"Falling in love is when...," says Ibn Hazm

~Bismillah~

#Some of the symptoms are...

-The lover gazing at the beloved unblinkingly; his eyes follow the loved one's every movement, withdrawing as he withdraws, inclining as he inclines, just as the chameleon's stare shifts with the shifting of the sun

#Some signs of love...

1-The lover will direct his conversation to the beloved even when he purports

2-When the loved one speaks, the lover listens with rapt attention to his every word; he marvels at everything the beloved says; he believes him implicitly even when he is clearly lying; agrees with him though he is obviously in the wrong, etc.

3-The lover hurries to the spot where the beloved is at the moment; endeavours to sit near to him as possible 

4-Sudden confusion and excitement betrayed by the lover when he unexpectedly see the one he loves coming upon him unawares, that agitation which overmasters him on beholding someone who resembles his beloved or on hearing his name suddenly pronounced

5-A man in love will give prodigally, to the limit of his capacity, in order that he may show off his good points and make himself desirable

6-When a woman fall in love with a man, it's like "the miser opened his purse strings, the scowler relaxed his frown, the coward leapt heroically into the fray, the clod suddenly become sharp-witted, the boor turned into the perfect gentleman, the stinker transformed into the elegant dandy, the sloucher smartened up, the decrepit  recaptured his lost youth, the godly gone wild, the self-respecting kicked over the traces-and all because of love! 

7-The lover almost entreating to hear the loved one's name pronounced, taking an extreme delight in speaking about him

8-A fondness of for solitude and a pleasure in being alone 

9-Sleeplessness is a common affliction of lovers

10-The lover loving his beloved's kith and kin and the intimate ones of his household, to such extent that they are nearer and dearer to him than his own folk, himself and all his familiar friends

11-Weeping is a well-known sign of love, except that men differ very greatly from one another in this particular. Some are ready weepers; their tear-ducts are always overflowing and their eyes respond immediately to their emotions, the tears rolling down at a moment's notice. Others are dry-eyed and barren of tears 

12-When the lover is unsure of the constancy of his loved one's feelings for him, perpetually on his guard in a way that he never troubled to be before; he polishes his language and he refines his gestures and his glances

13-The way the lover pays attention to the beloved; remembering everything that falls from his lips; searching out of all the news about him, so that nothing small or great that happens to him may escape his knowledge; following closely his every movement

 #Some of the outward signs and tokens of love (that usually attack our youths today) are including...

Abundant and exceeding cheerfulness at finding oneself with the beloved in a narrow space and a corresponding depression on being together in a wide expanse; to engage in a playful tug of war for anything the one or the other lays hold of; much clandestine winking; leaning sideways and supporting oneself against the object of one's affection, endeavoring to touch his hand and whatever part of his body one can reach, while engaged in conversation; and drinking the remainder of what the beloved has left in his cup, seeking out the very spot against which his lips were pressed. 

#Some contrary signs of love...

When they love each other with and equal ardour and their mutual affection is intensely strong, they will turn against one another without any valid reason, each purposely contradicting the other in whatever he may say; they quarrel violently over the smallest things, each picking up every word that the other lets fall and wilfully misinterpreting it. All these devices are aimed at testing and proving what each is seeking in the other. Now the difference between this sham, and real aversion and contrariness born of deep-seated hatred and inveterate contention, is that lovers are very quickly reconciled after their disputes. You will observe them to have become best of friends once more. When you see a pair of lovers are behaving in such a fashion, you will be convinced that there lies between them a deep and hidden secret-the secret of true love. Take this then for a sure test, a universally valid experiment: it is the product only of an equal partnership in love and a true concord of hearts.

**All are taken from Ibn Hazm's article, "Falling in Love" in The Dove's Necklace

p.s.: What is love? Only those who have experienced it will know how to define it and able to differentiate between true love and false love. Wallahua'lam.

I'm struggling for the best part of my life.

~Bismillah~

It has been three weeks since the incident. It's still fresh in my memory, I can tell. In sha Allah, I'm still gathering some strengths out of myself and never stop asking from Allah to give me some more. I'm still praying, alhamdulillah, submitting myself fully to Allah and asking Him to forgive me for all my sins so that I can easily forgive others too. Alhamdulillah, although I cried a lot for what had happened to me, yet I can still accept my fate for it admits that everything happens for a good reason. With that, I keep telling myself that there're always wisdoms behind everything and of course only He knows things that are beyond our knowledge for His knowledge is extremely wide. 

These seven cardinal rules in life have definitely touched my heart and my life seems to be affected by it. You know what, even until now, at this moment, I'm still struggling to let go of the past although my heart feels so heavy in doing it and try to force myself to create a new chapter of my life that contains only sweet memories and added with some sugar of happiness and a pinch of sadness. However, it won't work. Sometimes things just won't work if it's done by force. Nope! Never! It needs to be done with a sincere heart. With a pure heart. Say in my case, I'll only be able to close my old book and open a new one if and only if I'm ready for it. If not, all my effort will be worthless. Useless. Hopeless. Whatever you might call it. That's why, I've no choice. I need more time to heal every wound inside my heart. You know, my heart is bleeding every moment one single 'message' entered my inbox. It's so hurtful. It's not because of the person who was sending it but it's because of the content. The content of the message didn't portray the person whom I know at all. It's like I always tell   myself, "It's not him who  sent you the message, Zmah. It's too harsh" and I believed that as if I pretended I didn't know the sender. The language used was so harsh and direct and the tone, as I read it, was like punching me on the face. It feels like my heart had just been hit by an arrow. It's too painful to read those kind of messages. But, I tried to be strong. I tried to sound as nice as possible. Being patient, is the path that I chose. I don't want to be mad at the person, I've no rights. He did nothing wrong to me. That's the path that he chose and who am I to stop him from making a decision that will surely lead him to achieving   his  goals? He chose to be this way because he thinks that this is the best for we both. He wants to become sucessful and so do I. So, I accepted with an open heart. What should I be angry about? But there's one thing for sure, when one door closes two doors open and Allah knows precisely which door I'm going through in order to enter the best part of my life and I have faith in what He's doing. To add, what I will get by the end of the journey is also His secret. I wouldn't know any single thing about it. My job now is just to forgive, forget and follow the flow. Aha, not just that! Usaha-Dua-Tawakkal are my bekalans. I say to myself everytime I wake up from my slumber, "Always well" and things will run smoothly according to His plan.

So, no more giving up. No more upset. No more anger.

But tears will keep on running down the cheeks.

It's not a weakness. It's an identity.

Relieved.

Berdua lebih baik, bertiga berempat lebih baik lagi!

~Bismillah~

Semalam, makan malam dengan En dan Kak Yusfa. Sekali-sekala dapat lepak bersama, memang seronok. Seronok sangat bila hidup berteman ni. Taklah rasa sunyi. Sekurang-kurangnya, bila ada teman untuk berbicara, dapatlah kurangkan sikit rasa sunyi di hati. Destinasi makan malam, di Kafe Asma'. Jamu ais krim dulu sebelum makan makanan berat. En belanja! Baiknya hati En! Semoga Allah memberkati setiap kebaikannya. Zmah rasa seronok sangat berada di samping orang-orang yang Zmah sayang dan juga menyayangi Zmah. Zmah rasa tenang. Zmah menjadi diri Zmah sendiri setiap kali bersama dengan mereka. Sebab mereka semua ni adalah orang-orang yang sangat memahami Zmah dan menerima Zmah apa adanya. Mereka menerima Zmah dalam hidup mereka sebagai Wan Hazimah yang sebenar. Tiada kepura-puraan. Tiada penyamaran. Zmah bersyukur sebab Allah pertemukan Zmah dengan orang-orang baik ni. Dalam banyak-banyak sahabat, En dan Kak Yusfalah yang paling rapat dengan Zmah. Bak kata Kak Yusfa, "Kita ni, ibarat tiga serangkai kan? Macam akak dengan adik beradik akak. Bila salah seorang tak ada, kitorang rasa macam ada yang tak kena. Macam ada something yang kurang." Macam tu jugaklah yang kami rasa bila salah seorang daripada kami tiada bersama. Adakah ini keterikatan hati yang dilandaskan cinta kepada-Nya? Mungkin. Tiada keraguan lagi. Memang sah hati ni dah terkena panahan cinta lagi. Cinta apa? Cinta persahabatan! Alangkah indahnya perasaan ini. Di mana ada En, di situ juga ada Kak Yusfa. Di mana ada Kak Yusfa, di situ juga ada Zmah. Di mana ada Zmah, di situ ada En. Kami ni dah jadi macam satu jasad yang lengkap. Tiada satu anggota, jasad ni terasa lemah tak berdaya. Tak ada kekuatan. Tapi sudah tentulah ada masanya kami perlu bersendirian. Namun, hati kami tetap saling mengingati.

Berbalik kepada cerita asal, lepas saja makan malam bertiga di Kafe Asma', En terus pulang ke rumah. Zmah mengajak Kak Yusfa pergi Kiosk Asma' kejap. Keluar je dari Kiosk, terduduk dan terlepaklah balik di pondok luar Kiosk. Tak sangka perbualan kami berlarutan sampai jam 12 tengah malam! Dahsyat tak dahsyat! Bila dah bersama, memang susah sangat nak melepaskan. Itulah indahnya perhubungan dalam Islam. Sambil-sambil sembang dengan Kak yusfa, sebelum Zmah mula curhat tentang apa yang jadi pada diri Zmah baru-baru ni, Kak Yusfa bersuara, "Kita ni memang ada masanya perlu berteman jugak kan?" Zmah pelik. "Maksud akak?" "Cuba tengok sisters tu. Diorang pun perlu berdua juga. Maksudnya manusia ni tak boleh sorang-sorang. Ada masanya kita perlukan juga teman untuk kita meluahkan perasaan dan masalah." Dalam hati Zmah sangat setuju dengan Kak Yusfa. Zmah adalah salah satu contoh manusia yang sangat-sangat tak boleh bersendirian. Zmah perlukan teman untuk berkongsi rasa dan pendapat. Kalau memang dah tak ada sangat teman manusia yang nak mendengar, makhluk-makhluk Allah yang lain yang akan menjadi mangsa Zmah. Tapi jika difikirkan kembali, siapa yang sepatutnya menjadi pendengar nombor satu setiap permasalahan kita? Allah bukan? Jadi, satu benda yang Zmah belajar, sebelum curhat pada orang lain, curhat pada Allah dulu sebab Allah adalah penyebab kepada semua yang terjadi pada diri kita. Manusia lain tiada hak untuk tahu dulu sebelum Allah mendapat hak-Nya. Tapi nak kata kat sini, bagi Zmah, berdua itu lebih baik. Tapi kalau dapat bertiga, berempat, berlima atau selebihnya, itu lebih baik lagi. Makin ramai teman, makin kurang beban kesedihan yang ditanggung. Kepada mereka yang suka hidup bersendiri, carilah teman walaupun seorang, sebab berdua itu lebih baik dari berseorangan.

Berdua denganmu... pasti lebih baik... (Acha Septriasa)

"Bila kita nak bersahabat dengan orang, janganlah kerana kelebihannya tapi kita bersahabat dengan orang biarlah kerana kelemahannya. Kenapa? Sebab, kalau kita bersahabat dengan orang kerana kelebihannya, boleh jadi bila kita nampak satu kekurangannya, kita akan mejauhinya."

~Kak Yusfanadia

"Manusia yang paling lemah ialah orang yang tidak sanggup mencari teman dan paling lemah daripada itu ialah orang yang menyia-yiakan teman yang diperolehinya."

~Kata-kata Hikmah

;)



Menangislah. Usah malu.

~Bismillah~

Tangisan. Ianya terhasil apabila jauh di lubuk hati yang paling dalam tersakiti. Tangisan adalah sesuatu yang bukan dibuat-buat. Ia tidak boleh dipaksa keluar. Hanya orang yang benar-benar terluka hatinya yang dapat menghasilkan tangisan semula jadi. Dalam tangisan tiada paksaan. Orang yang hatinya kebal, sukar menangis. Orang yang hatinya keras ibarat batu amat sukar sekali mengalirkan air mata walau setitis. Bukan kerana dia tidak menginginkan tapi kerana hatinya kuat mengharungi setiap pahit getir ujian kehidupan. Apa pun cabaran yang mendatang tidak pernah menghalang dia daripada terus berjuang. Tapi tidak pula orang yang mudah menangis itu hatinya tidak kuat. Cara dia menangani masalah yang dihadapi sudah tentu jauh sekali bezanya dengan orang yang sukar menangis. Menangis bukan tanda dia mempamerkan kelemahan diri tapi baginya, air matalah kekuatannya. Baginya, air mata jualah penawar yang paling mujarab mengubati luka hatinya yang kian berdarah dan membengkak. Jika dia tidak menangis, hatinya akan lebih membengkak dan kemungkinan akan terus bernanah! Bagi orang sebegini, ia sangat bahaya! Jadi, dia perlu menangis bagi mengurangkan sedikit duka di hati. Jika tidak, ia akan terus menderita dan merana menanggung beban kesakitan yang kian menghimpit hatinya.

Pada sesetengah mata masyarakat, orang yang menangis tampak manja dan mengada-ngada. Tapi sebenarnya tidak! Kadangkala orang yang kerap menangis ini lebih tabah berbanding dengan orang yang kurang tangisannya dan menangis juga ada kelebihannya yang tersendiri. Tak percaya? Kajian saintifik membuktikan air mata adalah satu satu ciptaan Tuhan yang boleh merembes keluar setiap kuman yang berada dalam jasad manusia. Air kencing saja tak cukup untuk menghalau pergi kuman dari badan kita. Oleh itu, air mata turut diciptakan bagi membantu manusia untuk mengekalkan badan yang sihat. Tapi, menangis yang berlebihan juga tidak baik untuk kesihatan. Jika terlalu kerap menangis, mata bisa menjadi buta. Nanti langsung tidak boleh melihat kebesaran ciptaan Tuhan lagi. Kan rugi macam tu. Sebaik-baiknya, bersederhanalah dalam menangis. Bermaksud, menangislah pada perkara-perkara yang perlu ditangiskan sahaja. Janganlah menangis pada perkara yang sia-sia atau tiada ertinya. Air mata yang Tuhan jadikan ini tinggi nilainya. Kalau dibazirkan pada hal-hal yang tidak sepatutnya ditakuti kita akan ketandusan air mata untuk menangisi setiap dosa kita pada Tuhan. Tapi jika hati sudah tidak mampu lagi untuk bertahan atau menanggung kesakitan, maka menangislah. Itulah yang sebaik-baiknya. Keluarkanlah segala yang terbuku di hati. Usah dipendam. Usah biarkan ia bersarang lama-lama dalam hati itu takut ia menjadi parut yang tidakkan bisa dibuang selama-lamanya.

Aku gemar menangis. Air mata, teman sejatiku selamanya.

:')

Our personality through our favorite colors =D

~Bismillah~

One day, while my friend and I were texting messages through our phones...

"Enti tahu tak warna kegemaran kita ni melambangkan personaliti kita?"

"Really?"

"Warna feveret enti apa?"

"Biru, coklat dan pink."

"Wah, satu combination yang menarik!"

So, out of curiosity, I made a Google search about this... and these are the results of our personality

based on our favorite colors;

My colors, my presonality...

Blue: Soft, soothing, compassionate and caring, Blue is the color of deliberation and introspection, conservatism and duty. Patient, persevering, conscientious, sensitive and self-controlled, Blues like to be admired for their steady character and wisdom. They are faithful, but are often worriers with somewhat inflexible beliefs and can be too cautious, and suspicious of flamboyant behavior.

Brown: A Brown person has stamina and patience, tending to be very solid and substantial, conscientious, dependable, steady and conservative. Browns are not impulsive, and may be inarticulate and tactless but they love responsibility and are reliable and kindly. If you chose Brown, watch out for a tendency to 

be obstinate and inflexible.

Gray: The color of caution and compromise, diligent Grays search for composure and peace and often work hard without reward. Older Grays like life to run on an even keel with few ups and downs. Young Grays may be withdrawing from life and suppressing their personalities. Grays often have good business ability 

and tend to work too much.

Pink: This color embodies the gentler qualities of Red, symbolizing love and affection without passion. Women who prefer Pink tend to be maternal. Pink desires protection, special treatment and a sheltered life. Pink people require affection and like to feel loved and secure, perhaps wanting to appear delicate and fragile. Pink people tend to be charming and gentle, if a trifle indefinite.

However, generally, I love earth colors and allow me to conclude that earth colors symbolize the maturity of a person... So, I'm a mature person! Yippeee! :P

My friend's colors, my friend's personality...

Blue: Soft, soothing, compassionate and caring, Blue is the color of deliberation and introspection, conservatism and duty. Patient, persevering, conscientious, sensitive and self-controlled, Blues like to be admired for their steady character and wisdom. They are faithful, but are often worriers with somewhat inflexible beliefs and can be too cautious, and suspicious of flamboyant behavior.

Black: Dignified and impressive without being showy, Black people want to give the appearance of mystery, but their preference may also indicate a suppression of desires and worldly aims, suggesting hidden depths and inner longings.

Maroon: Harsh experience has probably matured the Maroon person into someone likable and generous. It is often a favorite color of someone who has been battered by life but has come through. It indicates a well-disciplined Red personality—one who has had difficult experiences and has not come through unmarked but who has grown and matured in the process.

Green: The color of harmony and balance, Green symbolizes hope, renewal and peace, and is usually liked by the gentle and sincere. Greens are generally frank, community-minded people, fairly sociable but preferring peace at any price. Green people can be too self-effacing, modest and patient, so they may get exploited by others. They are usually refined, civilized and reputable.

What about yours? I'm eager to know your favorite colors and how they portray your true self. 

Check it out here and do share with me about it.

;)