A song dedicated to me

This song is dedicated by someone special in my life to me.

You've brightened up my days!

Thank you, love :)

I'm gonna miss you abang

almost everyday, we talk to each other

we exchange stories and ideas

you're never bored listening to my sames stories again and again

you always listen to me with full concentration

i feel happy and calm with your presence

i feel the time running so fast wherever i'm with you

you're my abang

you're going to be my only 'abang' after our marriage

my imam that will lead me to Allah's blessings

everyday, i miss you abang

everyday, i think of you

everyday, i love you

thank you for coming into my life

thank you for accepting me for who I am

thank you for always being there for me

thank you for being my best friend

thank you being yourself to make me happy

thank you for being patient with my attitudes

today you and i are away from each other

i'm gonna miss you abang

and i hope you'll feel the same way 

love you :)

*'abang' here is no one. it's just a symbolic character that i created to be present in my life. whoever you might think he is, 'abang' is a man whom you wish to be your soulmate and best friend for the rest of your life in this world and also in the hereafter. you might have your own way to express your love for your 'abang'. however, please make sure that your expression of love towards him is being manifested in a proper way. writing a poem is the most polite and romantic way i guess :)

wallahua'lam.

Dup dap... dup dap...

~Bismillah~

sejak akhir-akhir ni, diri perasan satu benda.

bila diri marah atau sedih yang teramat,

oleh sebab tidak dapat meluahkannya pada sesiapa...

oleh kerana terlalu banyak yang dipendam...

dada diri jadi sakit.

terasa debaran yang amat dahsyat. 

degupan jantung tidak laju, perlahan...

perlahan tapi begitu kuat sehingga mengetuk dada..

sampai terasa sesak dibuatnya.

sampai susah sikit ingin bernafas.

tapi ia terus dipendam.

kerana diri tak mahu jadi seorang yang suka berterus-terang,

sebab kerana sikap terlalu berterus-terang itu

telah melukakan hati orang-orang yang diri sayang.

biarlah diri yang terluka

biarlah diri yang terseksa...

menanggung beban demi meletakkan mereka dalam 

syurga kebahagiaan.

diri rela....

tapi sekarang sakitnya yang datang dari semalam...

masih belum menghilang.

air mata tidak berhenti mengalir.

diri perlu ke 'gua' semula.

  

A gift

When your world seems to be crumbling, remember that the Almighty will definitely come to your help.

When your road seems to be closed, remember that the Almighty will open many more new roads.

When you are let down by those closest to you, remember that the Almighty never let's you down so make Him even closer.

When you suffer a loss, remember that the Almighty rewards you upon your patience & endurance far more than what you have lost.

When you feel so lonely because everyone has left you, remember that the Almighty will never forsake you.

When you have sinned so much, remember that the Almighty will forgive you if you repent truly & return to His Path.

When you get up every morning, thank the Almighty for giving you another chance to mend your ways before you finally meet Him.

When you are sad, remember to look for the path of He who created you for He Alone can make you truly happy.

Praise Him for indeed All praise is due to the one who loves us so much that He always declares Himself Most Compassionate, Most Merciful!


*This is truly the best gift. Thanks Lola :')

10 things I will do whenever I got messed up, depressed, sad and angry...

~Bismillah~

Everyone has his own unique ways to lessen their stress, sadness and anger.

As for me, these are basically what I'll do whenever I experience those feelings...

10 things I will do whenever I got messed up, depressed, sad and angry about something or someone:-

1- Eat, eat and eat!

Especially when I'm terribly angry about something or even at someone, the best way to cope with that anger is to eat as much as I want! I will just pick up anything as long as it's good and tasty and halal of course, I will eat it with the amount that I could have never taken before and I swear no one would believe I would eat that much. For example, nasi campur, I will eat at least 3 plates of nasi along with the lauk pauk and enjoy the meal as long as my tummy could accept. And as long as I haven't burped, I will continue eating until I'm full. This is one of the privileges a so-called skinny person like me, who is underweight can enjoy which is, no matter how much you eat, you will never gain weight! Aha!

2- Istighfar... seeking for Allah's forgiveness.

I think this is the best way to get rid of the anger which is conquering our heart. By reciting istighfar, it turns us back to our Lord and reminds us that we are just His servantsand we are too small compared to His greatness. It is somehow a wake up call for us to make us realize that no matter how many sins we commit, Allah still loves us and continue giving us His ni'mah and of course, bless our life.

3- Karaoke! Oh yeah!

My mom once told me that singing songs is a good exercise it can prevent us from getting heart disease! This is taken from a research. Yup, I totally agree with that. I don't know why but I think most people aware that singing is one of the best and the most relaxing exercise that anyone can do, especially to remove the stress. Maybe it's because when you sing, you can be all out without concerning about what others might think of how good your voice is because you let everything out of you heart. When you sing, especially a high tone/pitch type of song, like Ziana Zain songs, all the things that burden your heart will absolutely jump out of your heart as well as your body. That's what I always do to entertain myself. But since now I've already run out of money and I have no friends who like to sing as me, so, all I do is to go to the youtube and search for any playlists of my favourite singers. Take my water bottle, and karaoke myself and it feels like I'm singing on the stage in front of my fans. Haaa! It's a very exciting feeling that one could ever experience!

4- Drive the car over the limit!

Well, I'm not gonna elaborate on this but just to share what I normally do when I am angry is that, I'll start the car, and speed the care up to over 120 km. It's kinda dangerous (so don't try this at home). But it's a relief when you can actually express your anger by pressing the car pedals. When I'm doing this, I don't even care about what's going to happen to me at that time. I just leave it to Allah. If I were to die, I'm prepared because even now I can still die anytime if Allah wills. But I don't think it's considered a suicide because it goes back to my intention. I'm not doing that to kill myself, instead I'm showing my anger through driving a car. That's all! Even if I die in a car accident, I don't think anyone would care too.

5- Listen to radio 

When I'm deeply sad about something or someone, I will usually turn on the radio, Lite Fm of course, as it's my favourite channel, and listen to all the English songs. Sometimes I tend to change the channel. I listen to as many songs as possible because when you are feeling lonely and you're listening to songs, you'll feel like the singers of those songs are actually talking to you and they have certain messages that they are trying to deliver to you in their songs. It's such a nice and warm feelings when someone can actually calm you by singing songs. The songs are like my lullaby.

6- Talking to myself

Like a crazy fella! 

7- Cry, cry and cry as much as I want

I think this is the best therapy so far. Crying can ease all the burdens in my heart and it somehow makes all the pains that have been kept inside my heart go away. But the problem is, now, I don't have any shoulders to cry. If I'm a married person, I would definitely look for my husband's shoulders and let my tears to fall on them. I will hug him tightly until all the pain go away and until I feel cool again. But again, I've no husband. So, the only think I have to let my tears stream on it is my pillow.

8- Make-ups!

Actually, I haven't done this method yet. However, it's worth a try. Playing with my make-up set can actually turn me into a younger kid. It brings me back to my childhood whereby I liked to play with my elder sister's lipsticks, eye shadows and blushers. I love to play with colours. So, whenever I feel sad about something or again someone, I will put on a dramatic make-up on my face. I choose either black, blue, green, orange or any dark eye shadows to colour my eyes making them look like ghost eyes and very bright pink blushers to colour both my cheeks. But I don't dare enough to apply dark lipticks on my lips because that's so not me. I'll look evil like a wicked witch or bitch! So, I'd rather not try any dark coloured lipsticks on. Well, by putting on a dramatic make-ups, I shall not worry because I'm wearing glasses anyway and no one would ever notice I'm wearing a horrible make-up ever! unless I put my glasses off :)

9- Sleep..... krohh... kroh..

Sleeping is just the right thing to do when you are in great pressure, terrible anger or even when you are truly hurt or upset by something or someone. Because when you sleep, everything will feel like going away and as you wake up from the sleep, suddenly you feel so fresh and somehow forget everything that had happened to you before that. You kinda like having a short-term memory loss! Oppsssiiieee....

10- Wudhu', solat, and Quranic recitation

No matter how much I'm depressed, sad or angry about something or someone, I never forget my role as a Muslim. Taking ablution, performing solat and reciting Quran are so powerful tools or methods that people from other religions don't own. I'm so lucky to be born as a Muslim because wherever I am or however I am, I could always talk to my God because He's is the Best Listener. He listens to my prayer everyday. Even if I don't speak it out, He still knows everything kept inside. I'm so proud that He's still here with me and He's always there for me when those people are keep stabbing me from the back.

*Bonus: Another way to release my pain, is to shout loudly!

Bye :)