try to make us smile and laugh again. we will feel like this world is ours. why did i say so? entahlah, mungkin sebab bagi saya, selain keluarga, sahabat adalah segala2nya. friends or companions are my second family after my own family. that's why i always try my very best to protect the kinship between my friends and i but unluckily i always fail. funny isn't it? yeah, i knew it.

now, everything seems gone. slowly. maksud saya, saya rasa macam dah tak ada sesiapa boleh buat saya ketawa sangat2 lagi sekarang selain daripada dia. for me, each of my friends has their own specialties. setiap daripada mereka memang terserlah keistimewaannya pada pandangan mata dan hati saya. cuma hari ni, hati saya terdetik untuk menceritakan tentang sahabat saya yang sorang ni. hmm... what else about him? what ever it is, he is still the best for me. even sometimes he hurt my feelings but i don't mind because everyone makes mistakes, right? so, what's wrong if we always forgive them even they won't do the same thing as ours? think about it, will you?

ok. saya rasa saya dah ada tenaga sikit untuk sambung revision saya.
i better continue my reading now or else i will lose my precious time again.

take care everyone!

*insya Allah, to my other friends, i will never forget about you guys. you'll always in my heart, especially my muslimat friends. you' ve changed my life now. may Allah bless you all, insya Allah.
*kepada sahabat yang saya maksudkan di atas ni, saya amat berharap agar dia dapat membaca entry saya ni. entah kenapa, tiba2 saya rasa seperti kehilangan dia, sahabat yang baik (tak lebih daripada tu, insya Allah).

wassalam.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

My checklist

salam, hey you guys!

why ya i'm so lazy to start my revision. meanwhile my final examinations are just around the corner. astaghfirullah! how awful i am. am i?

actually, in my checklist for tonight i mean, my to-do-list actually, i'm going to study IRK as ustaz kassim wanted to do a quiz for this Thursday class. and the questions that we're going to be tested are on the topic usul al-fiqh until the end, if i'm not mistaken. oh my goodness, i bet it's going to be my tiring night tonight.

ok. after i've finished updating my blog, i'm going to read for IRK quiz. then i will read BMW also as there are so many topics that i haven't covered yet.

it's seems like i'm not ready yet for the exams. do you agree? do you have any idea how to overcome my laziness?

anyway, i really miss kak uda. poor her. she must be very missing me too, i guess.

got to go now. i better get started my revision now or else i won't get the chance to touch the IRK book anymore. na'udhubillah.

take care!





*please pray for my quiz this thursday. insya Allah, who knows with your prayers, i might got the highest mark for my quiz. it's not impossible you know. ameen.

Syukur Alhamdulillah...!!

salam. salam sejahtera!

alhamdulillah, tak taulah kenapa saya gembira sangat hari. actually, there is something that made me feel so delighted and satisfied! do you want to know? ok. i'll tell you.

sebenarnya, hari ini, kami dikejutkan dengan dua berita gembira. satu, mengenai linguistic and another one is about bmw(it's a name of a subject, ok... not a car!).

about linguistic, praise be to Allah, the Almighty, we had a very good marks for our presentation. our presentation was about "Second Language Acquisition". jadi, kami sangat berpuas hati dengan markah presentation kami tu. seronok sangat bila kita tengok markah kita, sebab kita tahu yang kita dah buat yang terbaik!
bukanlah saya nak menunjuk. sebenarnya, ada student lain yang dapat markah lg highest dari kami. cuma, saya nk luahkan rasa gembira je kat sini. hehe...

below, i'll show our marks, both for group as well as individual presentation. oh, before i forgot, my group consists of three members; shifa, najihah and i. sekarang, korang bolehlah tengok. hehe...




*group mark sheet:
including content, handout and visual aid.

for the group presentation, we got 24.5/28. oklah tu, kan? cantik apa! hehehe... bertungkus lumus tau kitorang prepare for this presentation. alhamdulillah, He gave us the satisfying marks. thank you, Allah!



*individual mark sheet: mark for the individual presentation;
shifa, najihah and i.

yang ni pulak, markah utk individual presentation. tp, mmg x dpt di sangkal laglah, shifa lg tinggi! hehe... she's always the best! insya Allah. i wish i could be as clever as her. tp, saya ttp puas hati dengan markah saya. alhamdulillah. oklah tuh. cukup2 makan. asalkan kita happy. kan? mana agknya saya punya ye? alah... cari sendirilah... hehe...

now, i wanna share with you about my second happiness (betul ke ayt aku ni?). ok. bmw. this morning, we received our bmw assignment, "research proposal" back. at first, saya ngan shifa takut sgt nk dpt balik kitorang nye assignment tu. takut sgt dapat markah rendah lg. berdebar-debar rasanya. however, we were very thankful to the Almighty, coz giving us such marks. oklah... overall, 16/20. ok kan? berbaloilah dgn usaha kami bersengkang mata every night to complete the proposal. alhamdulillah. tak putus2 ucapkan kalimah indah ini.



*inilah dia "research proposal" kami.

yeah, it looks very simple. tp nak siapkanya, ya Allah! kepala ni mcm nk pecah rasanya. tp, we don't care anymore. aslkan dpt markah yg baik, itupun dah kira cukup membahagiakan kitorang. kan shifa?? hehehe...

so, that's all about my most delightful moment for today. i bet kak uda wants to know more about my studies 'development' now. betul ke ni? hehehe.. still the same. broken english. who cares! we are learning, right?

kejap ye. nak share jugak gambar saya dgn shifa masa last time kami nk siapkan "research proposal" ni. ms tu, kami buat kerja dgn our other members; siti, nazrin and nisah. but, we didn't get the chance to take their pictures as well. sorry, guys!


dalam tension2 siapkan bmw, sometimes kenalah
happy2 jugakkan, shifa?

memory with shifa while doing the
assignment in the library


*terima kasih asma' sbb pinjamkan tangan masa zimah tangkap gambar proposal dgn mark sheets ni. may Allah bless you!
*to siti, nazrin and nisah, sorry sgt2 sbb xde gmbar korang. xpe2. insya Allah, we''ll get the chance to take photos together, ok?


wassalam

Monday, 9 February 2009

Sakit

salam, selamat pagi semua! oppss, maaf! selamat tengahari semua.

semalam, saya ym dengan mak. rindu sangat dengan mak. syukur alhamdulillah, dapat ym dengan mak semalam dapatlah hilangkan sikit rasa rindu saya pada mak yang semakin hari semakin membuak-buak, setelah beberapa minggu tak dapat pulang ke rumah. sedih rasanya. rasa macam nak sangat balik rumah tatap wajah mak dan ayah. nak sangat peluk mak. saya nak menangis lagi dekat mak. alangkah bagusnya kalau saya boleh jumpa mak setiap hari. walaupun dekat, tapi berbanding dengan orang lain, sekarang ni saya dah jarang pulang ke rumah disebabkan beberapa sikit kesulitan; final exam dah dekat, tak cukup duit dan kedaan badan yang tidak mengizinkan.

semalam, sebelum ym dengan mak, saya ada bukak blog. dekat entry saya yang terbaru, kak uda hantar komen. dia suruh saya pulak bukak blog dia. mengalir air mata saya membaca entry dia yang terbaru, walaupun ia tak ada kena mengena dengan saya, tapi kisah persahabatan antara dia dengan kak tiqah selalu menyentuh hati saya. sambil membaca blog kak uda, tiba-tiba saya terimbas kembali saat kak uda menelefon kak uda dari Jordan dan mendengar suara kak tiqah juga telah membuatkan air mata saya semakin deras menyentuh pipi. alangkah bagusnya kalau mereka berada di sisi saya sekarang ni. menemani saya mengharungi segala susah senang di sini.




berbalik tentang ym dengan mak tadi. masa saya ym dengan mak, saya ada bagitau mak yang saya nak ym dengan mak sebab sekarang ni, saya memerlukan seseorang untuk mendengar semua masalah saya di sini. saya merasakan, semakin dekat saya dengan peperiksaan, badan saya terasa menjadi semakin lemah. saya seperti sudah tidak bermaya lagi mahu belajar. kadang-kadang bukak buku, tapi mata saya tidak dapat mentafsir satu-persatu perkataan yang terpapar dalam buku itu.

keadaan badan saya menjadi semakin tidak bermaya di setiap detik saat yang berlalu. mata menjadi kabur, sukar untuk bernafas dan baru sebentar tadi saya muntah-muntah. tapi, alhamdulillah bukan muntah darah. kalau muntah darah, tak taulah nak buat macam mana. exam dah dekat ni. harap2 janganlah badan buat hal.

oleh sebab saya tak larat nak membaca buku, jadi, saya pinjam laptop kak irah kejap. nak tengok cerita KAMI. tengah asyik menonton, tiba2 saya rasa semacam je kat tekak ni. saya ingatkan nak buang kahak macam biasa. rupa-rupanya saya muntah banyak sangat dalam toilet tadi. sampai sakit perut saya. rasa tak bermaya sangat. tiba2 masa tengah muntah tu, saya teringat kat mak. kalaulah mak ada kat sini, mesti mak dah lama usap2 belakang saya, bagi saya lega. tapi, saya sedar yang saya hanya bermimpi. tak mungkin itu berlaku. sebab mak tak ada kat sini. tak ada siapa yang akan mengusap belakang saya lagi macam dulu. kehidupan di asrama memang macam tu. tiada siapa yang akan menjaga kita melainkan diri kita sendiri. tidak hairanlah macam mana kuatnya kak uda mengharungi kehidupan di asrama bersendirian sejak tingkatan satu dulu.




sebenarnya, ada perkara lain yang membuatkan hati saya bertambah sedih dan sakit. lebih sakit dari perut saya. orang yang selalu care pasal saya selama ni seolah2 sudah tidak mempedulikan hal saya lagi. selalunya dia akan tanya,"ok tak hari ni?" "kalau sakit, pergi klinik, makan ubat. jangan degil," dan macam2 lagilah. tapi, kini, semua tu dah tak ada lagi. betul kata mak. hati manusia sebang berubah. bila cakap dengan mak pasal 'dia', mak kata, "jangan fikir pasal dia lagi." saya dengar je cakap mak. ada lagi seorang, seorang sahabat. sekarang kami dah betul2 lost contact hanya semata2 saya menegurnya mengenai sesuatu. saya dah minta maaf pada dia atas kesilapan saya, tapi kalau orang dah tak sudi maafkan dan tak nak berkawan dengan kita lagi, takkan kita nak paksa? kita tak ada hak untuk memaksa orang untuk menerima baik dan buruk kita, kan? jadi sekarang, saya dah malas nak fikir banyak pasal orang lain. buat apa fikir pasal orang lain sampai kita sakit2 sedangkan mereka sedang ketawa riang dengan teman2 mereka tanpa sedetik pun memikirkan tentang diri kita.

itulah, serba sedikit luahan hati saya untuk hari ini. mesti pelikkan? bukak buku tak larat tapi bukak blog dan taip entry baru larat plak? hehehe... biasalah. kalau update blog, kita tak payah nak berfikir. kita cuma tulis dan keluarkan semua benda yang terbuku di hati. tapi, kalau baca buku, lagi2 buku akademik, memerlukan otak kita untuk bekerja. masalahnya sekarang, otak saya memang tak dapat nak berfungsi bila 'sahabat' (badan) lemah.
harap korang semua faham.

sampai sini dulu.
salam.

p/s: mak, imah minta maaf kalau selama ni imah banyak buat dosa kat mak. tolong doakan imah cepat sembuh. imah betul2 tak larat sangat ni. pening kepala. mak, mak jangan risau sangat pasal imah. setakat ni imah ok. selagi imah tak pengsan, imah ok. insya Allah. mak tak payahlah datang tengok imah. bukannya tak ada siapa2 langsung yang jaga imah kat sini. kak mas, kak irah, na, asma' semua ada tengokkan imah. jangan risau ok? oh ya! terharu baca entry mak semalam. rasa macam lagi nak menangis. mak, i love you and miss you forever! may Allah look after you , daddy and the rest of the family.

sayonara!

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Memories In Port Dickson

salam, hye again!

this entry is specially published to mama and kak uda. i'm not gonna tell every thing about our visits in Port Dickson but i just want to share a few pictures that we took together there. me, mama, abg long, kak long, kamil and zaim. mama, finally your dream comes true. hehe.. (sorry for waiting so long...).



these are the overviews of the sea and the beach in Port Dickson

the resort that we had been living in. very comfortable!

(syoknya kamil n zaim mandi pool...) i have grown up,
so i can't play in the pool anymore. huhu...

mama, are you thinking about someone? ehemm...

mama, are you playing hide and seek with me???

however, i could still have time to just be with my mama, alone! hehe...


kak long and abg long: what about us? aren't there any pictures of us too?
imah: hehe... don't worry. i won't forget about you both.

(amboi kak long! kontrol cun ke..?) please...

abg long with his children.. yaikks!


*that's all from me! hope you'll enjoy them!

wassalam.

English Language VI Exam

salam, everyone! good morning. it has being a long time, rite? well, understand yourself. busy girl, thats it! hehe...

poor kak uda. she keep asking me to update my blog. the thing is, i do have so many interesting stories that i would like to share with you here and furthermore the WIFI here, in our room is very good too. but there's only one problem. i'm not like my sister who loves to update her blog all the time. i prefer to just keep the stories in my mind and tell any one who would lend his ears to hear them. but, never mind. i'll try as best as i could to update my blog whenever i have something to share. it's that okay?

all right. now, where was i? oh ya! about the exam yesterday. english exam; reading and writing. oh my goodness. i really couldn't believe that i had sit for those kinds of questions for my final semester examination. the questions were so tough and hard without we expected. well, who cares? we are level 6 students, of course the questions would be so challenging and we have to accept it. if only i could change the questions into the easiest ones. just kidding okay? of course there will no way for us to get what we want so easily, right? that's why the Almighty wants us to work on our efforts, perform prayers for Him as well as leave everything to Him and let Him decide which is best for us.

on the other hand, i'm still do not satisfie with my exam yesterday. never mind. it's already passed. now all i have to do is just keep praying to Him to give me good results in every subjects along with His bless, insya Allah. i need your support too, you know.

okay. i think that's all about the exam. i'll tell you more about the upcoming exams which will be finished by the beginning of March. i'll let you know. please do not hesitate to open my blog and read my new entries.

wassalam

Friday, 6 February 2009

Simple Poem from the novel written by Cecelia Ahern

If You Could See Me Now

Having a family
Is a precious thing to me
Happy family I mean
Father, mother and my little sister
All of them are really mea
nt to me.

All of them are created by God,
As special gifts
That will enlighten my life
Cheer me up from all sadness
They are all like angels to me
They will always by my side,

Every time I’ll be needing them.

But, something happened to us
That had broken up our connection
The “Love Chain” had brough
t to an end
And now, the title of “Happy Family”
Seems had vanished.
Everything had gone, gone forever.
“You are not my daughter!”
“I don’t know you!”
“Stay away from me!”

Oh, mother, how could you say something like that.
What is my fault until you dare to admit
That I am no longer you daughter?
And why did you leave us all

And abandoned us like you never had a family?
Why did you run off from your only husband?
Why did you disappear from Saiorse’s sight, since she was a baby?
And why we must face all these?

Many years passed.
Every day we have gone through
Without our “loved” one by our sides.
Saiorse had grown as a
teenager,
While father had grown older.
As for me,
All that had happened to us
Had taught me so much.
Being independent, responsibility, loving, and caring person,

That’s what I am now.
However,
Being such a mature woman,
Is the hardest thing in my life
As I can’t do all things myself.

“Elizabeth… Elizabeth…” somebody is whispering, calling my name.
“Don’t worry, I am always with you.
Watching you and accompany you with all the sorrow.”
“Oh, thank you! But who are
you
And where are you from?” I asked.
“From a place called Ekam Eveileb.
A place that you will never know
And Ivan is a name given to
me.
Strange… weird… odd…
Only these words are playing in my mind right now.
‘Who is this guy, actually? Why is he here?’
Every time my eyes are full of
tears,
He will seat next to me
And lend me his shoulder to cry.

Luke and I spend our time together
With the guy; our savior

We are happy to be together.
Luke had been the best nephew
Since he had been left by his mother,
Just like me.
We are happy with our new life now
And we’ll be happy with our
life tomorrow and so on,
As long as Ivan with us,
There is nothing to be afraid of.

Suddenly, I was attacked, by a strange feeling!
I do not know why

As it occurred unconsciously, without I realized.
Yes, it is true that the presence of Ivan in our life
Had changed so many things.
Now, there is laughter on our faces
No more tears.

But, why I got this feeling
Towards him?
Is this what we called as “Love?”

“Love,”, the funniest word I know.
What do you know about
“Love?”
It can only hurt you,
Because of it, you’ll blind,
Because of it, you may injure your
Because of it, you would die,

And all I know is that
“Love” is the cause of agony
And it will give you nothing but a wounded heart.

Though, this man had stolen a part of my heart
All with him I could feel
Peaceful, calmness, blissful, and happiness in my life.
Everything seems very perfect in my eyes.
We are pleased to each oth
er, including Luke.
Until one day, he went missing
He was no longer with us
Luke and I never stopped looking for him

But luckily we could still feel his existence
Deep into our heart.
‘Ivan, where exactly have you been?’

‘I miss your laughter; I miss your smile,
I miss all the memories we built together with Luke.
And most importantly I miss you!’

“Elizabeth! Elizabeth! Wake up. I need to talk to you.”
Somebody called me, again in murmur
Like the first time; during my beauty sleep.
“Later, I just want you to be with me,” I said.

“Elizabeth, listen! I have to go.
You are not going to need me anymore.
I am sure you can proceed your life without me.”
“What are you talking about? Just continue your sleep.”
“Elizabeth, you must be strong
!
Do not cry whenever you face the challenges out there.
I love you, Elizabeth and
I am going to love you forever,
Even we must be apart, I will never forget you.

And even I’ll be invisible again,
Remember that I am always with you.
Good bye, my dear!”

‘Huh?’ Suddenly I awakened.
‘Maybe I was dreaming.’

Luke
and I never saw Ivan after that.
Nevertheless, we happy without his presence,

But we still consider that he is always with us

Our heart make believe of that.
I
van,
thank you for bringing us this happiness. We’ll miss you! See you!’

*****

Far from them,
There is someone; watching them,
“If you could see me now...”
And all of sudden,
His tears fall down from his eyes.

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