What is the thing that I fear the most?

Salam.

The thing that I like the most is presentation and the thing that I fear the most is also presentation. As a university student, you can't run away from this skill, which is presentation. As long as you are being called a university student, you will stick to this word until you have graduated, perhaps three to four years later (coming soon!). The term presentation has been a part of me, as s student, since I have studied in matriculation center. I love presentation so much because to be frank, I like to speak in front of public. I love to talk and let other people listen to my opinions and ideas.

However, there are three major factors that make me feel scared of presentation.

1) My poor English speaking

2) Low self-esteem

3) Serious inferiority complex

Actually these three types of sickness that I still experience until today, are connected to one another (in case you don't notice). But yes, there are interrelated. I don't have much self-esteem (or in other word, self-confidence) is due to my poor English language. One of the most obvious things I realize about myself, since I have become a university student is that my second language speaking (this is referring to English language) is not as fluent as my friends'. I have acquired and learned English since I was in standard one until now (21 years old). Sadly to say, I still feel that my English is still below the elementary level.

When I observe my classmates, I notice there are too many differences between us and the only thing (I think) that causes me for not being closed to them is my poor English speaking Of course, according to my mother, I need to speak English  a lot to those whose language is quite excellent, so that when I commit errors in my speech, they may correct me. But, I can't do that. Why? Because I have been powered by another so-called serious illness, which is inferiority complex.

I believe that anyone who experiences that same feeling might suffer from the same illness too. When you look at people around you, who speaks English far much better than you do, you will get inferior. You may think just the way I think. You want to know what I'm thinking? 

To be honest, I love to listen to others' conversation (in English language of course). Indirectly, I will learn about the grammar, vocabularies or even certain rules of the language based on their conversations. Easy to say, it benefits me a lot without without I acknowledge it. On the other hand, I tend to feel that I'm lower than them. Even sometimes I may think that I'm the worst BENL student in IIUM! Argghh, it frustrates me! It gives me pressure, for keeping this kind of feeling inside me. I asked several people (who speaks their second language very well) about how can they speak English very fluently. 

Alhamdulillah, I received positive feedbacks from all of them, and I might say that all of their answers have helped me to overcome my fearsome regarding English language utterance. Reading a lot of English novels, watching English movies, being expose to environment which people speak English as their communicating language, using English as a means of communication with friends, blogging in English and several other ways.

Well, I admit that I follow their advices. I do as what had been told to me. But, still it is not the best ways to help me overcome my fearsome of presentation. Do you know what are the ways that I can consider to gain confidence in doing presentation?

1) Take a deep breath before we speak. This is to remove the feeling of nervousness which is conquering ourselves before we start our presentation.

2) Recite basmalah, surah al-Syarh silently selawat to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. This if to seek Allah's help for making our presentation runs smoothly. Without His will, we will not be able to give the best presentation.

3) Making an eye-contact with your audience. Usually, when I started to shake during my presentation, I 'll look into my audiences' eyes. Alhamdulillah, it immediately removed my nervousness.

4) Don't move too much or lessen your body language. People will start to feel bored if you tend to move around when you are presenting.

5) Speak loudly, so that the audience could hear you. Don't make them feel sleepy, if you don't want to lose listeners to your presentation.

6) Lat but not least, tawakkal!

Ok, why am I telling you all these? It's because I'm the one who is nervous here and I believe that by writing this entry could give me some energy or confidence to start my second presentation, which is just around the corner. Hopefully, everything is going to be just fine.

Pray for me!

Note 1: I'll be having my short story presentation so soon! Now, I'm totally afraid of it! Please summon me up! Anyone? :(

Note 2: I miss my four kinds presentation which had already lasted in CFS IIUM, Nilai, during the Oral Communication class (informative, persuasive, demonstrative, special occasion).

Note 3: All the best to my friend, Dilla! Fyi, she'll be presenting her short story tomorrow! (She volunteered herself to be the first presenter in our class. See how awesome she is!)

Note 4: Pray for me too!

Wassalam.