About Me

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i know what's right and what's wrong. i am cheerful and out going. it's hard for me to find the one that i want, but once i find the right person, i won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

"Do what you love and you'll be good at it. Sounds simple enough. But what if you love reading comics, playing video games and watching korean dramas until your eyes pop out? Is it possible to make a career out of such things? What's the alternative? Spend all your time wishing you were brave enough to take that leap? Don't let fear stop you from doing what you love. Because ultimately, it's about being true to yourself."

Followers

Friday, 31 May 2013

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You



Lagu ni bukan ditujukan untuk sesiapa... saya post sebab just nak bagitahu yang saya suka sangat dengan lirik dan muziknya.

:)

trust

~Bismillah~

From now on, I decide to not to trust anyone so easily. I will never ever share about me, my life, my problems or anything pertaining to myself with anyone especially those who do not really know who the real Wan Hazimah is and who never concern or care about her. I've experienced the feeling of being betrayed by someone so-called sahabat baik many times in my life and I won't let myself be deceived again for the third, fourth, fifth time... seriously! Enough is enough! (tetiba emo) I just can't believe that friends whom I trust so much dare to spread about me and about everything I had shared with them to their other friends whom I'm not closed with. Don't know on what purpose they did this but.... they upset me. Seriously, if I got the chance to meet them eye to eye, this is what I will say to those people.... "I've trusted you so much in the name of our friendship. But, you have ruined that trust and you broke my heart too. Now, my trust is no longer yours to keep. I shall take back my trust that I had put so much in you. Don't ask for it anymore coz I will never return it to you." I wish I could say this right in front of their faces but I got no strength and of course I will never do such thing. Cukuplah diorang paham-paham sendiri je and only if they accidentally view my blog, I hope they will read this post and really comprehend the meaning behind its content. This is my final words to you guys. And lastly, it would be much appreciated if you don't look for me anymore or don't think me as one of your best friends anymore because I will never believe the value of friendship you bring along with you when we meet again next time. So long.
    

companions

~Bismillah~

Yesterday... fuhh! Alhamdulillah...done with World Literature exam. One of the killing subjects I'm taking this semester. Should I elaborate more about the exam? Err... sangat sadis sebenarnya because I answered the first question wrongly! Again... careless mistake. I didn't read the instructions properly. Oh my Lord! I've lost 12 marks, terbang melayang macam tu je! Oh no!!!! What should I do, man? I told Kak Mei, "Kak Mei, I had mistakenly asnwered question number one! For the second part of question one, tak perasan langsung dia cakap except Tagore's. Macam mana, Kak Mei?" And Kak Mei was stunt, "Hei, dah bold dah ni!!! Ish! Ish! Ishi! (geram)." Oh no.... suddenly I felt like my heart stopped beating and the time stopped running. Hmmm.... what to do. My fault! Seriously. And when I told Kak Yusfa about my carelesness answering the first question, "Alah Zmah... Kak Mei mesti bagi punya markah. Dia takkan tak bagi langsung. Sebab dia lecturer kita. Dia dah bersama dengan kita sejak dari awal sem. Dia mesti faham punya. Lagipun, akak tak rasa jawapan Zmah semua tu salah. Ada yang betul tu dan ada kaitan dengan soalan." I hope Kak Yusfa was right. But what ever it is... it had passed and now I just need to focus on my next papers and tawakkal dekat Allah banyak-banyak! In sha Allah... Allah is full with mercy and Kak Mei will tolerate giving me good grades. Tapi macam manapun, like I always say to Kak Yusfa, "Ini semua exam dunia! Rileklah!" My principle is... do it for Allah and not for anything else.  Of course everyone wants to succeed and pass the exams with flying colours and no doubt I want to be one of those who'll grad with a scroll in my hand but.... if we do it for grades, dean's list or what so ever and not for Allah, to gain His blessings, it will be nothing! Zero! It will be useless and has no values at all! As long as we had struggled and put our efforts on it, just trust that even if we fail or succeed, we will satisfy for what ever Allah had given us in the end. In sha Allah, baek punya! (tetiba)


========================================


Yesterday night.... bagi menghilangkan segala tensi yang semakin memakan diri menjawab kertas pereksa yang menyeksakan tu, Kak Yusfa, En and I went to JJ Wangsa Maju. Our port. We went there just because we wanted to release our stress of answering the killing exams. So, our first destination was the food court. We bought sushi from the market and ate them there, at the food court. Sodap!!!


Sushi. Drinks. Our dinner meal for yesterday night. The three of us just love sushi very much! And once En said, "En teringin nak makan sushi pakai chopstick tapi tak reti." "Alah En... senang je. Bagi Zmahlah kan, kalau chopstick tebal macam dekat KLCC tu lagi susah nak guna. Dia kalau lagi nipis chopstick tu, lagi senang nak kepit makanan." "Ye ke, Zmah?" En looked very curious and interested. And I was like, "Betullll!!!!" Hehe. Full of enthusiasm. 


Kak Yusfa, En... they both are my best companions as long as I've been studying in IIUM and interestingly, all three of us got to know each other well since we all had joined in QYC. Kak Yusfa said, "Bagi akak kan, QYC ni memang satu anugerahlah buat akak sebab macam-macam benda akak belajar tentang erti kehidupan dalam QYC ni." And if you ask me, this is what I'll say about how I feel as long as I've been joining QYC so far, "Bagi Zmah pulak Zmah rasa QYC ni hadiah Allah buat Zmah bukan sebab kelab ni best. Kalau yang tu memang no doubtlah! Tapi... sebab dalam QYC lah Allah temukan Zmah dengan orang-orang yang baik yang Zmah boleh jadikan sahabat. Sahabat-sahabat yang Zmah jumpa dan menerima diri Zmah sebagai Zmah semua ada dalam QYC. Antaranya.... Kak Yusfa dan En sendiri..." Terharu tak?? Hehe.

Friends... we can find anywhere but good companions are rare to find. Only those who are selected by Allah deserve to be our companions until we end the journey. As for my companions, susah senang mereka memang akan ada bersama. Baik buruk saya mereka akan terima dengan rela hati. That's why I rather call them best companions than best friends. Just like Abu Bakar and Umar as our beloved Prophet's companions, Kak Yusfa and En Siyah Muhammad play the same role in my life.

I love them both for Allah.

:')

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Don't look back and never look back!



saya sayang ibu saya

~Bismillah~

Sabda Nabi SAW (maksudnya): "Redha Allah terletak redha kedua ibu bapa dan kemurkaan Allah terletak kepada kemurkaan kedua ibu bapa." 
(HR at-Tirmidzi)

Seorang lelaki bertemu dengan Nabi SAW lalu bertanya (maksudnya): "Bolehkah saya berjihad?" Nabi SAW bertanya: "Adakah kamu mempunyai ibu bapa?" Jawab lelaki tersebut: "Ya, ada." Maka Nabi SAW bersabd: "Berjihadlah kamu dengan menjaga keduanya."
(HR Bukhari)

Imam Bukhari meriwayatkan bahawa Abu Hurairah RA berkata (maksudnya): "Datang seorang lelaki bertanya kepada Rasulullah SAW: "Ya Rasulullah! Siapakah yang lebih berhak untuk aku melakukan kebaikan kepadanya?" Jawab Nabi SAW: "Ibumu." Dia bertanya lagi, "Siapa pula selepas itu?" Jawab Nabi: "Ibumu." Dia bertanya lagi: "Siapa pula selepas itu?" Jawab Nabi: "Ibumu." Dia bertanya lagi: "Siapa pula selepas itu?" Jawab Nabi: "Bapamu."


====================================


Kenapa susah sangat kita nak ambil telefon canggih kita, touch screen lagi tu untuk dail nombor ibu dan ayah kita; tanya khabar mereka, berborak dengan mereka, ajak mereka makan ke apa ke? Kalau kita duduk dekat, contoh, sesiapa yang belajar di UIA, kalau rumah dekat area-area Gombak jugak, susah sangat ke nak balik pergi jenguk sekejap mak dan ayah tu? Tengok mak dan ayah sihat ke tak, ada masalah ke tak dekat rumah. Ni tak. Apa yang kita utamakan ialah kerja kita berbanding orang tua kita yang dahagakan kasih sayang kita, yang dok asyik menunggu kita, merindukan kita.

Pernah seorang sahabat mengingatkan saya tentang rindu ibu bapa pada kita. Masa ni, kami di Nilai. Saya cakap dekat dia yang saya macam tak nak selalu sangat balik. Nak fokus studi. Kemudian, dia nasihatkan saya, "Zmah tau tak, kalau kita buat mak dengan ayah kita rindu lama-lama, kita berdosa tau. Boleh jatuh anak derhaka!" Nadhubillah. (Menangis kuat-kuat dalam hati)

Da'wah memanglah satu kewajipan. No matter what, we just can't run away from the responsibility. Tapi tanggung jawab kita pada orang tua kita tetap kita akan galas sampai kita mati. Nanti masa exam final di akhirat nanti, siap kena interview lagi dengan Allah dan kalaulah Allah cakap, "Ok. Engkau sangat bagus sebab engkau dah jalankan da'wah dan tanggung jawab engkau pada masyarakat engkau dengan baik sekali. But what about your parents? Apa yang engkau dah buat untuk membahagiakan ibu dan ayah engkau?" Haa.... masa ni dah tak ada dah nak garu-garu kepala ke atau pandang-pandang jeling-jeling orang sebelah tau. Apa kita nak jawab dengan Allah nanti bila semua tanggung jawab kita dah setel cuma tanggung jawab yang boleh tahan juga besarnya kita tak setel? Tanggung jawab pada orang tua! Apa alasan nak bagi dekat Allah nanti? Dan even kita ada alasan pun, ingat Allah nak terima ke? Ingat Allah nak redha ke? TAK! Allah takkan redha pada kita kalau ibu dan ayah kita sendiri tak redha dengan kita. Kan Nabi pun ah cakap dekat atas tu! Kenapalah kita n susah sangat nak faham????

Entahlah. Tapi ada satu je jawapannya.................. EGO.
Bila kita buat salah, sikit pun tak nak mengaku. Balik-balik, mak ayah juga yang kena mengalah.

(Terasa sungguh dhaifnya diriku ini. Terkenang segala kata-kata dan perbuatan yang pernah aku lakukan hingga pernah menyakiti hati mak)

Apalah sangat yang diminta dan diharapkan oleh seorang ibu selain kasih sayang dan perhatian dari anak-anaknya? Betullah kata orang. Seorang ibu mampu menjaga 10 orang anaknya, tapi 10 orang anak belum tentu mampu menjaga seorang ibu.

Dan saya kesal dengan diri saya sendiri kerana saat ini, saya masih belum dapat menjadi anak yang baik kepada ibu dan ayah saya. Wala macam mana pun, saya harap Allah masih memberi ruang kepada saya untuk memperbaiki kelemahan diri.


"Mak, Imah sayang mak!"

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Bulatan Cinta Kita-Outing

~Bismillah~

"Zmah, Zmah dah bersedia ke belum?" 
"Bersedia apa Kak Khaty?" 
"Bersedia nak bawak usrahlah." 
"Hmm... sebenarnya Zmah memang dah lama teringin nak bawak usrah sendiri... cuma Zmah tak sure Zmah dah bersedia ke tak nak bawak." 
"Alah... Zmah boleh punya. Akak tanya sebab kalau Zmah dah bersedia, akak nak serahkan anak-anak usrah akak dekat Zmah." 
"Hmmm... bolehlah kak. Zmah cuba mana yang mampu."

Jadi, Kak Khaty pun menyerahkanlah anak-anak usrahnya secara rasmi kepada saya, dengan dibantu oleh Kak Yusfa untuk dibimbing. Aichewah!

Mereka ialah...

Yam,
Ros,
Ida,
Mirah,
Shiela,
Syirah,
Raja
dan
Didi.

Mereka semua... sangat comel, sangat best dan sangat OSEM!
Semuanya jenis dengar kata dan respek kakak-kakak. Well, inilah hasil didikan Kak Khaty selama ni.
Selesai satu tugas! (terima kasih Kak Khaty!) Tugas seterusnya, bagaimana nak menyentuh hati mereka supaya mencintai usrah kami, yang diberi nama Bulatan Cinta Kita. 
Comel, kan? (macam orang-orangnya juga. hee) Almaklum sajalah... mereka ni semuanya tak kurang hebat jugak orang-orangnya. Masing-masing ada komitmen dalam kelab dan persatuan masing-masing. Kadang-kadang bila kesibukan datang menjengah, memang susah nak nampak muka time usrah. Kalau yang ni, saya faham sebab............... saya dulu pun macam tu. Sekurang-kurangnya mereka ni lebih baik dari saya sebab mereka ada sebab yang kukuh kenapa tak datang usrah. Tak macam saya yang dulu. Ponteng usrah dengan 1000 alasan! Tak percaya, tanya sajalah ex-ex naqibah saya. Mereka tahu semunya. 

Tapi... itu cerita lama ya. Buku baru dah lama dibuka. Dah nak tamat dah pun ceritanya.
Hehe.

Tapi semester ni.... semua sibuk. Saya tak adalah sibuk tapi sibuk jugalah sebab nak fokus.
Maklum sajalah... semester akhir. Batuk.

Tapi saya mengerti. Saat-saat macam ni, semua belum mampu nak bagi komitmen sepenuhnya pada Bulatan Cinta Kita. Jadi, saya ikut saja rentak mereka. Ada masa lapang, mereka tetap akan datang berbulatan cinta. Walau macam mana sibuk pun mereka, mereka tetap akan cari masa untuk datang. Kalau mereka tak datang, maksudnya, mereka memang betul-betul tak diizinkan untuk datang.

Saya faham.


================================================


Baru-baru ini, Bulatan Cinta Kita telah mengadakan Program Jalan-jalan KLCC tapi yang dapat hadir hanya tiga orang saja; Ros, Ida dan Shiela. Pun boleh! Daripada takde langsung, ya tak?
Mungkin, masanya pun tak sesuai. Masa revision week. Ada yang balik. Ada yang nak studi. Ada yang takde mood nak keluar. Ada yang ada program. 

Tapi.... alhamdulillah..... yang dapat hadir ni pun sudah cukup membahagiakan hati ini dan yang tak dapat hadir tu, tetap tersemai dalam hati dan rindu pada mereka masih dipendam hinggalah kini.
(Kak Zmah sedang berbasa-basilah ni)


Macam-macam ragam..... macam-macam perangai.... dalam LRT je dah tunjuk kerenah masing-masing....
Haiii.... boleh tahan jugak bebudak ini.... tengolah siapa Nek Gurunya pulak.
Hehe.
 
Berusrah sebentar dalam masjid al-Syakirin. Main game "truth or lie?" dan................
bertukar-bertukar hadiah!
Tapi sebelum tu.... curhat-curhat dulu. Ngeeee..... :D
Dan dalam sesi curhat-curhat tu, semua kena cakap pasal apa yang mereka tahu tentang diri si pemberi hadiah..... dan orang yang menerima hadiah daripada saya ialah... Shiela!

.......... dan kata-kata Shiela tentang diri saya......:

"Mula-mula dulu, sebelum kenal Kak Zmah, saya ingat Kak Zmah ni sombong. Sebab muka Kak Zmah masam je lepas tu macam garang. Memang takut nak tegur. Tapi bila dah kenal, dan berusrah sekali, baru tahu yang Kak Zmah ni baik dan peramah sebenarnya orangnya."

Errkkkk!

Dan saya cakap, "Shiela, tu bukan pertama kali akak dengar orang cakap yang akak ni sombong dan garang." Kami ketawa.

And here comes the peak session of our outing! Photo shooting di Taman KLCC!


OUTING BULATAN CINTA KITA MEMANG OSEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
(exaggeratenya....)


Saya sayang anak-anak saya dan saya sayangkan Bulatan Cinta Kita.
Mungkin masa ni kita tak dapat kumpul beramai-ramai kerana masing-masing mempunyai kekangan dan halangan masing-masing. Tapi saya percaya bahawa suatu hari nanti, kita dapat berkumpul juga.

Bulatan Cinta Kita's next destination will be...

KFC Medan Idaman... celebrating Kak Khaty's birthday. In sha Allah.
May Allah ease everything.

p/s: Yam, Raja, Mirah, Syirah, Didi... kita jumpa masa tu, ok?

May Allah bless our ukhuwah.
:')

Incidents

~Bismillah~

Today, was  my first paper. EAW. Oh man! It was soooooooooo easyyyyyyy until I can barely describe how eaaaaaaasy it was! Seriously (this is so pretending!). Alhamdulillah, I'm glad I had done with my first paper. The questions were okay but I don't think I did my best for the last part coz I didn't really understand what the question really wanted me to do. So, I just "bismillahirrahmanirrahim... puuhh!!!" and my right hand got the blue pen and continued writing. In my heart, "Tawakkal je Zmah!" So, yeah, I did it. Smile.

#Incident 1

We started our exam quite late. At about 3.05 pm. Actually, we were supposed to start at 3 pm sharp but the instructor who were giving instructions before the examination started just couldn't stay away from the mic. Oh, my gosh, she just love the mic so much. To prove, she babbled so much before we could start answering the exam questions. She had wasted our time! So she merely said, "... seems we started at 3.05, so you will stop answering at 5.05" and I was like, "What the???? Dia yang cakap banyak-banyak sampai drag masa lepas tu tak pasal-pasal kita pulak yang kena keluar dewan lambat. Aisshh, jija!" What to do. I'm not sure what nationality she holds but better not Malaysian. It would be a shame not because I hate her or what. I just can't agree with people who are not punctual and like to drag other people's time. Seriously, I'm allergic with these kind of people. (You better watch out!) In the middle of examination, she went to the mic again and made a few announcements until we (me, especially) started to feel distracted by her voice. As a result, I lost my focus answering the questions. Ada je benda dia nak buat announcement. Memang tak boleh lepas dari mic tu. A few minutes later, ada lagi announcement. Oh my Allah! Patience Zmah... patience... (fuhh!) Even when we had finished answering all questions, she asked us to wait for a few minutes. Err... let me get this straight... not for a few minutes but for about almost half an hour we waited in the hall and did nothing! Aiyyooo.... sabo... sabo... 

#Incident 2

While asyik answering the exam questions, suddenly someone's hand phone was ringing at the back of the main hall and it rang and rang and rang and rang, singing a song which was quite unfamiliar to me (never heard that song before). When it was silent, I was like, "alhamdulillah... bolehlah aku fokus." Suddenly, out of nowhere, it rang again and again and again and again.................... until I started to feel irritated by that song. Luckily I wasn't the only one who was annoyed by the song. My 'neighbors' also felt the same way. If I could, I would like to get up from my seat and go search for the phone, took it and.................. PANG! (macam bunyi penampar je) until the phone broke into pieces (oh, that's the wicked side of Wan Hazimah. lol) Fortunately such thing didn't happen in the hall. Tak pasal-pasal aku yang kena tendang keluar dari dewan exam. But the strange thing was the invigilators didn't bother about the phone ringing. They just didn't care the ringtone of the phone interrupting us and broke our focus while answering the questions. Oh, Allah, what's happening to the world! Again.... Zmah... be patient.... everything will go back to normal and the hand phone will shut its speaker up soon and thank Allah, it did. Pheww! Then and only then, I could stay focus towards the end of the exam period.

Truthfully, this is the first time I had ever experienced such incidents in my whole life while taking a big examination in a big hall like this. Did they purposely happen because I will be graduating soon? Yelah, it's like He wants me to remember a few incidents or events that are meaningful (though not so meaningful) so that I can remember it forever in my life before I leave IIUM soon? (tiba-tiba sebak)

Maybe.

:P

p.s. Let's be ready for the next paper, which is the day after tomorrow-World Literature. Pray for me luvs!

Monday, 27 May 2013

emo emo emo tak habis habis nak EMO!

~Bismillah~

Yup. Emo. That's the title of this post for tonight. Actually, tomorrow is a big day for me! What day? It's my first day of final examination! Hari penentuan! And here I am. Still blogging while revising. Seriously, I can't do one work at one time. Meaning, I have to do more. I don't know why but it's just me! Well, I'm a multitasker. That's how my Lord had created me and I'm grateful for it. Lol. So, please please please allow  me to blog just for the last time before I put my 100% focus on my study. Please! Please! Please! Okay. Back to our topic. Emo. What about it? I'm not sure whether or not you had come across my previous post about the arguments I had with my mother about my ambition, about what I'd like to become in the future. I bet no, you didn't. Thank goodness! Thank you for not reading it but for those who had read it, I have a confession to make. So, listen up! Eh silap. So, read up! That wasn't me! I mean, of course that was me who wrote the post and published it but what I meant was I wasn't in the state of rational when I was writing the post. Seriously! You might not want to believe this but honestly speaking this is what happening when a girl or in my case, a lady or a woman (I should say) in the state of ABC. So, I would like to apologise especially to my mother for being too emotional almost about everything and expressed it in my blog. Well, I bet that's not supposed to be done by a graduating student like me. Hello! I'm already 23. I'm a big girl now. So I should act how a 23 year-old lady is supposed to act. I need to remove all my childish character and start to be a lady-like, which means I need to act maturely from now on. Shame on me if I write something pertaining to my feelings in my blog. I bet no one would want to read it (walaupun haku tahu tiada siapa yang mahu atau sudi atau membaca blog haku ini). However, I shall write something more beneficial or in Malay sesuatu yang berisi so that it will not just benefit me alone, but all people out there (bagi sesiapa yang terbaca blog inilah ya). Again, I'm so sorry for the childish post but I promise such thing won't happen again in the future. Okay. Let's get back to my study. Tomorrow is my first paper. Do pray for me! Thank you for dropping by and chiow!

*Revising while listening to Lite FM. English songs are coming into my ears and flowing straight away to my brain. Oh, I really hope this will help me improve my English, in a way. Good night luvs!

"Two secrets on how I improve my English language skills..." says Aiman Azlan



"My secrets are..........................."

#exposure#
#practice#

-Aiman Azlan-


Oh... I just love the second one. Practice! Practice! Practice!
"Practice makes perfect"
.......................... and the word does apply...........................

What ever language you're learning, exposure and practice are two important elements you should implement in your learning process. To master a language, you need to be a part of it. Think you are them, the native people of that language (in other words, master their culture as well). Then, you start speaking the language with others. Use the language as much as you can. It helps!

Happy try!
=P

Pelangi


ditangkap semasa on the way ke kedai runcit

pelangi yang indah
datang menyapa hati tatkala diri teringatkan dia
rindu yang bersarang di hati
diubati dengan kehadirannya
terima kasih sang pelangi
kerana hadir pada saat-saat hati berat
menanggung rindu yang tidak berbalas

:')

Adik 2

~Bismillah~



Sorang lagi adik saya. Heikal. Dia pun sahabat baik Hafiz semasa di Al-Amin dulu. Pemalu tapi peramah. Zaim pun sayang sangat dekat Heikal ni. Setiap kali berhubung dengan saya, dia tak pernah lupa tanya perihal Hafiz. "Akak, Hafiz macam mana sekarang?" "Akak, Hafiz studi dia macam mana?" Akak, Hafiz apa khabar?" Haii... sayang betul dia dekat sahabat dia ni. Saya sebagai kakak, sangatlah terharu sebab adik saya dikelilingi kawan-kawan yang baik. Heikal rajin berkongsi cerita dan masalah dengan saya. Kalau dah namanya macam adik-beradik, memang banyaklah cerita yang dikongsikan. Kadang-kadang rasa terharu sebab diri ini masih ada yang mencari untuk meluahkan segala rasa hati. Heikal memang dah lama kenal dengan Kak Zimah dia ni ha. Saya mula rapat dengan Heikal sejak dia rapat dengan Hafiz jugak. Nak buat macam mana. Adik-adik saya ni dua-dua lelaki. Nak jaga mereka, kenalah tahu dengan siapa mereka berkawan. Maklumlah, saya seorang je kakak mereka yang belum kahwin jadi, saya kena jaga mereka betul-betul. Ambil tahu apa kegiatan mereka kat luar semuanya melalui spy spy saya ni ha. Hehehe. 

Heikal yang pakai topi merah tu :P

Semoga Heikal terus bertabah dan berjuang untuk meraih kejayaan yang diimpikan.
Kak Zmah takkan pernah lupa adik-adik akak dan sentiasa doakan kejayaan kamu semua.

All the best for Heikal jugak!

;)

Adik

~Bismillah~



His name is Azrai. 18 years-old. Just finished his SPM and now is waiting to enroll in the university. He's got UiTM Puncak Alam. Not sure in what course. He is my brother's (Hafiz) best friend in the neighborhood and he is also our best neighbor. Never forgets to visit our house during the Hari Raya. Emak always says to me, "Mak rasakan... Azrai tu... baik sangat..." and I replied to my mom's saying, "... pandai mak ayah dia didik dia kan mak..." and Emak agreed with me. I still remember during the last Hari Raya, he visited our house as usual (just all by himself) and that was the first time I had a long conversation with him (Hafiz was not at home when Azrai came). When talking to him, memang terasa sangat kebaikan dia melalui kesopanan dan ketertiban tutur katanya (aichewah!). Yup, he's a very sopan santun boy. In these modern days, it's very hard to find a boy as modest as him. Would it be because he's the youngest in the family? Could be but of course that's not the major factor! Hehe. Boleh dikatakan I knew him since he was very small and he's just like my own brother. I love him just like I love my other brothers, Hafiz and Zaim. (No romantic feelings ya!). And I more admire him because he's a very good friend of Hafiz and he's always there for Hafiz when Hafiz got no one to lepak with or to talk to. He's such a good boy.

Azrai is my adik and as adik, he's always layan je this kakak of him, especially when it comes to photo shooting. Yup! When we meet, we never forget to snap photos together. As kenang-kenangan.

All the best for him! 

Allah Selamatkan Kamu 27.05.2013

~Bismillah~

Nik Khatijah Nik Mud aka Nick Khaty Da Witty... hmm... what is the story behind these beautiful names?

 She is my sister, but not biological sister. Mind you! But she's still my sister forever (wink)
Well... at first, we barely knew each other. All I know about Kak Khaty was she's Kak Aan's bff and she was a QYCian (of course!). Wherever I went, there must be the two of them (berdua lebih baik. aha!). In Malay, they are just like belangkas. Cannot be separated. They're like complimenting each other. Without Kak Aan, it would feel strange if Kak Khaty was not beside. "Mana Kak Khaty, Kak Aan?" Kak Aan would be like, "Dia ada keje. Kak Aan sorang je ni." Peliknya! And vice versa.


The first time we knew each other was when we had to cooperate in the "Kronologi Cinta" play. Kak Khaty was the director and I was the actress. The very first moment I saw Kak Khaty, my heart babbled, "Kak Khaty ni masam je muka dia. Tak reti nak senyum ke?!" I always thought Kak Khaty was an arrogant person until then I know it's not that she's been arrogant to people but that's her true self like she always says to me, "Akak memang macam nilah Zmah. Akak memang bukan starter." Okay. Understood. That's Kak Khaty. Cannot change anymore. Hehe.


And... the most thing I paling geram dengan Kak Khaty ni masa mula-mula kenal dulu was when she didn't satisfy with our acting (Kak Chuma's and mine). At that time, I was like, "Cuba kalau Kak Khaty sendiri yang berlakon! Baru Kak Khaty faham betapa susahnya nak menghayati watak dalam lakonan ni!!!" (Alamak... exaggeratenya). 

When Kak Chuma and I kept on forgetting our lines, Kak Khaty seemed to be angry with us. Then, she scolded, "Haa... eloklah tu! Teruskanlah macam tu!" Then, she just walked away to the Exit leaving me and Kak Chuma terpinga-pinga. "What's wrong with Kak Khaty?!" my heart babbled again. "Kak Chuma, Zmah rasa Kak Khaty tak puas hati je dengan lakonan kita..." and Kak Chuma responded, "Tulah. Nampak sangat dia tak puas hati." Sedih gile kot!

Hehe... I was exaggerating again... but that was a long time a ago...


As time passed by... I got to know who the real Kak Khaty is. 

One fine day (chewah!), after a few days Kronologi Cinta had been performed, I asked Kak Khaty to lepak at one of the places where we always had our training and the place was in the Engineering Auditorium A. There, I lepak with Kak Khaty for hours, getting to know each other (dengan lebih dekat lagi) and most interestingly, we acted together for our next play "Bawang Putih Bawang Merah" where I played Bawang Putih role and Kak Khaty was the wicked stepmother. Tak sangka Kak Khaty pandai gile berlakon! I was so excited when the first time I saw Kak Khaty acted on the small stage. She was so talented playing a stepmother role! Haha.

Then... the climax of the day was...

"Kak Khaty, Zmah nak tanya something boleh tak?" "Apa dia? Tanya jelah." While writing on the board, "Apa pendapat Kak Khaty tentang Zmah?" Without hesitation, Kak Khaty replied, "Pertama, akak rasa Zmah ni matang.... kedua, Zmah ni starter... bla bla bla...."
Hehe... I never thought Kak Khaty would be that open when we ask for her opinions about something.

This is where our friendship began...



Bagi saya, Kronologi Cinta ni sangatlah unik and I feel very lucky for being selected as one of the actors. Not because I would be well-known among the IIUM students for involving in a play (organized by QYC pulak tu), but because from Kronologi Cinta, I got to know and got closed with many nice people, especially Kak Khaty, Kak Chuma, Amir, Bangca (Sustra), Kak Wani, Kak Ida... and we became bffs even until today. For me, this is the best gift I ever received from my Lord and I will treasure it until my last breath. 


Actually, this post is written specially to celebrate Kak Khaty's birthday, which is TODAY! 
Happy Birthday Kak Khaty! May Allah grant His blessings on you today, tomorrow and always!

I love you forever in my life.
Forgive me for all the tacing2 things. 
Hehe.

In friendship... three things are important and they make friendship the most beautiful thing is this world:
trust, honesty and acceptance.

May Allah bless our friendship.

p.s.: Kak Khaty, this is for you, on your meaningful day. Hope you like it.

;) 

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Eyes

~Bismillah~

What would my life be without a pair of eyes? A pair of eyes is the most beautiful and precious gift from Allah to all His creations, especially to us, human beings. What would our life be without having a pair of eyes to see things? Without eyes, how can we view the beautiful creations of Allah? Without eyes, how can we look at the faces of our loved ones? Without eyes, how can we survive? But lately, my healthy eyes are being tested. It had been pressured by... I'm not sure by what. I were given two bottles of eye drops from my doctor to release the pain my eyes have been suffering from since the last Monday. My mom said, it's probably because I have been sleeping very late every night or it could also because I love to stay in front of my Asou for the whole night until my eyes got tired and started to feel the pain. O Allah... please heal my eyes. Seriously, I don't wanna lose them. They are so meaningful to me. Please...


Eyes aching. Two bottles of eye drops ready. 2 drops per bottle per eye. Slowly close both eyes. Sleep.

Good night!

Karaoke













Karaoke... salah satu cara untuk merapatkan bonding antara family members.
Adik saya, Hafiz ni susah sangat nak keluar jalan-jalan dengan kami. Tapi kalau sekali kita ajak dia keluar dan buat sesuatu yang dia suka, rasa seronok pulak. 
Antara benda-benda yang dia suka macam... tengok wayang, karaoke, snooker, bowling...
First time berduet dengan Hafiz. Lagu "Ombak Rindu."
Dan first time dengar suara Hafiz menyanyi. Sedap sangat! Hafiz dah hensem sekarang! Macho seyh!
Bila saya menyanyi, "Kak Chik, lepaslah suara tu! Janganlah tahan!"
Amboi... jadi guru vokal kakak dia pulak sekarang. Hehehe.
Banyak belajar dari Hafiz tentang nyanyian dan tak sangka Hafiz layan je kakak dia ni praktis vokal suara.


Kenangan terindah hari ini. Berkaraoke bersama kekasih hati, Wan Hafizuddin.
Plus, Puan Nanny Zai. Hehe. Nak jugak.

;)


Terakhir




Berbekalkan carry mark yang... (tak tahu nak jelaskan macam mana)... beserta usaha, doa dan pengharapan yang tinggi hanya kepada Allah taala, in sha Allah, saya akan buat yang terbaik untuk saat-saat terakhir kali memegang gelaran mahasiswa UIAM dalam peringkat Ijazah Sarjana Muda Sains Kemanusiaan, pengkhususan Bahasa dan Kesusasteraan Inggeris.

Doakan saya ya!


Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Dalam tangisan rindu




Satu-satunya kenangan yang tak dapat saya lupakan sepanjang saya berada dalam QYC ialah penglibatan saya dalam biro Publication and Information (PNI) atau nama barunya QYC Media Team.

Sungguh, ni merupakan kenangan termanis saya dalam QYC.
Saya sayang QYC tapi saya sayang PNI lebih lagi.

Tak lama lagi saya akan grad. Saya akan meninggalkan UIA, QYC dan... PNI/Media.
Haru sungguh! Tapi itulah hakikat yang harus ditelan.

Dalam tangisan saya... ada rindu yang tersemat pada biro PNI.
Saya rindukan biro PNI.


Gathering pertama biro PNI (2011/2012)

:')


Hidup ini

~Bismillah~

Sometimes life can be so funny and even the people itself are even funnier. If I were given a chance, I would like to tell the world about how I feel being a human created by Allah. If I were given a permission, I would like to scream so that all creatures in this world could hear my voice pouring out everything I've been kept inside my heart for so long. If I were brave, I would like to be honest to everyone about each and every single story I had been through with the wrong people; how many time I fell before I reached the peak of success. If I were given the extraordinary power, I would like to gather all the tears that had been streaming down my face and pour it into as many glasses as I can collect. This symbolizes the number of times my heart had been broken and deeply hurt by those bunch of people who were never sensitive about my feelings as a woman. If I were asked, "Zmah, if you were given a chance to go back to the past, what would you do?" I would say, "I would amend everything I had done and I would make sure that my heart is only mine. I would never ever let the guys touch or even steal it from me without my consent."  But... these are not possible, aren't they? Even if Doraemon exists and created his so-called 'mesin cahaya masa,' I can never go back to the past and have the capability of fixing things up because it's beyond my control. And truthfully, the only One who who possibly unquestionably do that is Allah alone. But still... such thing will never happen because the Law of Nature had stated that "what has done is done and what has passed is passed." The past is passed and it never returns. We can never earn back things that had escaped from our hands.

Manusia ni bermacam ragam dan perangai. Macam kain. Ada macam-macam warna dan corak. Dan sememangnya citarasa manusia pun berbeza-beza mengikut karakter yang Allah dah corakkan dalam diri masing-masing. Tak dapat dinafikan bahawa setiap personaliti manusia itu ada keunikan dan kelebihan tersendiri yang kadang bisa membuat manusia lain tersenyum dan tertawa dengan telatahnya. Keunikan dan kelebihan itulah juga yang selalunya membuat hati manusia lain terhibur dari segala kesepiana dan kedukaan yang datang menghantui diri. Bila menyaksikan itu, hati mulalah memuji-muji kuasa Maha Pencipta. "Hebatnya Allah! Menciptakan manusia dengan sikap yang berbeza-beza. Itulah baru namanya manusia ni saling lengkap-melengkapi." Senyum. Hati manusia mana yang tak nak mengakui keagungan kuasa yang Maha Esa. Tak ada satu pun yanag terkurang atau tercacat. Betul manusia ni semua sama tapi sama di mata Allah. Di mata manusia lain, kita semua berbeza sebenarnya. Apa yang nak diperkatakan di sini ialah kadang-kala dengan karakter yang berbeza-beza inilah yang membuat kita sedih dan letih. Letih melayan bermacam-macam kerenah hanya sebab ingin memuaskan hati mereka semua tanpa sedikit pun endah dengan hati diri sendiri. Dengan pandangan pertama, tampak kelihatannya seperti "Bodohnya aku! Apsallah aku ni suka sangat jaga perasaan orang lain sedangkan orang tu langsung tak pernah nak jaga perasaan aku!" Hati mulalah merungut. Itu tak kena. Ini tak kena. Penyebabnya, karakter manusia yang berbeza-beza itu. Nama pun manusia. Fitrahnya lemah. Tak mampu sebenarnya nak berdiri di kaki sendiri bila bercakap soal hati dan perasaan. Kalaulah di sekolah atau universiti, ada subjek yang dinamakan subjek "Hati dan Perasaan," pasti ramai yang akan gagal subjek ni dalam peperiksaan. Sebab soal hati dan perasaan ni terlalu abstrak dan cara mempelajarinya amat mudah, iaitu melalui pengalaman. Tanpa pengalaman, jangan bermimpi ingin lulus subjek hati dan perasaan ni. Kita perlu merasainya, melaluinya... tak kisahlah sama ada melalui pengalaman sendiri atau dari pengalaman orang lain. In sha Allah kita mampu mengerti dan lulus dengan cemerlangnya! Tapi bula bercakap soal hati dan perasaan ni, hati ni bertambah-tambah sakit dan pedih. Terbayang satu persatu wajah orang-orang yang pernah mempermainkan dan menyakiti hati ini pada suatu masa dahulu. Setiap hari cuba  untuk memaafkan mereka tapi bila terkenang kesalahan mereka, hati kembali menjadi sekeras batu. Maafkan diri ini, bukan tak mahu, hanya tak mampu.

Want to stop but want write more.
Again this is another fitrah of human beings. Never satisfied for what he or she had done.
Sentiasa nak lebih. Tapi untuk malam ini, setakat ni dulu, luahan rasa.

*Let's study for the finals!

Mood Kawen-Kak Uda's Wedding in memory

~Bismillah~


Jadi pengapit Kak Uda

Saya, (si pengapit), Kak Long (pengantin lama) & Kak Uda (pengantin baru yang dah lama) 

We are the Three Beauties!

Malam pernikahan

Say cheese everyone!

Abg Long (abang ipar), Kak Uda, Kak Wan (cousin) & Kak Long


Rindu saat rumah ada majlis besar-besaran macam ni...
^__^


... just a simple say...

~Bismillah~

It's been a long time. I know. I apologise for not updating this blog for so long. So many things to share but just don't know how to put it into words. Plus, I've no skill in arranging or should I say organizing points in a correct order. That's my weakness! However, I would like to express myself here. Can I? Actually, the emotion that is overpowering me right now is... no feeling at all! Before this, yes I admit that tears is my best companion. Everyday she's with me. Day and night. Streaming down my cheeks and turned it into a wet cushion. Come one Zmah! This is totally a very ridiculous analogy you can use! Never mind. My other weakness is showing. Unlike my best friend Ali, I'm poor in using the right analogy or metaphor to describe or explain something. But I do learn a lot about making the appropriate analogies from Ali. Thanks to him though. Speaking about Ali, I wonder why did him deactivate his FB account. Something might have had happened to him but I just don't know what it is. Oh, my that shows what type of friend you are Zmah! How embarrassing! Never mind again. He might not want me to busybody about his life and I've already retired from the position of a "busybody girl" who always want to know about other people's life without it benefits me at all. What a waste! But... I should say this that truthfully, I learned a lot from people's lives and experiences. So, I could say it did benefit me somehow. Apa-apa jelah Zmah! Nampak sangat kau dah mengantuk sekarang sebab kau dah start melalut! By the way, please allow me to say something before I go to slumber. Sebenarnya... I'm remembering someone... I know I'm not supposed to and I've not rights at all to remember that person but... it happened all of a sudden! We had lost contact for months. I unfriended the person in FB and blocked the person's account. Well, I purposely did that because I know it's all what the person wanted and mind you that I just did what the person really wanted me to do and I'm just granting the person's wish. Senang cite... saya hanya ikut rentak dia. That's all! I satisfied for what I had done but deep down inside... I am actually hurt. Not really sure due to what. It's either due to the person's acts or my owns. Ya Allah... this is very tough for me but everyday I keep struggling. Try my best to appreciate those people who still want me in their lives and love me with all their heart and I've been counting the days. May the best day of my life come so soon. Just both of us. Just me and "him," my Mr. Right. My Prince Charming. Letting go of the past memories which keep sadden me. I believe in Allah's fate. And I trust that he's the one whom Allah had fated for me. May Allah guide me and us.

Memang tengah mood kawen sangat sekarang ni =)

Nothing much to write actually but it just came naturally without I planning. 
Just a simple say "I'll be the best for my Prince and for everyone I love." ;)

Good night, luves!

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Perkongsian Baitul Muslim


~Bismillah~

Apa khabar pembaca? Maaf sebab sudah agak lama tak berblog. Nak kata busy, tak juga. Nak kata tak ada idea untuk menulis pun tak juga. Idea sentiasa mengalir dalam minda cuma tak tahu nak menyusunnya saja dan kerana ketiadaan mood untuk berblog. Malam ni pula, sepatutnya mengulangkaji untuk subjek-subjek yang akan diuji tak lama lagi. Tapi... mood nak studi juga belum tiba. Walaupun masih banyak yang perlu dikaver, tapi... tulah... hati belum terbuka untuk mentelaah semula ilmu-ilmu yang diwariskan para pensyarah. Ya Allah... Hazimah... bertaubatlah... exam nak dekat kot! Dan tiba-tiba malam ni insomnia balik. Tak boleh tidur. Sejak beberapa hari asyik kena tindih je dengan makhluk Allah yang sangat unik tu, jadi trauma nak tidur malam. Tapi tak apa. Rasanya dia dah tak kacau dah. Tapi, bagi mengisi masa yang ada ni, saya nak kongsikan dengan anda semua tentang sedikit inti sari daurah Baitul Muslim anjuran IKRAM baru-baru ni. Saya tak dapat hadir ke daurah tersebut sebab migrain teruk. Jadi, apa yang saya kongsikan di sini ialah bukan apa yang saya dengar dari daurah tu ya, tapi pengisian daripada Ukhti Nadia Ruslim, salah seorang muwajih daurah tersebut. Saya petik daripada post FB salah seorang akhawat di page group kami. 

Selamat membaca dan semoga bermanfaat untuk semua!


Perkongsian Baitul Muslim

Perkongsian BM by Nadia Rusli ^_^
1st,apa itu BM?baitul muslim= rumah tangga islam. n antara obejktif nya =
1. mengetahui cara mencari jodoh mengikut syariat. knapa? sebab perkahwinan kita adalah sepanjang hayat.penggunaan orang tengah sebagai pemudah cara untuk mencari yang sekufu,etc.tp,sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui.

2. mengetahui cara menjaga hubungan bersama bakal pasangan sebelum berkahwin.permulaan yg baik,inshaAllah pengakhirannya nnt pun baik. 

3. membentuk pemikiran yang betul terhadap institusi perkahwinan.

4. mengetahui dan memahami fitrah lelaki & perempuan. perempuan ada 9 emosi,1 rasional. lelaki ada 9 rasional, 1 emosi. so, kita perlu faham fitrah masing-masing. that's y we complete each other.sebagai isteri,kita perlu more to 'action'.perlunya kita kpd memahami dan melengkapi each other sebab perkahwinan ini ada matlamat yang lebih besar selain dr melahirkan zuriat etc, iaitu mendapat keredhaan Allah.

5. pendedahan berkenaan skill komunikasi dan pengurusan kewangan sebelum bernikah. kebahagiaan bermula dengan komunikasi yang baik,dalam ape2 situasi pun kita perlu jujur. dan belajar menerima.





-----------
pak cik n ibu yus tekankan jugak, support keluarga sgt penting. sebab banyak perkara yg perlu kita consider after marriage. dalam apa2 situasi,jangan membelakangkan keluarga.dan dan proses ni adalah untuk pilihan yang lebih mendekati syariat.

and ada sikit penerangan untuk proses baitul muslim.
1. kalau belum ada calon,isi borang BM
2. bermula sesi taaruf oleh pic BM
3. setuju,kemudian ada sesi perbincangan ahli keluarga

*solat istikharah yang betul2 ikhlas adalah sangat penting,kena selalu berdoa ++ istisyarah dgn akak naqibah/ahli usrah/ keluarga bagi yang mampu pula,jangan tangguh.

----------

3 things we marry:EXPECTATIONS
1. who she/he really is?
2. who he/she becomes after marriage?
3. after 5 years berkahwin,semua perangai sebenar akan keluar. that time, just focus on the +ve side.inshaAllah kita perlu faham,perkahwinan bukan sekadar nikmat tetapi ujian---sebab nikmat syurga itu tak semudah2nya boleh dapat

----------

Ada beberapa pertanyaan yang menarik tadi:

situasi 1:
kebiasaannya akan ada ahli keluarga yang bercakap2 tentang duit hantaran, atau keadaan yang memaksa kita untuk perlu bersanding/ make-up everythings yang melanggar syariat.

jawapannya:
mana yang mampu kita raikan,kita raikan. KECUALI yang tak ikut syariat.

situasi 2:
ada jugak pertanyaan yang semestinya ke ikhwah berkahwin dengan akhwat?

jawapannya:
meluas td. ada banyak pengalaman etc. ada yang lepas berkahwin 2 2 aktif,dgn daawah ade yg tak. ade yang boleh bawa suami/isteri masuk dalam tarbiyyah. etc. apa2 pun isteri wajib mendengar kata suami. xde situasi yng menjamin kita istiqamah dalam daawah n tarbiyyah. semuanya terletak pd diri kita. kne sentiasa perbetulkan niat, dan clear kan matlamat kita selepas berkahwin.

situasi 3:
masa bila waktu yang terbaik untuk umumkan walimah?

jawapannya:
depends.sebaik2nya sebulan awal.kalau beritahu pun pada teman2 yg rapat dan boleh dipercayai. kalau katakan (nauzubillah) ada permasalahan dsb,maka tak lah ada perkara yg mengaibkan. wallahualam

+++ and banyak lg persoalan lain.

ada jugak yg tanya,mcm mana nak tahu itu jawapan istikharah?

ada 3 jawapan istikharah:
1. melalui mimpi. tp yg ni perlu sgt hati-hati. boleh jadi ia dtg dr syaitan/ kecenderungan kita sendiri

2. perkara2 yg berlaku mcm Allah lead kan kita ke arah tu. "something yang berlaku, menghalakan kita ke 'arah' tu" pendek kata mcm , Allah permudahkan je jalan tu

3. hati kita sendiri 

wallahualam.sedikit perkongsian kenapa penting nya baitul daawah.


Sunday, 12 May 2013

Selamat pulang ke medan perjuangan


Kenangan mengundi dengan Kak Uda di SK Gombak Setia

(Ringtone KRU 'Wanita'. Menyanyi-nyanyi KRU dalam Se Ryong aku. Cepat-cepat aku angkat.)

Ada suara mak cik ni. "Assalamualaikum! Anyo sayo!"
Aku, "MAKAN SAYO!"

Dia ketawa kecil. Kami sama-sama ketawa. Kemudian, borak-borak sikit. Tiba-tiba...

"... dik, dik! Nanti Kak Uda call balik."
Aku, "Kenapa?"
"Kak Uda dalam lift ni. Takut mati. Tak ada line."
Aku, "Ok, ok."

(Beberapa minit kemudian, KRU nyanyi lagi. Aku capai Se Ryong aku. Masa tu tengah rancak berborak dengan Kak Yusfa.)

"MAKAN SAYO!" Eksited Kak Uda call balik.

Kak Uda gelak. Sambung balik borak. Pasal aku tengah buat. Pasal exam aku akan datang ni. Pasal graduasi aku dan pasal masa depan aku.

Tiba-tiba lagi...

"Dik, dik, Kak Uda call balik kejap lagi."
"La... kenapa pulak ni...." belum sempat menghabiskan bicara....
"Ok, bai!" Terus telefon dimatikan.

Esoknya, hari Kak Uda berlepas ke Cairo... aku menunggu beberapa minit. Kot-kotlah Kak Uda nak call balik. Beberapa jam telah berlalu dan Se Ryong aku tak menyanyi. Aku hampa. Macam nak menangis pun ada. Kak Uda tak call. Dalam hati dah siap mengutuk. 

Tiba-tiba lagi dan lagi... lebih kurang nak dekat-dekat jam 10 pagi, iaitu waktu Kak Uda berlepas... Se Ryong aku beeping...

1 message received
"Mek, nak balik dah. Boboi."

Sayu hati. Nak nangis!

Another 1 message received
"Love ya!"

Aku reply, "Take care! Love you more!"

... dan aku menangis selepas itu...

Kepada Kak Uda, mungkin anda akan nak termuntah baca post yang entah apa-apa ni... tapi ketahuilah aku memang sentiasa emo macam ni...

Selamat meneruskan perjuangan!
Love you sista!

Thursday, 9 May 2013

He's the one



He's the one... he's the only.... he's our real Muslim leader... and loved by most Malaysians,
regardless of any races and tribes...
May Allah bless his good intention in fighting for the rights of his people.

Bak kata salah seorang pengomen video Datuk Seri Anwar,
"Anwar adalah Tunku Abdul Rahman masa kini."
Yup, I agree.

;)

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