Sakura

~Bismillah~

I miss my sakura. I don't know why. It happened all of a sudden.

Thinking of sakura, makes me smile.

Knowing sakura is one of the most precious gifts.

Longing to me meet sakura is ever my dream.

I hope one day, I'll be able to meet sakura in person.

No more staring at it through pictures.

Surely one day this dream of mine will become true.

Looking at the Mountain Sakura in mist
I miss a person who looks at the Sakura
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ Kino Tsurayuki

This heart of mine
Will not leave the blossoms
Of one pretty tree
-Sonshi 1356

"Mr. Sakura, how are you, today?"

Speaking of "bullshit"... get the books!

 ~Bismillah~

Yesterday, he talked a lot about politics, about mahasiswa and anything related to it. 

I don't want to comment on it, seems I'm not a politics expert.
If you want to know more about Malaysian politics and the condition of our beloved country,
just get his books now!

But all I can say about his talk yesterday, it was OSEM! And Kee Thuan Chye had opened
my eyes about being a good citizen of her country.

;)

R. A. O. K

~Bismillah~

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and the Most Merciful.

One of the things that I love to do the most as long as I'm living in Allah's earth is to make people around me happy. It doesn't matter whether or not I know them. They could be my own family members, my friends, my teachers or even strangers. Whether they are Muslims or even non-Muslims is also no big deal for me. As long as they are happy, I feel my life is enlightened. I don't know why. It's just me. My nature. Well, if you ask my friends what sort of person Hazimah is, they will probably say, "She's a very serious girl" or "She rarely smiles at people, especially at those whom she's not acquainted with" or "She's fierceful!" and ecetra ecetra. I can say I agree to most of them because what they said are actually the true colors of me. I cannot deny them. I was born like this and I'm growing with these traits. However, I know that somehow, like it or not, I have and I must change these attitudes of mine. I cannot stay like this forever. Whoever comes near me will not feel comfortable and they will probably scared or sad and I definitely don't want those people who are closed to me walk away from me just because of my unpleasant characters. Until one day, while I was daydreaming, thinking about my past, my present and my future, I was strucked by my consciense and I said to it enthusiastically, "I need to change!" And here it is, the result! Although I didn't change 100% but at least I'm no longer a scary or serious person like people used to say. I've become a new person. More cheerful and more careful of what ever comes out from my mouths. I just want to make sure that only wisdoms produced by my utterances and only good deeds displayed to others. By doing these, I don't gain but only the happiness and satisfaction of being a 'lovely' servant in the eyes of my Lord. I want nothing but His blessings and His Love in this world and also in the hereafter.

I know that some people feel bothered when I'm being too kind to them in which I think is funny sometimes. Somehow people just don't like us acting so nice to them. They will think that there must be prawn behind the stone (Malay proverb. lol) or they will assume that later we will ask them something in return which I believe most of us would say, "Ya, Allah! Takde niat papepun!" immediately after hearing all these kinds of nonsensical thoughts. May these are just my imaginations. I also don't want to be put into His Hell by accusing them to have these kinds of thoughts but from my experience, these are what I heard from some people whom I think didn't like me showing my kindness to them or in other words for me to be 'exaggerate' in showing them my random acts of kindness. How sad... but we cannot force people to accept every of our deeds, can we? We have no rights to that. No rights at all! It's their choice. Let them be. But... it doesn't mean that we should stop being nice to them. This should not be the reason for us to stop displaying our random acts of kindness, because being nice to those who dislike us is one of the acts which Allah will increase our position as His servant in the Day of Judgement. Don't we want that? We do, don't we? So, bear with me. Just continue being nice to whoever we meet. Being kind to those who are kind to us will help us to be kinder and kinder and being kind to those who are not kind to us will surely turn us to be the most kindest person in this world, as long as we are patient. Trust me, this works!   In sha Allah, in the end, we'll be the most happiest and peacefulest person on earth!!!

 "Random acts of kindness; they're not just acts, they're are our responsibilities."

~Zimah Zaiwani

R. A. O. K. = Random Acts of Kindness

^_^

Tenang

Selama ni aku fikir dengan adanya orang-orang yang kusayang di sisiku,

hatiku akan bahagia dan tenang selalu.

Tapi perkara ini terbukti tidak benar tatkala satu persatu daripada mereka

pergi meninggalkan tanpa ku sedar.

Ternyata kunci ketenangan, bukan pada mereka.

Tapi kunci ketenangan Allahlah yang pegang.

Jika diri terasa kacau, segeralah kembali kepada Allah.

Kita tak perlu cari di mana Allah, sebab Allah tidak pernah ke mana-mana.

Dia sentiasa di tempat yang sama, menanti kita menyeru nama-Nya.

"Ya Allah.. ampuni aku kerana baru menyedari hakikat ini..."

:')

My favorites

            i waited

               and i waited for your words

               letters that darken my pigeonhole,

               linger in worn-out trust.

               loving you is embracing silence,

               once warm in hand

               you are faint in the distance.

               you have taught me to forget,

               to prefer

               my fallen pride.

               i am now me

               standing raw at the conclusion

               of a long silence.

               i am a new man (woman, in my case),

               waiting for no one

               but myself.

               p/s: At some time, I waited. And now I'm still waiting but 'm not sure for how long...

               only poems

            only poems between us -

               reading words

               like spies of emotion,

               ready to feel

               to praise with recognition.

               oh what insight

               for him who wants to see,

               what understanding

               in reading the known.

               no critic,

               i am a partisan of the heart.

               p/s: Now, only poems can connect us. Others can't.

              before or after

              la vie est vaste, etant

                            ivre d' absence - valery

              this life is vast,

              too big for years

              before or after me,

              but to possess it whole

              is beyond ambition.

              i want the days as they come,

              with you.

              we shall stop them,

              new, with their minutes,

              smells, sweat and paths.

              p/s: Before or after me, life is life. To live in it is to feel the pain.

              words

           words began this -

              tedious promises,

              lies that held together

              the false sentence.

              between pain and lies

              i once chose to hear sweet words

              for they gave

              breath between cries.

              p/s: A few words started everything and a few words ended everything.

Prof. Muhammad Haji Salleh's poems feel so connected to me, to my life. They portray a lot of things that I've been through and they are truly inspiring. Now, I'm truly in love with poetry.

:')