Long time no updates. In sha Allah, I try my best to update a little bit about myself here. Since tomorrow I got classes, so I will shorten my post as much as I can.
Me. What do you know about me? You don't know much about me, do you?
Because we just knew each other and there are lots of things that we still need to learn about each other.
This post is going to be sangat sempoi, so, please read it carefully and try to understand me through it.
Actually, not just you, many people out there (my acquaintances of course) who still don't know much about myself and my life background. But all I know is that most of them judge me from what they see from their beautiful eyes created by Allah.
"Wow! Hazimah got a big house! She must come from a wealthy family!"
"Besarnya rumah Zmah! Segan pulak nak masuk!"
Aha! These are the most famous expressions I heard from most of my friends, which are quite funny to me,
because when I thought back of what they say about my house, they only thing that came across my mind was, "Hello, guys, that's not my house. That's my parents' house. If I were to have my own house, I will build a castle instead of a bungalow. Just kidding!" Lol.
Tapi, yup, most people think I'm a rich person which I totally reject that idea.
Why? Because most of them didn't know the true story behind it. The truth is, I don't much about my family history, tapi yang saya tahu ialah, we used to move from one place to another (atau dengan erti kata lain berpindah-randah atau bahasa bestnya hidup secara nomad) before my father built the comfortable house that we are staying now. If I;m not mistaken, we had moved from one house to another for three times and it was long time ago. When I was small, we just stayed in rental houses. Our first and second temporary houses was located in Sri Gombak and our third temporary house was in Taman Desa Minang, Greenwood. So, nak katanya, saya bukannya tak pernah rasa duduk rumah kecik dan sempit. To me, our previous house in Taman Desa Minang is much bigger and more comfortable than the ones located in Sri Gombak. Our old house in Sri Gombak was so small. Masuk-masuk je, memang straight away dah nampak dapur. Jalan sikit, dah sampai dapur dah. But what made me think that the house was big enough for us to live in is that because we had a big family. Just imagine, 10 people staying in a small house. It sounds torturing but alhamdulillah, we managed to get through the hardship together.
Why we had to live in a small house before we moved to a bigger one?
Because during that time, ayah was still collecting money to built the house that we're living in now. And even after the house had been completely built, we still needed to stay in the rental house in Greenwood because there were a couple of Dato' and Datin who rented our house because they were waiting for their new mansion to be completely built too.
Nak dijadikan ceritanya, saya bukannya tak pernah merasa duduk di rumah ekcik dan sempit. Pernah je and I'm proudly to say that, I'm still happy for it and I never mengungkit pasal rumah kecik, sempit semua because to me, it's not about how big your house is but how much happiness you can fill inside it.
And actually, it took a long time for ayah to built us one big and comfortable house that we are living in now. It didn't take days or months, instead years for him to give us a bigger 'heaven.' But what makes me sad is that many people think that kami orang senang. My father was originally a kampung boy but because of his hardship in looking for money to make our lives more comfortable, he had achieved what we're having now. Thanks to him and thanks to Allah sebab murahkan rezeki dia dan kami semua.
Hmm... what else I want to describe about me? Oh, before that, the reason why I'm telling you this because I want you to be like me. Please don't judge book by its cover. I never judge people from their appearance or from the house they are living in or from the car they drive. I only judge people from their hearts. We can only know how much sincere they are to us through their hearts. Other things seem to be unimportant to me. Properties, wealth, richness... all of these we can get in a just blink of eyes if Allah wills. Tapi nak jadi atau cari orang yang ada big hearts tadi, sangatlah susah and we can only know after we had turned to be one or had befriended one.
For all my life, Allah gave me the opportunity to get to know with and to befriend people who come from a very poor family and rich family. Saya ada kawan-kawan yang hidup mereka lebih susah dari saya dan lebih senang dari saya and I thank Allah for sending them to my life. Knowing them have taught me a lot of valuable lessons in life.
Mengenali orang-orang yang susah mengajar kita erti rendah diri.
Mengenali orang-orang yang hidupnya lebih senang dan kaya dari kita mengajar kita erti syukur.
These people, I should be thankful to them because they keep on teaching me on how to appreciate life, the life that Allah had granted me now. I'm happy to be what I am now. I don't need more and I don't need less. I truly appreciate what I am and what I have now. Thanks to both of my parents who had gone through all the hardships just to let me live a comfortable life. Tapi kalau takde rumah besar, tak banyak harta pun, saya masih lagi happy sebab saya ada Allah, keluarga dan diri saya. That's more than enough to me.
Maybe I should stop here. This may be not enough but cukuplah sekadar mengurangkan rasa inferior kamu untuk terus berkawan dengan saya.
Whoever you are or whoever you may be, I truly accept you as they way you are. You don't have to transform to someone else just to satisfy me. I accept people as who they are. However, improvements are still needed. If there are some flaws regarding your akhlak or attitute, yes, I will ask you to change that not immediately but slowly. But for now, just be yourself and don't be too inferior just because kita sedikit berbeza. Differences (no matter in what aspects) are to be appreciated dan perlu dinikmati bersama. Jangan menjauhkan diri walaupun saya sedikit senang dari kamu atau kamu sedikit susah dari saya dan sebaliknya. Yang macam mana Allah datangkan kamu dalam hidup saya, yang macam tu jugaklah I want you to be. Just stay who you are.
Like I said before, I don't need more and I don't need less. I'm so grateful for what I have now.
And to you, it doesn't matter if I have to live in a hardship with you because I have Allah, our family and YOU. Cuma, nak cakap, susah macam manapun hidup kita, jangan pernah sesekali berhutang. Berhutang demi kesenangan hidup sekarang adalah sangat bercanggah dengan prinsip hidup saya. Er.... kalau PTPTN tu lain cerita ya. Hehe. This is what I learn from my father. Sepanjang hidup dia, dia tak pernah berhutang. Langsung tak pernah! That's what I respect him the most. So, biar susah sekarang tapi senang kemudian. Tapi kalau Allah dah tak izin untuk kita hidup senang di dunia ni, kenapa mengeluh? Kita akan hidup senang jugak di akhirat nanti. Dan........ di dunia ni, the only that can turn us to be the richest person in the world is just to be HAPPY! If we're happy, that means we have become the most richest person in the whole wide world! Trust me!
*Kebahagiaan sesebuah perhubungan adalah berpaksikan pada dasar taqwa kita pada Allah dan saling percaya antara satu sama lain. Harta kekayaan boleh hilang dalam sekelip mata. Hanya sepetik jari, semuanya akan hilang dari mata kalau Allah berkehendakkan. Tapi orang yang ikhlas, orang yang baik, hanya satu dalam seribu dekat dunia ni. Just improve yourself dekat mana-mana yang perlu diperbaiki. Tapi jangan sedih kalau tak dapat bagi kekayaan pada saya sebab saya tak perlukan semua tu. Cukuplah rasa cinta pada Allah dan Islam yang kamu bawa dalam diri kamu dijadikan mahar untuk menikahi saya.Dan kalau dari sudut keduniaan pulak, cukuplah sekadar kelengkapan saya, nafkhah saya terpenuhi. Benda-benda lain tu, saya mungkin tak dapat di dunia tapi Allah akan bagi dekat syurga. In sha Allah. Dan jangan takut untuk hidup susah dengan saya sebab saya dah terlalu lama tidur dalam lautan kesenangan. Kadang-kadang rasa rindu untuk hidup susah pula.