Ziarah raya, sebuah kelainan :)

~Bismillah~

Save Egypt!

At Ustaz Isha's house

Peace yo!

At Ustaz's Syahir's house

Congratulations Ammar and Madihah and may Allah bless your marriage

;)

Sukarnya untukku menerima semua ini!

~Bismillah~

Ya. Memang sukar. 

Sukar untuk kita menerima sesuatu kenyataan yang tak begitu mudah untuk ditelan.

Sukar untuk kita menerima kesakitan yang tak pernah atau yang sudah tidak mahu kita rasakan kali ini.

Sukar untuk kita menerima perpisahan yang sudah ditakdirkan.

Segala-galanya susah bagi kita untuk menerima semua ini!

Walau kita akui bahawa kita mempercayai takdir yang sudah tertulis buat kita,

tapi masih lagi hati kita sukar untuk menerima semua ini terjadi.

Kenapa?

Mari bermuhasabah.

Mungkinkah kerana hati kita sudah keras, sekeras batu? 

Walau dicurah air ke atasnya, walau disemburkan api kepadanya,

masih lagi ia tidak lekuk-lekuk dan tidak cair-cair? Sukar dilentur lagi.

Mungkinkah kerana jiwa kita sendiri sedang sakit dan menderita,

dek pengalaman-pengalaman dulu dan kenangan-kenangan pahit 

yang begitu mengkucar-kacirkan hidup sekarang?

Mungkinkah kita sendiri sudah jauh dari Tuhan yang menciptakan kita?

Di mulut kita akui kita beriman kepada-Nya,

namun hati masih penuh rasa sangsi terhadap-Nya?

Begitukah? Tolonglah... mohon agar bukan ini sebabnya mengapa kita sukar menerima

sesuatu yang kita tidak mahu ianya terjadi dalam hidup tetapi telah pun terjadi.

Pasti ada sebab lain, 

yang adakalanya sukar untuk kita kesan.

Walau dalam seribu pencarian, adakalanya ianya tetap akan terus menjadi misteri
kalau itu yang Tuhan berkehendakkan.

Hanya Tuhan sahaja yang Maha Berkuasa, mengetahui segala-galanya.

Apa yang ada di sebalik gumpalan hati,

dan apa yang ada di sebalik tirai minda.

Wallahua'lam. Mungkin ini jawapan terbaik buat masa ini.

Tapi, satu soalan untuk kita sama-sama fikirkan.

Kalau kita percaya bahawa perancangan Allah itu yang terbaik,

kenapa hati senang terluka dan masih berduka pada sesuatu yang telah terjadi, 

bukan atas kehendak dan keinginan kita?

Adakah kita tidak mempercayai-Nya?

Kita was-was, bukan? Mengaku saja! Usah malu!

Atau dengan bahasa yang lebih lembut, kita bukan tak percaya, cuma kita takut je.

Takut apa? Takut kalau-kalau kita tak mampu menerima apa yang telah ditakdirkan tu.

Alahai... susahnya nak puaskan hati manusia ni kan?

Siapa lagi manusia itu kalau bukan kita sendiri.

Sebab itulah doa dan istikharah tu sangat penting! 

Kepada siapa lagi kita nak bergantung harap kalau bukan kepada Allah?

Kalau kita percayakan-Nya, sepatutnya hati kita akan bertambah tenang setiap hari.

Bukannya resah gelisah. 

Tapi kalaulah itu yang kita rasakan sekarang, kita tepuk dada kembali,

ketuk-ketuk sikit pintu hati tu dan cuba tanya diri sendiri.

Sedalam manakah kepercayaanmu pada Ilahi setakat ini?

Darpada situ, kita pasti akan menemukan jawapannya. Kalau dah dapat jawapan,

simpan dengan rapi. Jangan sampai dia bocor ke tangan orang lain. Kalau tak, nahas!

Lagi satu.

Bila kita ada masalah, kita sepatutnya menghadapinya dengan penuh ketenangan dan berlapang dada.

Jangan lari daripada masalah tersebut. Lari dari masalah takkan menyelesaikan apa-apa, 

tambahan akan lebih menambahkan masalah.

Satu-satunya jalan untuk kita selesaikan sesebuah masalah adalah dengan cara menghadapi masalah itu dengan berani dan penuh keyakinan diri!

Dan paling penting sekali, jangan lupa untuk tetap SENYUM walaupun masalah besar sedang melanda diri.

Itu barulah ciri-ciri orang Mu'min, yang 

apabila ia diuji, ia bersabar dan apabila ia diberi nikmat, ia bersyukur.

Kita semua Mu'minuun, bukan?

Oleh itu.....

La tahzan, innallaha ma'assobiriin...

Walau sesukar manapun kita menghadapi sesuatu yang pahit untuk ditelan masuk ke dalam hati,

dengan hati yang penuh redha pada ketentuan Ilahi,

in sha Allah kita pasti boleh menerimanya dengan tenang dan penuh keterbukaan hati.

Cuma jangan lupa untuk ucapkan bismillah setiap hari mulakan kehidupan,

dan alhamdulillah setiap hari menutup cerita. Dan......... hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakiil... 

agar Allah mempermudahkan setiap urusan yang sukar.

Wallahua'lam.

Jom tidur dengan tenang ^^Selamat malam semuanya. Moga Allah redha. 

Gadis kecil bernama Myra

~Bismillah~

Pernah suatu ketika dahulu

Diri mengenali seorang gadis kecil

Namanya.... Myra

Myra yang lincah... Myra yang cergas... Myra yang cerdas

Diri mengenalinya hanya melalui

Cerita-cerita dari seseorang dan

Dari gambar-gambar yang seseorang itu tunjukkan

Diri tak pernah bersuara muka

Dengan si kecil bernama Myra ini

Tapi cerita-cerita dan gambar-gambarnya

Cukup membuatkan hati ini tertarik kepadanya

Sungguh Myra ini unik budaknya

Sampailah hari sebuah kisah menemukan penamatannya

Barulah takdir menemukan kita

Myra macam tahu-tahu itulah

Pertemuan pertama dan terakhir kalinya

Buat kita

Myra... Diri ini begitu merindukanmu

Pertama kali menatap wajahmu

Manakan diri tahu bahawa itu jugalah Kali terakhir diri bersamamu

Terus saja air mata tumpah

Di situ juga

Di hadapan rumahmu

Diri mengakui kamu, Myra, memang anak yang baik

Bagi kedua orang tuamu

Sebab diri dapat merasakan itu

Oleh itu Myra, diri berdoa agar

Kita dapat berdua lagi

Siapa tahu... Mungkin suatu hari

Kamu boleh menjadi teman kepada cahaya mata diri nanti

Myra, diri ini tak pernah sekali pun melupakanmu

Namamu sentiasa tersemat di hati ini

Hingga ke akhirnya

Diri sayang kamu selamanya

Me

~Bismillah~

Long time no updates. In sha Allah, I try my best to update a little bit about myself here. Since tomorrow I got classes, so I will shorten my post as much as I can.

Me. What do you know about me? You don't know much about me, do you? 

Because we just knew each other and there are lots of things that we still need to learn about each other.

This post is going to be sangat sempoi, so, please read it carefully and try to understand me through it.

Actually, not just you, many people out there (my acquaintances of course) who still don't know much about myself and my life background. But all I know is that most of them judge me from what they see from their beautiful eyes created by Allah.

"Wow! Hazimah got a big house! She must come from a wealthy family!" 

"Besarnya rumah Zmah! Segan pulak nak masuk!"

Aha! These are the most famous expressions I heard from most of my friends, which are quite funny to me,

because when I thought back of what they say about my house, they only thing that came across my mind was, "Hello, guys, that's not my house. That's my parents' house. If I were to have my own house, I will build a castle instead of a bungalow. Just kidding!" Lol.

Tapi, yup, most people think I'm a rich person which I totally reject that idea.

Why? Because most of them didn't know the true story behind it. The truth is, I don't much about my family history, tapi yang saya tahu ialah, we used to move from one place to another (atau dengan erti kata lain berpindah-randah atau bahasa bestnya hidup secara nomad) before my father built the comfortable house that we are staying now. If I;m not mistaken, we had moved from one house to another for three times and it was long time ago. When I was small, we just stayed in rental houses. Our first and second temporary houses was located in Sri Gombak and our third temporary house was in Taman Desa Minang, Greenwood. So, nak katanya, saya bukannya tak pernah rasa duduk rumah kecik dan sempit. To me, our previous house in Taman Desa Minang is much bigger and more comfortable than the ones located in Sri Gombak. Our old house in Sri Gombak was so small. Masuk-masuk je, memang straight away dah nampak dapur. Jalan sikit, dah sampai dapur dah. But what made me think that the house was big enough for us to live in is that because we had a big family. Just imagine, 10 people staying in a small house. It sounds torturing but alhamdulillah, we managed to get through the hardship together. 

Why we had to live in a small house before we moved to a bigger one? 

Because during that time, ayah was still collecting money to built the house that we're living in now. And even after the house had been completely built, we still needed to stay in the rental house in Greenwood because there were a couple of Dato' and Datin who rented our house because they were waiting for their new mansion to be completely built too.

Nak dijadikan ceritanya, saya bukannya tak pernah merasa duduk di rumah ekcik dan sempit. Pernah je and I'm proudly to say that, I'm still happy for it and I never mengungkit pasal rumah kecik, sempit semua because to me, it's not about how big your house is but how much happiness you can fill inside it. 

And another thing is that, saya pernah je tinggal di rumah kayu yang tandasnya terletak di luar rumah ya. Dulu, kami rajin balik Kelantan. Setiap kali balik Kelantan, memang akan tidur di rumah kayu yang tandasnya sama ada dekat luar rumah, atau tak ada pintu langsung! Terpaksalah mandi berkemban. Tapi nasib baik masa tu kecik comel lagi. Tak malu sangat nak berkemban. Hehe. Dan kalau ikutkan, saya lagi suka duduk rumah kayu berbanding rumah batu. Saya lagi suka makan dekat atas lantai berbanding makan atas meja besar. Saya lagi suka tidur atas tilam berbanding tidur atas katil dan semua ni pernah saya lalui :)

And actually, it took a long time for ayah to built us one big and comfortable house that we are living in now. It didn't take days or months, instead years for him to give us a bigger 'heaven.' But what makes me sad is that many people think that kami orang senang. My father was originally a kampung boy but because of his hardship in looking for money to make our lives more comfortable, he had achieved what we're having now. Thanks to him and thanks to Allah sebab murahkan rezeki dia dan kami semua. 

Hmm... what else I want to describe about me? Oh, before that, the reason why I'm telling you this because I want you to be like me. Please don't judge book by its cover. I never judge people from their appearance or  from the house they are living in or from the car they drive. I only judge people from their hearts. We can only know how much sincere they are to us through their hearts. Other things seem to be unimportant to me. Properties, wealth, richness... all of these we can get in a just blink of eyes if Allah wills. Tapi nak jadi atau cari orang yang ada big hearts tadi, sangatlah susah and we can only know after we had turned to be one or had befriended one. 

For all my life, Allah gave me the opportunity to get to know with and to befriend people who come from a very poor family and rich family. Saya ada kawan-kawan yang hidup mereka lebih susah dari saya dan lebih senang dari saya and I thank Allah for sending them to my life. Knowing them have taught me a lot of valuable lessons in life. 

Mengenali orang-orang yang susah mengajar kita erti rendah diri.

Mengenali orang-orang yang hidupnya lebih senang dan kaya dari kita mengajar kita erti syukur.

These people, I should be thankful to them because they keep on teaching me on how to appreciate life, the life that Allah had granted me now. I'm happy to be what I am now. I don't need more and I don't need less. I truly appreciate what I am and what I have now. Thanks to both of my parents who had gone through all the hardships just to let me live a comfortable life. Tapi kalau takde rumah besar, tak banyak harta pun, saya masih lagi happy sebab saya ada Allah, keluarga dan diri saya. That's more than enough to me.

Maybe I should stop here. This may be not enough but cukuplah sekadar mengurangkan rasa inferior kamu untuk terus berkawan dengan saya.   

Whoever you are or whoever you may be, I truly accept you as they way you are. You don't have to transform to someone else just to satisfy me. I accept people as who they are. However, improvements are still needed. If there are some flaws regarding your akhlak or attitute, yes, I will ask you to change that not immediately but slowly. But for now, just be yourself and don't be too inferior just because kita sedikit berbeza. Differences (no matter in what aspects) are to be appreciated dan perlu dinikmati bersama. Jangan menjauhkan diri walaupun saya sedikit senang dari kamu atau kamu sedikit susah dari saya dan sebaliknya. Yang macam mana Allah datangkan kamu dalam hidup saya, yang macam tu jugaklah I want you to be. Just stay who you are. 

Like I said before, I don't need more and I don't need less. I'm so grateful for what I have now.

And to you, it doesn't matter if I have to live in a hardship with you because I have Allah, our family and YOU. Cuma, nak cakap, susah macam manapun hidup kita, jangan pernah sesekali berhutang. Berhutang demi kesenangan hidup sekarang adalah sangat bercanggah dengan prinsip hidup saya. Er.... kalau PTPTN tu lain cerita ya. Hehe. This is what I learn from my father. Sepanjang hidup dia, dia tak pernah berhutang. Langsung tak pernah!  That's what I respect him the most. So, biar susah sekarang tapi senang kemudian. Tapi kalau Allah dah tak izin untuk kita hidup senang di dunia ni, kenapa mengeluh? Kita akan hidup senang jugak di akhirat nanti. Dan........ di dunia ni, the only that can turn us to be the richest person in the world is just to be HAPPY! If we're happy, that means we have become the most richest person in the whole wide world! Trust me! 

*Kebahagiaan sesebuah perhubungan adalah berpaksikan pada dasar taqwa kita pada Allah dan saling percaya antara satu sama lain. Harta kekayaan boleh hilang dalam sekelip mata. Hanya sepetik jari, semuanya akan hilang dari mata kalau Allah berkehendakkan. Tapi orang yang ikhlas, orang yang baik, hanya satu dalam seribu dekat dunia ni. Just improve yourself dekat mana-mana yang perlu diperbaiki. Tapi jangan sedih kalau tak dapat bagi kekayaan pada saya sebab saya tak perlukan semua tu. Cukuplah rasa cinta pada Allah dan Islam yang kamu bawa dalam diri kamu dijadikan mahar untuk menikahi saya.Dan kalau dari sudut keduniaan pulak, cukuplah sekadar kelengkapan saya, nafkhah saya terpenuhi. Benda-benda lain tu, saya mungkin tak dapat di dunia tapi Allah akan bagi dekat syurga. In sha Allah. Dan jangan takut untuk hidup susah dengan saya sebab saya dah terlalu lama tidur dalam lautan kesenangan. Kadang-kadang rasa rindu untuk hidup susah pula.

Wallahua'lam.

Puzzle 43: Friend, all I need from you is to be appreciated

~Bismillah~

Since I was very small, I rarely make friends with people because I was a very shy and timid girl. No one can bear with my shyness and quietness. They found it very difficult to talk to me and to befriend me. I just knew it. That was me. Long before. I was very weak in socializing. Even at home, my only companions are my late Atuk and my Kak Uda. Only they know the ways to make me talk and laugh. No one except them could do it, including my mother. Strange, isn't it? But that's the real thing to be admitted here.

Until I entered the second half of my primary school, I met a few people that had turned me into someone else. Someone new. Our friendship has lasted until we got enrolled to the secondary level. We became closer and closer. We became good friends and we became best friends! The person is a she. She was always there when I needed her the most. We always overnight at each other's houses. Get to know with each other's family and tried to understand each other's hearts. I really miss the moment where we usually had our pillow talk before we went to bed. There were so many things, many issues that we talked about and one of it, I still can remember it until today. 

Alhamdulillah, with Allah's bless, our relationship has lasted until today. However, we had lost contact. Since she went to study abroad, I never got to see her again. Since her parents separated from each other, I've never heard any news or stories about her. I always received a private message from her saying that she truly misses me but she never mentioned anything about returning to Malaysia. I heard that she's already here but how can I ever contact her? Her number had lost with my old hand phone and she never turned on her FB since then. But I just want to say that she's my only schoolmate who understands all my hindrances and she never said no whenever I need her hands in something. Even my mom and my sister love and miss her so much, I love and miss her even more. May Allah guard and protect her wherever she is.

When I started my new life as an adult student in UIA, I met several new people who had changed my life 180 degree. I knew them from QYC, one of the clubs that I had joined when I was still studying in UIA. I made friends with some and get close to them. Alhamdulillah, at first, everything went well. But now, everything seems to be faded away with the time. After everyone had graduated from the university, no more messages, no more calls I receive from them. Everyone keeps silent. Maybe they are too busy with their works or with their personal lives. I truly understand that.

But, they did something that can be hardly accepted by my heart. They contacted among themselves without me having the same conversation. It's simply because I don;t have What's App in my phone. When I met them, they acted like I wasn't there at all. They laughed among themselves and ignored me who was sitting beside them. They share a lot of things among themselves without even letting me know. See? To them, my existence is just this much. I seem to be nothing in their lives. When they want to meet, I will always be the last person they contact. They are many things they keep among themselves without even bother to tell me a single thing about it. Because why? Because I'm nothing. 

I am preciousless. I am valueless. I am no one in their list of friends.

To end this post, I just can let my tears running down my cheeks. 

I know that no matter how much other people hurt us, but we still need to be good to them.

But for me, I only can do this much. I can no longer bear with their attitude on how they value friendship.

Now, I'm leaving. I'm leaving from those who never appreciate me in their lives and leaving to those who appreciate my being.

*Friend, all I need from you is to be appreciated. I never hope for something in return. You mean so much to me but if I mean  only this much to you, what ever for we continue this relationship? So, I better take my leave. So that you'll be happier when I'm not around. So long.