Cerita Hati (satu)

Salam.


Kata orang jangan happy-happy sangat, nanti ada yang menangis.
Kata orang jangan sayang-sayang sangat, nanti jadi benci.
Kata orang jangan rindu-rindu sangat, nanti buat sakit diri sendiri.

Kata orang lagi, hidup ni ta lengkap tanpa ujian.
Memang betul. Saya sangat setuju.
Tapi adakalanya kita, selaku manusia yang lemah ni, memang tak boleh lari dari rungutan, kan?
Asyik nak merungut je. Allah uji sikit, dah mengeluh. Allah duga sikit, dah nak mengamuk.

Sejak aku lalui beberapa 'persinggahan' dalam hidup aku, makin banyak benda yang aku belajar dari
mereka semua. Alhamdulillah, boleh jugak dikatakan 'berkawan' dengan mereka telah menjadi diriku semakin
matang dalam 'hal-hal begini.'

Kalau dulu, aku sering meminta nasihat orang lain setiap kali mengalami masalah 'seperti ini,'
namun kini orang pula yang datang kat aku untuk berkongsi masalah yang sama dan meminta nasihat daripadaku. Sungguh aku rasa sangat dihargai.
Tak sangka, orang yang pernah gagal dalam 'subjek' itu juga boleh menjadi kaunselor yang baik
kepada orang lain. Maaf, tiada unsur riak di situ ya.

Tapi, macam saya cakap tadi.
Kita semua manusia biasa. Walau sehebat manapun seoran kaunselor tu, selagi
dia bergelar manusia, yang dianugerahkan hati dan beberapa lapis emosi, akan ada juga
sedikit kelemahan dalam mengharungi dugaan hidup.

Walaupun saya bolehlah dikatakan sangat expert dalam 'subjek' itu dan sering memberikan  buah fikiran
sendiri yang tak berapa nak masak ni pada teman-teman saya yang menghadapi masalah tentangnya,
tapi saya masih dapat rasakan yang saya masih perlu buat 'banyak latihan' lagi supaya
saya dapat tingkatkan lagi kematangan saya dalam 'subjek' tu.

Mungkin dari luaran, orang nampak saya tenang. Tiada masalah, gembira (mungkin).
Tapi dalam hati ni siapa yang tahu. Bukanlah nak kata menderita atau merana, tapi hanya ada satu perkataan
yang dapat describe posisi hatiku kini. SEPI.

Kata orang lagi, bila hati tu sepi, tandanya ada ruang yang kosong di dalamnya.
Tidak terisi sesuatu yang sangat bernilai. Iaitu KASIH SAYANG.
Bukanlah jugak nak kata kasih-sayang yang disuapkan keluarga tak mencukupi,
atau ada kekurangan pada kasih-sayang yang diberikan Tuhan, tapi secara 'fitranya' kita ingin disayangi.
Fahamkan maksud saya? (maaf, hanya kiasan yang dapat digunakan dalam blog ni)

Kata orang, alah jodoh tu akan sampai tepat pada masanya. Buat apa nak risaunya?

Ya, soal bila datangnya jodoh tu memang tak risau.
Tapi yang melebih merisaukan sempatkah dan akan adakah?
Mestilah jawapannya, "Wallahua'lam."

Bila hati sepi, cara terbaik ialah dengan ambil wudhuk dan mulakan pagi anda dengan tahajud.
Ya, saya percaya ramai yang buat begitu.
Tapi, kenapa kalau kita selalu buat pun, rasa sepi tu masih ada dan boleh jugak dikatakan,
semakin bercambah pulak dalam diri kesepian yang dirasai?

Adakah mungkin kerana masih belum terbinanya rasa CINTA kepada Kekasih sendiri? Mungkin.
Tapi, salahkah jika diri ini ingin disayangi oleh 'bangsa itu?'

Bersambung...

Forgetfulness

Salam.

I am such a forgetful person.

This is one attitude that I hate the most. So, my friends and whoever wish to become one have to be patient with my forgetfulness. I never intended to have this character inside me, but it just exists!

I have never wanted this attitude to grow in me but as a Muslim, I believe that Allah created things for reasons and the reasons could be something that we know or we don't know.

Perhaps I would say forgetfulness is somethings which is very unique. Only those who are selected will have this trade to become a part of their personalities.

To make life more interesting, I have a simple short story that I want to share with you guys.

For your information, this is a true story that happenned to me during my Mass Communication

mid-term examination this morning.

The story begins like this.

I went to the banquet hall in CAC because my exam would be held there. I was from home and that

means I didn't bring my pencil case along with my conformation slip with me. I needed that slip

because I forgot which section I am from. But, what could I do? Yesterday I went back with Kak Long
and because that time she was rushing home, we didn't have the opportunity to go to my mahallah
and take the slip. So, we just went back with the feeling of anxiety conquering myself. I wondered
what would happen during the exam time if I forgot to bring along my slip.

There you go.
As we were instructed by the lecturers to enter the hall, suddenly something crossed my mind! Ya Allah! I forgot which section I am supposed to be?!" I was so panicked . Then, I started to look
for my classmate, Anis and Na. Unfortunately, I dind't see their faces as I walked along the side. So,
I told Siti about my anxiety for not knowing whic section I was supposed to be.

The time has come.

I made my pace toward the entrance of the hall and there was one female lecturer asked me the same question. "What is your section?" (in bahasa) Then again, she asked me the same thing, because

she saw I just kept silent when she asked. "Awak section berapa???!!!" The second time she asked me
with a very high tone of voice. I noticed that all student who were sitting at the front, their eyes were sticked
on me. Maybe they were also stunted by her high-tone voice. She scold me for forgetting my section.
Frankly to say, if I could, I would cry during that moment, to make her feel guilty for yelling at me
in front of the public. Ya Allah, I was so embarrassed! I didn't know where to put my face!

p/s: Don't be like me. Train yourself not to become a forgetful person.

I want to continue crying now. Bye.

Wassalam.

Sekadar berkongsi rasa

Salam.

Sangat lama rasanya tidak berkongsi rasa dengan pembaca di sini. Kepada yang masih mengikuti blog saya yang tidaklah berapa nak menarik perhatian ni, saya ucapkan setinggi-tinggi rasa syukur kepada Allah kerana menghadiahi saya teman-teman baik seperti awak semua. Terima kasihlah banyak-banyak ya kerana masih sudi mengikuti blog saya. Rasa macam tak adil pula masih ada yang mengikuti blog saya tapi sudah agak lama saya tidak 'update' dengan cerita-cerita baru. Tapi, hari ini pun sebenarnya bukanlah saya nak cerita apa-apa sangat pun. Hanya tidak ingin blog ini jelas kelihatan usang di mata para pembaca. Hehehe...

Betullah kata orang. Kehidupan di kampus sangatlah berbeza dengan di sekolah. Dulu, masa kat sekolah kita taklah terlalu sibuk dengan aktiviti sana-sini dan kerja rumah yang bertimbun-timbun. Kalau dulu kita sering merungut setiap kali cikgu-cikgu beri kerja rumah, sekarang dah masuk universiti dah tak boleh nak kata, "Tak nak homework!" kepada pensyarah-pensyarah lagi. Dah tak boleh nek merengek kalau pensyarah kasi assignment. Tulah manusia kan? Yang tak dapat, dikejar-kejarnya. Bila dah diberi, tak reti pula nak bersyukur. Refleksi diri saya juga sebenarnya ni. Saya sedang mengkritik diri sendiri. Hahaha...

Bukan apa. Seronok sebenarnya jadi mahasiswa universiti. Kita dapat belajar terlalu banyak perkara di sini berbanding dengan semasa bergelar pelajar sekolah. Pemikiran pun bertambah matang (agaknya) dan sudah tidak lagi menjadi seperti katak di bawah tempurung. Bila kita dah terdedah dengan dunia luar dan berjumpa dengan pelbagai jenis manusia di sekeliling kita yang masing-masing mempunyai karakter yang tersendiri (mungkin sangat kontra dengan diri kita), kita dapat rasakan yang kita memang sedang mempelajari sesuatu yang baru, yang kita tidak dapat semasa di alam sekolah dulu.

Allah memang sangat adil, kan? Dan Dia akan beri kepada hamba-Nya sesuatu yang diingini pabila sudah sampai masanya untuk dia memilikinya. Macam tu jugaklah dengan hidup saya. Dulu masa sekolah saya sangat tak sabar nak tunggu jadi pelajar universiti, tapi bila dah dapat (Alhamdulillah jugaklah, mestilah bersyukur. Tapi...) alamak, boleh tak nak patah balik??? Mana mungkin, kan? Tapi, ada satu benda je yang boleh kita buat untuk latih diri bersabar dan terus bertahan menjalani bermacam-macam ujian setelah bergelar mahasiswa ini. Sangat simple istilahnya, iaitu BERSYUKUR.

Semester ni benar-benar sangat meletihkan....
Insya-Allah ada masa lain, saya akan ceritakan semuanya, tapi bukan sekarang ya.
Saya perlu pulang ke bilik. Penat sangat dah ni.

Jumpa lagi.

Wassalam.

Something to blog about

Salam.
Life as a university student sure isn't as 'cool' as many people could have imagined.

I still remember. Back to my secondary school, I always said to my friends that I couldn't wait to get into the university because I thought becoming a university student is something fun and enjoyable, just because I thought that it's wonderful to live as an adult. Most probably, I thought by becoming a university student is one way I could change my lifestyle. Unfortunately, I was totally wrong.

To be frank, sometimes I do enjoy my life as a university student. Living inside the campus; in a comfortable hostel, studying with friends in an aired-conditioner classroom, consulting with my lecturers when I have problems with my studies, making up a group discussion my classmates for presentations and assignments, are absolutely things that I enjoy doing them in my university. However, things does not remain the same as the semesters pass.

I don't wanna say that my life is burden with so many work loads. Hey, I'm a university student, anyway. Like my lecturers always remind us about this, that "this is simply a university life all about" and "this is all what a university students like you should do." Things like that. I will always remember that.

But, my life here in UIA seems to be more complicated. What do I mean by "more complicated?"

Well, unlike anyone else, I don't feel like my reputation as a BENL student is getting better and better. I think it's going worse and worse. Without I realizing it, my English speaking is not as fluent as my other BENL friends. My English fluency is going down day by day. That's why I've been blogging in English language, because I thought maybe this is the least way for me to improve my English (writing, to be more specific).

But I guess, no one would want to read my blog, anyway. Coz it's pretty boring and storyless. Well, I apologise for my rudeness for being pessimist abput my readers, but that's how I feel. This is why I rarely update my blog, coz I certainly know that nobody would be interested to know the latest stories that I want to share in here.

Ok, what I'm talking about now? Don't you think that it's going out of context? Actually I want to talk about my hectic life in campus, but..... see? I'm also confused about myself now. Poor Zimah.

Maybe I should stop here. Just forget about everything that I mumbled about just now. Maybe it's because of the migraine, that has made me go mad. Lol.

Just want to fill my blog with new stories.

Bye.

Wassalam.