A blog of thoughts and memories. Thoughts are to be shared. Memories are to be kept. Thoughts and memories, both of them are meant to be treasured. Let's appreciate them.
i know what's right and what's wrong. i am cheerful and out going. it's hard for me to find the one that i want, but once i find the right person, i won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.
"Do what you love and you'll be good at it. Sounds simple enough. But what if you love reading comics, playing video games and watching korean dramas until your eyes pop out? Is it possible to make a career out of such things? What's the alternative? Spend all your time wishing you were brave enough to take that leap? Don't let fear stop you from doing what you love. Because ultimately, it's about being true to yourself."
hye there! long time no updates. sorry again for making you wait but
again i know exactly that there's not so many people actually drop by and read my blog,
except for one person. that's why i just left my blog unupdated for so long.
my bad. i know.
and now, i'm back again..... so no worries.
i'm gonna share with you a beautiful story inspired by a video which i found very interesting on youtube
and i would like to recommend to you to watch the video too.
you can just click on the video i posted below.
first, let me ask you a few questions, which are to me can be too tricky yet you'll be able to answer them only if you know yourself better.
okay. here you go.
have you ever had a dream?
have you ever thought of ways in making your dream comes true?
the next section of the questions will be,
have you ever thought of drawing your own story?
how are you gonna tell the whole world about the beautiful life story you had ever invented in your life?
tricky, aren't they?
i'm sure you haven't prepared yourself much on how to answer these questions satisfactorily.
but, if you already have the answers now, just keep it to yourself
and we'll save them for some other times. we're gonna talk to each other about them later.
i promise.
because now, it's time for me to draw my story here.
i may not be a very good sketcher or artist like Michelle is
and i may not be a good storyteller to tell about my life story but at least now,
i'm giving you some ideas about what my dreams were when i was still a little kid and how did i
manage to fulfill those dreams.
okay. i'm taking a deep breath now before i can actually continue my writing.
bear with me babes because this is going to be quite long and boring.
inspired by Michelle's video that i just posted above, my childhood story goes like this........
once upon a time, there was a little girl who was very timid, shy and quiet. well, she can be considered as
a very anti-social kid who didn't get along well with all her friends at school.
and that girl was me.
because i was too shy to speak to other beings at school, i only had one or two friends who
were very close to me and knew my characters very well. i felt comfortable being in their circle.
whenever i was with them, i felt belonged.
so, we started became best friends from that moment.
i always thought that no one could ever accept me to be a life-long friend except for these people whom i thought were wonderful. beginning from that, i always believed that God had sent them down from the heaven just to be my companions. i was glad that i was no longer alone.
days passed by...
one day, i pondered upon something.
"i'm always treated like a Cinderella. every time, after coming back from school, granny always asked me to sweep the floor, help her folding the mountain of clothes and washing the dishes in the sink. she never asked my other siblings to do so."
from then, my mother bought me a collection of Disney princesses movies and one of them was Cinderella and at that time, Cinderella was my favorite. i always adored how the movie portrayed the life of Cinderella because i could see my reflection in her. how amazing. you know, little kids. they just love to imagine things and i just couldn't escape myself from that.
so, i kept imagining myself being each Disney princess until at one point of time, i daydreamed,
"i wish i could be the prettiest princess just like them." i said it so sadly. "but i'm not so beautiful to wear those wonderful gowns and no one is attracted to me. i have nothing! i have nothing to be proud of." i cried.
hmmm..... this was the saddest part of my life when i was not really confident about myself
and i thought that i had nothing to make the boys attracted to me and this feeling kept on haunting me
until i reached my secondary level.
i still remember, when i was 15, i used to admire one boy from the next class. he was actually a new student. i had to admit that he was so good-looking like the prince charming that i had ever waited for. i felt calm and pleased whenever i looked at his face. starting from the day i knew about this guy, i began to do the most stupidest thing that no one could ever think that a shy girl like me had time to do it. i stalked him! i stalked about his seat in his class, i stalked about which hand did he wear his watch, i stalked about what t-shirt he would wear in every PE class, i stalked about who were his new friends in our school, i stalked about mostly everything relating to him. crazy i was, wasn't i? but, sadly to say, he never looked at me or should i say never noticed my existence in school. to shorten my story, later, i found out that he was actually in love with my friend from the other class and they both were in a romantic relationship. i was about to cry when i discovered about this from that girl. but i didn't cry long. so, when he left, i decided to forget everything about him and moved on to the next chapter of my life.
i never imagined that my life actually changed 180 degrees after i met somebody and got to him the next year. he was also a new student in our school at that time. and everything started when we were at the end of our secondary 4.
at first, i thought that he was a nice guy to be friend with but he is actually the worst guy i had ever known in my life and surprisingly, i hate him until now. see, how much 'love' can actually overpower us until we can make the person whom we used to be in love with, our enemy!
i did a mistake when i decided to be so-called someone special in his life when he approached me. to sum up, our relationship didn't last long. it only remained for about three days. the last day of us being 'lovers' (yuucckkkkk!!!), i asked him the reason why he broke up with me and the stupidest answer i got from him was, "because you're not attractive enough. you're so shabby (selekeh). why don't you try to improve yourself by wearing proper attires and beautiful make-ups so that guys can easily be attracted to you?" in my heart, i babbled, "who are you to teach me about beauty?????!!!" i was so angry at that time til i wanted to punch him on his face but thankfully i didn't do such a thing. God still granted me the gift of patience dealing with this kind of people. so again, i stopped there and just moved on to the next level.
however, to be honest, i did cry a lot because of him. he truly hurt my feelings. he was the first guy who made me think that all guys in the world are bad and never put my trust on them. starting from the day he broke my heart, i didn't fall in love with any guys for so long. i just disbelieved them and i thought that they were the worst creatures that i thought God had ever created in this earth. see, how broken my heart was?
i cried and cried and cried so badly after being left by him until my mom could do nothing to make me stop crying. when i cried, no one can ever calm me down and wipe my tears away except for one person, "my superhero." my superhero is a female superhero. she's so wonderful and always there for me whenever i look into the mirror. she would always smile at me and entertain me whenever i'm feeling sad about something and for your information, this superhero of mine is actually my own reflection. me. myself.
*smile*
my superhero had saved my life. she helped me how to improve myself in becoming a better person. she taught me many things about beauty and how to look beautiful in the eyes of others. for all this while, i had been hiding myself behind 'a mask' but now i know that "behind a mask is a beautiful person and behind a beautiful person is a beautiful heart" (quoted). in short, if we have a beautiful heart, then we tend to look beautiful to others. see, how inner beauty can actually affect the outer beauty? when i was in my final year in UIA, i started to learn a few things about make-ups and from there, i decided to change my look and my personality. make-ups is my second hero. make-ups did change my life a lot. it helped me to build more confident and be truthful to myself. i had taught me that being beautiful doesn't mean that you should wear make-ups all the time but how you actually be good and useful to other people. make-ups had taught me that how beauty can influence many things in our life and to be beautiful is to be in the state of happiness. plus, make-ups also taught me how to smile sweetly. before this, i less smiled because i always taught that i have awful teeth but with make-ups on my face, i started to learn to how to smile nicely because you don't want to look horrible with thick make-ups on your face but there was no smile at all. "smile is actually the best make-up every girl can ever wear" (quoted).
and of course my best superhero is God the Almighty. He's always there for me. He never leaves me by myself. when i cry, He would be the one who comforts me. i just love Him more than everything i have in this world. and i'm sorry for not being able to explain how amazing this superhero of mine because God's power is undescribeable. but just so you know, He was the one who changed my life and other things followed.
my superheroes had turned into what i am now. if previously i used to be someone who was very shy and lacked of confidence about herself, but now i appear to be more confident and always think good about myself. now i always think that i'm good at something and i'm actually talented in some ways. i am a special gift to my loved ones although many people out there rejected me.
now, i am the Cinderella that i always dreamed about when i was a kid and to be truth, i had found my prince charming and we're waiting for the right moment to be together.
here's a special gift for you. i learned a lot about love from this video.
PERUTUSAN KHAS SEMPENA HARI LAHIR PUTERIKU : WAN HAZIMAH
Adik !
Guru adalah pelita ummah. Tanpa keringat dan pengorbanan guru, kita tidak mampu memiliki apa-apapun di dunia ini melainkan kejahilan. Maka kerana itu, hormati dan muliakanlah kesemua gurumu setiap waktu. Jadikanlah nafasmu, nafas kasih sayang buat mereka dan jangan sakiti mereka, nanti ilmu, rezeki dan hidupmu tiada perolehi keberkatan. Bilamana kamu menyayangi gurumu tanpa syarat, kamu juga akan dikasihi oleh muridmu sepanjang hayat.
Murid pula adalah bunga bangsa penerus zaman. Jatuh bangun sebuah tamadun bangsa berada di bahu mereka. Tugasanmu sebagai guru terlalu berat untuk mengajar dan mendidik mereka dengan kesabaran dan kesungguhan. Justeru, terimalah setiap mereka seperti anak-anakmu sendiri dan jangan sekali-kali ada rasa jemu serta benci kalaupun kerenah mereka menyulitkan segala kerjamu, kerana itulah sifat semula jadi seorang anak.
Sebagai puteri ketiga, kamu mempunyai peranan membantu Kaklong dan Kak Uda memperkukuhkan hubungan antara adik beradik. Jangan sekali-kali bertentangan dengan mereka termasuk kedua-dua abangmu; Angah dan Abang Nuar . Disebaliknya hormatilah mereka sebagai payung dan benteng pertahanan memperteguhkan institusi anak-anak emak ayah. Juga jangan lupa untuk menjaga dan memberi kasih sayangmu kepada kedua-dua adik lelakimu; Hafiz dan Zaim. Ingatlah, mereka semua adalah sandaran utama mu di kala suka dan duka.
Ayah berbangga dengan keberanianmu mengutara pandangan balas terhadap ayah yang tidak secucuk dengan jiwamu. Walaupun telatah dan kata-katamu yang becok ada ketikanya menyinggung hati, namun itulah yang membuatkan ayah terkenang dan rindu pada mu. Sifat mulia mu terhadap haiwan emak ayah sanjung tinggi. Lebih dari itu, jangan lalai dan alpa untuk memberi perhatian dengan penuh kasih sayang pada emak ayah, kerana bila mana kami terhibur maka dari situlah jelmanya Redha Allah terhadap mu.
Sempena hari lahirmu pada hari ini, emak ayah ingin mengambil kesempatan mengucapkan TAHNIAH diatas semua kejayaan mu yang cemerlang dalam tempuh dua puluh tiga (23) tahun yang lalu. Tinggi harapan emak ayah semoga kamu mendapat pasangan yang secucuk dengan jiwamu.
Lanjutan dari itu emak ayah juga akan terus memanjatkan doa memohon restu dari Allah SWT agar hidupmu dalam sejahtera dan berbahagia di sepanjang perjalanan selanjutnya… dan yang lebih penting sentiasa berada dalam Rahmat-Nya….AMEEN, YA RABBAL AALAMIN !
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT HARI LAHIR YANG KE – 23 TAHUN.
Wassalam.
Salam hormat dan kasih sayang yang tiada tepian dari emak ayah,
Alhamdulillah, semalam, 30 November 2013, ex-usrahmate saya, Alang Ati selamat diijab kabulkan dengan belahan jiwanya, Akh Arif Memang Best (nama Facebook). Hehe. Sungguh, saya rasa gembira tengok kedua-dua mempelai disatukan dibawah lembayung rahmat-Nya.
Alang, dia memang seorang ukhti yang sangat baik hati dan penyayang. Persis seorang ibu. Alang sangat matang daripada umurnya. Dia selalu care tentang orang-orang yang rapat dengannya. Dalam usrah, dialah salah seorang penceria suasana dan penghibur hati kami semua. Bila saya berborak dengannya, banyak input yang saya dapat. Alang ni, dia suka sangat berkongsi macam-macam dengan kami. Tentang apa yang dia belajar, tentang pengalaman-pengalamannya... banyak bendalah dia share!
Tak sangka, masa berlalu dengan pantas. Pejam celik pejam celik, kini Alang pun sudah bergelar isteri kepada seorang khalifah Allah yang dipilih-Nya. Sekali lagi, saya terharu sangat dengan khabar gembira ni dan saya bersyukur sebab saya diizinkan Allah untuk menghadiri Walimatul Urus Alang dan dapat bersalam dan berpeluk kasih dengannya. Saya hampir je nak menangis sebab gembira sangat wanita Muslimah yang baik dan solehah yang saya kenal ni sudah menemukan jodoh pilihan Allah.
:')
Satu persatu khabar perkahwinan yang saya terima dan satu persatu walimah sahabat yang saya hadiri.
Alhamdulillah, setinggi-tinggi rasa syukur saya panjatkan pada Ilahi atas limpah kurnia dan rahmat-Nya pada kekasih-kekasih-Nya yang sudah bergelar suami isteri. Tak terkata bahagianya saya melihat kuntuman-kuntuman bunga sudah disunting dan dijadikan teman hidup oleh sang-sang kumbang yang memaksikan cinta mereka pada bunga-bunga indah ini kerana Penciptanya.
Semakin hari saya jadi semakin rindukan pernikahan acap kali melihat satu per satu hamba-hamba Allah sudah mendirikan masjid rahmat dalam hidup mereka. Hati ini jadi semakin rindu ingin menjadi seperti bonda Khadijah saat melihat dan mendengar saat ijab dan kabul dilaungkan. Diri ini semakin inginkan pernikahan itu saat melihat senyuman bahagia pada wajah bersih mukminun dan mukminat yang sudah menyempurnakan sebahagian daripada agama mereka. Menjadi penguat semangat dan penegak diri masing-masing dalam membawa panji Islam.
Tapi apakan daya. Saya hanya mampu terus bermimpi kerana saya tahu Allah lebih mengetahui aoa yang terbaik untuk saya. Saya hanya mampu tersenyum gembira dan meneruskan doa agar pasangan-pasangan yang baru menikah ini terus diberkati pernikahan mereka oleh Allah sehingga mereka ditemukan semula di syurga-Nya.
Dan masih meneruskan doa agar Allah memberikan saya hanya yang terbaik dalam setiap perkara.
Baik di mata manusia, belum tentu lagi baik di mata Allah.
Namun, baik di mata Allah insya Allah baik juga di mata manusia.
Sebab Allah itu Pencipta. Dia Maha tahu apa yang baik untuk yang dicipta-Nya.
Dan saya tak pernah meragui keputusan dan ketentuan Allah untuk saya.
Saya berbangga dengan mereka sebab mereka sudah benar-benar bersedia menggalas tanggung jawab berat sebagai seorang isteri. Saya salute! Sebab saya rasa saya tak seperti mereka. Dalam diri ini masih lagi diselubungin ketakutan yang seribu. Macam-macam jenis ketakutan yang menghantui saya tentang alam selepas perkahwinan.
Semoga Allah menguatkan hati ini dan semoga suatu hari, jika saya benar-benar bersedia, saya dapat lakukan yang terbaik buat pasangan saya, anak-anak saya, keluarganya dan juga keluarga saya.
Insya Allah.
Sekali lagi sekalung tahniah saya hadiahkan buat kakak saya, Alang Ati atas pernikahan ini.
melihat langit kian gelap
siang melabuhkan tirainya
malam pula datang mennyapa
sang burung-burung berkicauan
pulang kembali ke sarang
sang matahari jatuh menenggelamkan diri
bersiap-siap untuk beradu
setelah seharian berpadu tenaga
memancarkan cahayanya
sejakala ini
mendatangkan rona-rona ketenangan
mengusik hati yang kian goncang dek arus dunia
yang semakin hari semakin menggoyahkan jiwa
senjakala ini
diri ini teringatkan si dia
apa khabar dia di sana
diharap baik-baiklah saja
Langit senja di Pulau Langkawi ;)
aku rindukan Pulau Langkawi
aku rindukan pantai saat ini
"Imah, masuk je UIA nanti, cari kelab nama dia Quranic Youth Club. Nama pendek dia, QYC. QYC tau! Jangan cari kelab lain."
Kenapalah abang aku ni nak sangat aku masuk kelab ni. Tak faham! Desus saya dalam hati.
Dipendekkan cerita, setelah beberapa tahun dalam QYC, perasaan saya,
"Wow!"
"Oooo... patutlah abg nwar beriya sangat nak aku masuk kelab ni."
"QYC memang OSEM! Sumpah tak tipu!"
Macam nilah rasanya... hehe...
QYC ni memang kelab yang sangat unik dan saya rasa macam ada keberkatan dalam kelab ni.
Entah kenapa. Feeling saya sepanjang bersama-sama dengan QYC ni lain macam je sejak saya mula melangkahkan kaki menjadi ahlinya.
QYC banyak mengajar saya erti kehidupan sebagai seorang Muslim dan erti ukhuwah.
Serius! Mana ada dah kelab yang mementingkan keperluan rohani kita dan ikatan persahabatan kita dengan kawan-kawan macam QYC ni. Jadi, memang patutlah abang saya desak-desak saya join. Dan saya pulak, tak pernah menyesal masuk QYC. Walaupun tak semua program saya ikut, tapi kebersamaan dengan QYC masih dapat saya rasakan walaupun sekarang saya dah bergelar graduan UIA.
Semalam, adik-adik board QYC buat AGM sekali dengan AN. Saya dijemput.
See! Inilah kebersamaan yang saya cakap tu. Tak kisahlah sama ada saya ni masih lagi pelajar UIA atau tak, mereka tetap akan ajak saya ikut berprogram bersama mereka. Best, tak??? Best, kan?
Bila jumpa mereka, tengok mereka atas stage, bentangkan report, saya teringat masa zaman saya jadi salah seorang ahli board QYC. Rindunya saat tu! Sangat sangat rindu!
Tapi semua tu tetap dalam kotak memori ni. Saya akan simpan sampai saya mati.
QYClah yang buat saya rasa saya ada kawan-kawan yang baik.
QYClah yang buat saya rasa saya boleh sumbangkan sesuatu pada ummah.
QYClah yang buat saya rasa saya ni bernilai dalam Islam.
QYClah yang buat saya rasa saya ni belong to certain group of people, iatitu orang-orang
yang cintakan Islam dan mengamalkan Islam itu sendiri.
Bagi saya, QYC adalah mutiara berharga yang saya takkan dapat dekat mana-mana selain bumi UIA.
Ni ada sedikit gambar saya bersama mereka, keluarga QYC yang saya sayang
sekitar AGM dan AN QYC '13 semalam.
Tengoklah ya.
Belahan jiwa saya
Adik saya yang manis lagi bergaya, mantan penolong ketua Telesqop
Adik saya yang comel dan sangat manja, mantan bendahari
Kakak saya, sebaik-baik manusia yang pernah saya jumpa, mantan penolong ketua WNU
Adik-adik saya yang sangat komited
Adik kesayangan PNI saya
Adik saya yang sangat comel!, bakal board
Bakal board QYC yang baru jugak
Adik-adik QYC buat persembahan
Apa yang saya boleh cakap ialah saya sangat sayangkan QYC.
Saya berterima kasihlah pada abang saya sebab promote kelab ni dekat saya.
Walaupun saya dah grad sekarang, tapi saya masih merasakan yang saya ni kepunyaan QYC.
Jadi, setiap program yang adik-adik buat dan jemput saya, tak kira susah macam mana,
saya akan tetap usahakan untuk pergi.
Kepada adik-adik first year or second year yang masih belum register mana-mana kelab,
silalah cuba registerkan diri adik-adik dalam QYC ni. Masa adik-adik akan sentiasa terisi bila bersama dengan QYC. Bukan setakat program-program rohani, program-program pembangunan fizikal dan mental serta program-program ukhuwah semuanya ada dalam QYC.
I went through my student life in IIUM for about five years and all I can say is that I'm proud to be IIUM student or should I say, IIUM graduand. IIUM had educated me and transformed me into a better person. It had turned me into someone 'extraordinary' and occupied me with self-confidence in everything I do. If previously I was a very shy, timid and quiet person but now I've more courage to speak out my mind and how I feel upon something. I surely had learned a lot of things as long as I had been ann
IIUM student. In IIUM, I learned how to make friends with strangers (as I learned how to make the first move to say hello), I learned how to communicate with people well, I learned how to be more participative in class discussions, I learned how to mingle with lecturers, so many other stuffs.
Alhamdulillah... I learned a lot actually from IIUM...
I feel truly blessed staying in this university.
You have no idea how much this photo means to me. When I was a little girl, I always thought that I couldn't do many things. Unlike my older sister. I felt like I had no capabilities in giving my best in academics and I didn't think I can perform well in co-curriculum too. I had such low self-esteem during those days. The only people who always had faith in me and always thought that I could achieve my goals back then were my mother and kak uda and kak long. These three people, they never lose faith that someday I could be a successful person. As I walked along the stage to take my scroll, there was a flashback playing in my mind regarding my struggles in order to reach the peak of success. Since I was small, I had never achieved any awards from my previous school. How sad was that... until I reached secondary 4, for the very first time I got first place for my stream, Social Science.
Then, the next year, I got an award of SPM best student with the achievement of 8As. Alhamdulillah... When I registered myself intoo any IPTAs, I already expected that I would get IIUM as my chosen university. I don't know why. It's like Allah had chosen this university for me and Allah had decided that I would be wearing its robe during my graduation day showing that I would graduate no matter what. Seriously, I had experienced repeating the same paper twice and I know how it feels. I felt so horrible and useless because my other friends, most of them had passed all papers smoothly. I always thought that they were more intelligent, smart and capable of doing so many things in their lives. But, that kind of thinking stopped immediately when I realized that the scroll written on it Bachelor of Human Sciences (English Language and Literature)(Hons) was in my hand. I felt like tears were almost running down my cheeks as I received the scroll. I never imagined that I had gone this far. Without Allah's blessings and mercy, together with supports from family, lecturers and friends, I wouldn't be able to succeed.
No matter how successful I am now, I'm still the same Wan Hazimah.
Timid, humble and lack of confidence. But I have improved and still improving myself
to become better and better. The difference is just, now, I am the one who is passing the knowledge to the next generations and I hope all the knowledge I got from my teachers will benefiit the younger generation to brighten up their future.
Due to supports and du'a from my loved ones, I wouldn't have reached the peak of my success.
Thank you for all the blessings and loves that you give me through all these persons, my dear Lord.
I really hope that someday I could get the chance to open a new chapter in my study life,
which is getting on stage to get my Master degree scroll.
seorang gadis yang manis orangnya seorang gadis yang kenal asal usulnya seorang gadis yang jelas untuk apa dia diciptakan seorang gadis yang menjadi aset berharga untuk si ibu dan ayah
Kerana 19 November Kini aku bergelar insan Bukan insan biasa di mata-mata manusia Tapi insan yang bergelar Muslim Yang membawa panji-panji Islam Mengimarahkan dunia dengan kalimah La ilaha llallah!
seorang gadis yang tabah menyembunyikan masalah di sebalik senyuman dan masih bersungguh menggembirakan orangorang disekelilingnya
Kerana 19 November Ku ingin lalui hidup Bukan dengan daun-daun kering kedukaan tapi dengan bunga-bunga indah kebahagiaan Bersama-sama insan Yang masih menyayangi dan mencintai Diri yang masih kerdil ini
seorang gadis yang pandai menjaga maruah dirinya menyenangkan hati orang tua sering mahu menggembirakan hati sahabat semua Pasti si ibu bahagia memiliki anak gadis yang cantik mempesona :)
satu demi satu kejayaan dikecapi semoga Allah memberkati hidupmu
It's the best day of my life so far. My graduation day!
The day in which I received a lot of gifts from my loved ones. It's a good feeling knowing the fact that there are still many people who love you with all their hearts. They never forget about you and never forget to make you smile and feel happy always, even though they seldom contact you. Honestly, this is what I'm feeling right now. These bunch of people always make me feel that this life is worth living.
Never bother about those who hurt me nor who had left me.
With these bunch of people, I feel that I am me again and
they always motivate me to always make a fresh start every time I fell.
Being in their circle somehow makes me feel protected and I become my trueself.
These are the gifts I had received from my loved ones in conjunction with my convocation.
I thank these people. If it's not because of their du'a and supports, I don't I would be graduated with flying colors. This success I'm celebrating doesn't just belong to me but
I consider it valuable gift I can ever offer to all my loved ones, who never stop
i know it's hard. i know it's tough. but no matter how life must go on and this journey... i still need to continue although it doesn't guarantee that i'll succeed by the end of the day. o Allah... it's too hard for me to go through all this. i'm feeling very tired right now. extremely tired! when i tell some people, they may end up saying it'll be the same even if you work at other places. every work has its own challenges. yup, it's true! but i don't think it's the same with teaching profession. to me, teaching people is like treating people. in other words, the role of a teacher is nearly similar to the role of a doctor. as a doctor's responsibility is to take care of people's health almost everyday, so does a teacher needs to take care of the education and the upbringing of her pupils. if a doctor needs to stay back just to make sure that the patients get a proper health care, while a teacher needs to stay up late keying in all her pupils' exam marks, doing lesson plans and so many other stuffs pertaining to the school matters. it's tiring! i'm kinda enjoying my life as a teacher, honestly, but somehow i can't stand the tiredness of teachings, scolding, and shouting at the pupils all the time. it somehow hurts me. it hurts my throat. i just wanna go back. to my childhood life whereby i don't need to think of earning incomes just to survive. o Allah, help me please! help me to be strong! help me to be sincere in my job... just help me out of this feeling!
