Karya pertamaku... Akan datang!!!

Salam semua!!!

Insya Allah, saya sebenarnya sedang dalam usaha untuk menyiapkan

karya pertama saya, iaitu sebuah CERPEN!

Maaf kepada sahabat saya Naqib kerana

saya tidak dapat memenuhi janji

saya ingin menyiapkan cerpen di dalam Bahasa Inggeris.

I wish I could also produce my own short stories in English too.

Tapi rasanya belum sampai masanya lagi,

memandangkan sekarang ini pun saya sedang

bertungkus lumus 'improve' balik my English...

Harap bersabar ye, Naqib!

Insya Allah suatu masa nanti, akan saya siapkan

juga 'short story tu.


*******************************


Karya pertama saya tu sedang berada di dalam proses pembikinan.

Diharap anda semua dapat menunggu

dengan sabar ye!!!

Akan saya lakukan yang terbaik,

bukan untuk diri saya, tetapi untuk semua

sahabat saya yang berada di luar sana

serta untuk pembangunan ummah secara bersama.

Insya Allah...




Sekian.

Stories of my heart (Last part)

Alhamdulillah, this is going to be my last entry about stories of my heart. Actually I don't know what to write here because I've no idea at all. I'm thinking about any story that can be included in this entry.

Okay, let's see. Hmm... I had read the first comment in my entry titled, "Stories of my heart (Part 4)" and it is posted from someone called 'anonymous.' I wish I could know who the person is. Would it be a he or a she? I wonder. I just want to know who's the person. Would he/she be my secret admirer? My fan? My friend? I don't even know. But never mind. Insya Allah I'll know soon. I want to thank him/her for reading my blog and also for saying "terima kasih kerana memberi inspirasi." I had given someone an inspiration by posting this entry unconsciously. Wow, I'm so proud of myself. I have helped people. Alhamdulillah.

I'm so mad at my 'former' friend, the one who had been using me during the time we were friends. Do you know why? During the day he supposed to return my notes that I had lent him, he didn't even come. Yet, my mother had to drive to his house and sent the English books (mine) to him. Even though, when we arrived, his mom told me that he had just gone out from the house to meet me and when I asked her mom where he went to, his mom said he had gone to LRT station. Hmmph! I knew it! He didn't open my message telling that I was going to meet him at one of the food stall across the street. He didn't also answer any of my calls because his phone battery was flat.

When I arrived at his house, I just gave the books to his mother and said, "mak cik, ni buku yang Fatt nak pinjam dari saya. Buku English. Cakap dengan dia ni dari Hazimah, ya." Then, his mom said, "Ok2. Insya Allah. Nanti mak cik sampaikan ye. Terima kasih." Alhamdulillah, I'm so realived that I have nothing to do with him anymore after this. I'm not going to meet him or even help him. However, he promised me to return back half of my notes that I lent him because I'm going to use the notes to re-sit my English Placement Test (EPT) but one of his attitudes is he never keep the promise. So, I believe what did my mom say to me. "Tengok, adik hanya rugikan diri sendiri je tolong dia." So now, I've no idea what am I going to do for my EPT. I really need the notes to make some revison regarding my EPT which will be seated on this upcoming semester. He owes me and I'm not gonna let him go with this. What ever it is, no matter what he still need to return to me everything he has borrowed from me. Maybe I don't know when but I'll be waiting.


Last word

To sum up, insya Allah, I think this will be my last entry about stories of my heart. It's probably boring but at least I have tried my best to write anything coming from the inside of my heart.

That's all from me.

THE END

Take care!

Stories of my heart (Part 4)

Goodbye my friend...

Again, my heart is broken by someone who is being called as a "best friend." One of my best friends hurt me as he's the only friend who is always hurt my feelings without he realizing it. Even though he always helps me anytime I'll be needing someone's help, share with me his problems, and accompany me wherever when there's no one who can accompany me going somewhere, but now my heart is completely hurt by his own attitudes.

I never stop him from falling in love with someone or even be friends with anybody he likes. But the thing is he's not being fair to me. Like my mother always says, "adik, he's only using him. You are only accommodating yourself and make yourself being used by him." Yeah, I totally agree with mama. She is right but as a stubborn child, I never listen to mama, instead, I always follow what my heart is saying and always believe that everything spoken by my heart is always true. Because of that, I lost. Trust me, too much following what your heart says can bring you into the danger!


Yesterday

Yesterday, something bad happened to me. Because of him, I be like I am today. I had gone crazy for the whole night, just like kak long said, "adik, kamu ni memang psycho lah!" Yes, I believe 'I am crazy!' Because of what? Because of an 'unappreciated' friend like him.

I think I'm not going to tell you every single thing about the incident. I just want to say that this time, I really can't forgive him anymore. Before this, I had being so gentle with him and always be patience with his weaknesses (not punctual and often changes the plan without telling me first). I always help him with his studies but I can't believe that this is all I get for all my kindness towards him, upset and dissapointness. Astaghfirullah, may Allah bless me for what had I done to him since we were friends. I don't want anything from him but being appreciated for all the kindness I had showed to him.

Today

For today, everything between us have finished. I have decided myself for not being his friend anymore. I don't wanna help him as I always did before. I don't wanna be gentle and patience with him like I did before. Enough is enough. I am bored being such a 'stupid' person in my life after myself had being used by someone like him for a long time. My patience had already reached the limit. I swore in front of my mom yesterday that I will never ever wanna see him again moreover be his friend anymore. Let him lives with the person that he 'loves' so much until he forgot all about his close friend. Let him lives with happily ever after with his 'girlfriend' or should I say a 'future wife'? May they dream (to be together) will be come true.

I am sicked with him. For now on, let him survive himself and I'll survive myself. I'll not be needing his help and so won't he. I am proudly to say that everything between us are finished!

To be continued...

Stories of my heart (Part 3)

Family or friends?

Hmm, I still remember when one of my good friends, Fatt, asked me about this thing. "Zimah, to you, which one is more important? Family or friends?" and I remember my answer. I told him, "Of course family is more important to me because they are always with me since I was an infant until now. Furthermore, no matter how sad I am or happy I am, family are the people who will always stand next to me and support me to continue my life." Unlike friends. Sometimes friends can only be with us either during sadness or happiness. They cannot spend their 24 hours with us everyday like a family does. Sometimes friends can also stab us from the back if they are not satisfied with us especially when we argue with them about something except those who are very loyal and nice to us and treat us like their own family, so called "BEST FRIEND FOREVER." However, these days, it's very hard for us to find such friend. You know what, this kind of thing happen to me frequently.

Let me tell you my perception about family and friends.

As for me, I love both people. Family and friends are the most important people in my life. I might say that sometimes my life is determined by them. This isn't means that my "life" is determined by them. Of course not! Please do not misunderstand about what am I trying to say here. Our "life" is Allah's which is lent to us. What I mean here is I will cry if they cry and I will laugh if they laugh. Got it? Other thing is I will feel painful if they are in pain and I also will feel joyful if they are in joy. Have you got the picture yet?

Focus: Friends

I know. Maybe you would think how stupid I am. Love them (friends) too much until one day

they will step their foot on my head. I know it will happen to me again (because it had already happened to me before). Although they always take for granted on me but I still can forgive them. Some people may claim that, "Hazimah, why must you give your forgiveness to people who are always hurt you?" "Hazimah, you shouldn't give any chance to them because they had made you sad." Yeah, I admit that sometimes I agree with them. I am so thankful to them for their concerns towards me. However, we must look something into the bright side. We are humans. Humans are very weak. That's our nature. We will always do mistakes and keep doing the same mistakes in our everyday lives. Why? Because we are forgetful. That's why we need other people to help us decreasing the mistakes and sins we have been doing day by day. That's why we need each other. That's the role of a society. Don't you think so?

I want to share with you about my experience being friends with one of my college mates. I will call her as Laila (not her real name). Laila and I had been best friends since our first semester in CFS, IIUM, Nilai. We were happy to be together. For me, she was the closest friend I had there instead of Nadia (my schoolmate). We always laughed and cried together. We shared our problems to one another. Every time she cried, I will wipe her tears. Every time she needed someone to listen to her problems, I would lend my ears to hear them and she did the same things to me too. Until one day, we argued about a very simple tiny problem until our friendship had almost broken because of our immaturedness (is there such a word?). Due to the fight, we didn't talk to each other, look to each other or even greet to each other. I might say that I was the most unhappy person at that time and I kept moaning about what had happenned between me and Laila to my creator every time after finishing my prayers. Because of the fight too, I didn't eat for almost three days (during Ramadhan) and wasted all my tears for her. See, how stupid I was, do you agree? I did this to show that I was very upset and dissapointed with her attitudes. Just because of a little tiny thing, which could be solved in the wisest way, she didn't want to talk to me or even looked at my face. I don't know. Maybe she thought that I was so disgusting to her that time. To sum up, I never gave up to join our connection back to what it used to be. I kept sending her "forgiveness" messages (even it wasn't my fault) although she ignored them and sent her gifts (like chocolate, sweets, etc.) to show my concern to our friendship. Finally, she wanted to be friends with me again and she apologised for her childful acts to our problems. She also didn't forget to say "thank you" to me for the birthday present I gave her during her birthday (because of it, our friendship had been back to normal). Alhamdulillah...

However, our friendship again were tested by another hindrance. Also because of a small thing. Because of a slice of cake. Well, I think I'm not gonna go through this because it's another long story to be told here. But the conclusion is, this time, it was Laila who apologised to me first and she never stopped her efforts to connect our relationship back. On the other hand, sadly to say that our friendship now isn't as close as before. We don't share about our secrets or problems so much. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we have known each other's attributes. We have discovered where is our weaknesses and strenghts. But, I'm proudly to say that our friendship will never end. For God sake, our friendship will last until the here after or insya Allah it'll be continued until we got into the paradise. Who knows? It's not impossible! Anything can happen with Allah'a permission, right?

So, why am I telling you this? Actually just wanna you to know how my family and friends will affect my life until I die. I know that many people disagree with me. But, who cares? I love to love and love to be loved! That's the nature of me.

My advice to you about friendship:

In friendship, we must "give and take." We must learn how to accept our friends' weaknesses. So that, insya Allah our friendship will be preserved.

To be continued...

Stories of my heart (Part 2)

(Malay version)

Puisi Cinta

Terasa sakitnya hati,
Menanggung beban cinta.
Betapa pedihnya kalbu,
Menanggung beban rindu.
Apa yang ada dalam cinta manusia?
Kalau sememangnya cinta itu pahit,
Mengapa manusia masih mengejar cinta?

Cinta Allah belum digapai,
Tetapi cinta manusia yang didambakan.
Mengapa hal ini sering terjadi
Bagi insan-insan lemah seperti kita?

Jika kemanisan cinta itu tidak dapat dirasai,
Mengapa si gadis tergamak menggadaikan segalanya,
Demi lelaki yang dayus, bertopengkan nafsu?
Kalau benar cinta itu indah,
Mengapa banyak bayi yang tidak berdosa
Yang menjadi mangsa?
Di dalam longkang, tong sampah mahupun di kaki lima,
Menjadi tempat bagi bayi-bayi ini
Kembali ke Rahmatullah.

Apakah ini dikatakan kehebatan cinta?
Cinta yang didambakan oleh mereka
Yang lari dari cinta Sang Pencipta.


******************************


Di tikar sejadah, daku merintih lagi.
Kuseru namamu, duhai Kekasihku,
Hanya Dia bisa mengerti
Apa yang tersirat di dalam hati.

Cinta; datang dan pergi,
Cinta; buta dan bisa membutakan,
Cinta; membuah bahagia malah mengundang kekecewaan.

Ada apa dengan cinta?
Ada apa dengan cinta?

Cinta ya Rabb nan jauh, belum lagi kugapai,
Cinta manusia nan dekat, belum tentu kucapai.

Cinta,
Akan tiba masanya
Aku mendapatkannya.
Di atas titian redha Illahi,
Cinta sejati akan aku miliki.


******************************

This poem is written by my self on 10 and 25 March 2009. This poem is taken out simply from my heart. Usually, I really love to take out everything from the inside of my heart and jot it down on a piece of paper in a form of 'poems'. I love to create poems as well as reading them. I am sorry if it is not as beautiful as William Shakespeare's or even A. Samad Said's, but I am very sure that this poem can be a sincere poem ever!

To be continued...

Stories of my heart (Part 1)

Salam.

I'm sorry, mama.


Yesterday, mama wrote an entry about her youngest daughter. Do you know who's the girl? Yeah, that's me! I feel so funny when I read it. Mama thought I did not appreciate for what she had done for me in her blog. However, she was totally wrong. I feel so guilty to her for showing my "inappreciativeness" towards her deeds. The thing is, it's not I did not appreciate she posted about myself in her blog. I am so touched when people do that for me. On the other hand, yesterday my mood was so down. I was so sad because there was something happened to me the day before it. Something that made me feel so down. Another separation I made with my "best friend". I am completely hurt every time I am thinking about it. So, for not giving mama the wrong idea about my attitudes last night, I explained everything to her. So that she might understand and she did.

I really think that I am such a bad daughter in this family. I always hurt my loved ones, especially mama. I don't know, maybe because I am always hurt by people so it's my turn to hurt them back but the problem is my family always become my victims. People who are always with me during happiness or sadness. People who are always encourage me for not giving up in my life. Yeah, I always hurt these people's feelings not hurt the people who made me sad and cry every night. I always blame myself. Why should I hurt these people's feelings? (I am so sorry, mama...).



I realize my mistake now. Having a family is totally the most wonderful gift from the Almighty. It's okay if we lost friends or lovers but losing a family is absolutely the most unacceptable thing in my life. I told mama once. If only I don't get the chance to get married, it will be okay for me as long as my family always standing beside me and support me to continue my life. I don't care anymore about other people but my family.


To be continued...

Teater Sirah Junjungan: Tahajud Cinta

salam. ohayou gozaimasu!!!



kelmarin, Jumaat 20 Mac 2009, saya, mak, hafiz dan zaim pergi istana budaya, tengok teater Sirah Junjungan: Tahajud Cinta. antara pelakon terkenalnya ialah Rebecca Islam dan Vanida Imran. tidak dilupakan juga penyanyi yang memang cukup terkenal dan diminati ramai iaitu Datuk Siti Nurhaliza dan salah seorang ahli kumpulan nasyid, BROTHERS.

barisan pelakon-pelakon
teater sirah junjungan: tahajud cinta

wah, seronok betul tengok teater ni. bukan saja para pelakon, penari, dan penyanyinya yang cukup best tapi jalan ceritanya yang berkisarkan daripada sirah Nabi s.a.w sungguh menyayat hati. boleh mengalir air mata bagi sesiapa yang benar2 menghayati jalan ceritanya. tapi, ada juga yang datang menonton teater tu semata-mata nak tengok Siti je. saya rasa macam sia-sia je usaha mereka datang tengok teater ni kalau niat dah terpesong. bukanlah saya nak kata saya ni baik sangat, cuma, kalau betul mereka nak tengok Siti je, pergi jelah konsert dia.

teater yang diarahkan oleh emma fatimah ini sangat menjadi tarikan kepada para penontonnya. persembahan-persembahannya yang menarik telah memukau kami semua. alhamdulillah, kami sekeluarga sangat terhibur dengan teater ini.

bilal melaungkan azan

rebecca Islam yang memegang watak Hindun

babak yang paling saya minat, sudah tentulah bila sampai masanya siti keluar untuk menyanyikan lagu selawat ke atas nabi dan lagu2 yang berkisarkan perjuangan Rasulullah s.a.w. suara Siti mampu mengalirkan air mata saya semasa mendendangkan lagu-lagu tersebut. sungguh terharu sekali.

Siti menyanyi dengan penuh penghayatan

tapi, yang paling mengecewakan saya bila tak dapat nak tangkap gambar Siti secara dekat. menyesal tak sudah saya lepas persembahan tu. mak beli tiket untuk saya dan adik-adik duduk depan sebab nak suruh saya tangkap gambar Siti tapi saya langsung tak terfikir nak ambil gambar dia. maklumlah, apa kata orang, asyik sangat menghayati sirah Nabi sampai lupa nak tangkap gambar artis. huhu, sedihnya... tapi, xpelah, dapat tengok Siti dengan Vee dari dekat pon dah cukup baik bagi saya. akan saya ingat saat tu sampai bila2...

nijelah gambar siti yang paling clear
saya ambil dalam penuh kesesakan orang

sekian dulu dari saya. kalau korang nak tengok, saya rasa tiket banyak lagi kot. insya Allah. ajaklah family gi tengok. rugi sangat2 kalau tak pergi. nanti, insya Allah, bulan April nak pergi tengok teater Mahsuri pulak dengan mak dan kak long. tak sabar pulak rasanya. kali ni, saya nak tangkap gambar Vanida dekat2, tak nak miss lagi. hehehe...


take care!!!

Miss her: no. 1

salam.

it's already 07:48 am. i still can hear the birds chirping outside. the whether is so good this morning. so cool but seems there is a sign that rain is going to fall, like usual. hmm, my mom has gone to work and the rest of the family are still enjoying their dreams; Kak Long, Abg Long, Kamil, Hafiz, and Zaim, except ayah and i. ayah is reciting the Holy Quran while me, as you can see is updating my blog.

(from left) Aliah Husna, Nadia, Alia, me and Syidah.

i don't know why this morning i feel like i want to write about someone here. someone special. a best friend of mine. someone named Fatin Alia bt Yahya.

do you see her photo under Nasuha's photo i've put in my blog? well, that's her. cute isn't it? yeah, sure she is and she is sweet too. Alia is the eldest in her five siblings. she has two younger brothers and two younger sisters. Fauzan, Laila, Faris, and Solehah are her lovers. the most unfortunate thing about Alia that touch my feeling is she's an orphan. her parents died since she was four because an accident. i'm really feel sorry for her.

she's the best friend of Farrah. since school, they were always hanging around together. whenever there's Farrah, there is Alia and vice verse. their relationship are rather much closer like sisters than alia's relationship with me. but, alhamdulillah, after SPM, Alia and i could get along with each other. i think might say that our chain is further much stronger than Alia's with Farrah's.

after SPM, we always went out together. we often went to Jaya Jusco, Ong Tai Kim, Plaza Idaman, al-Amin, and IIUM to shop things. yeah, they were our ports. however, sometimes if her aunt wouldn't allow her to go out, i would just visit her at home and accompany her there. every time i came to her house, she would serve me snacks and drinks. she loved to make a c chocolate milk for me. she cooked for me too and i also did help her once. i still remember when i helped her with cooking, i cooked 'sotong goreng'. when Alia's sister, Solehah tasted the food, she asked Alia, "Kak Fatin, siapa yang masak sotong tu?" then i asked her back, "nape Solehah? tak sedap ke?" suddenly, Alia said, "biasanya kalau tak sedap diorang senyap je. sedaplah tu anti masak." then, we smiled to each other. hehehe... thanks to her for giving me the opportunityto help her cooked the meal for the family.

in the house, we shared stories to one another, laughed and cried together, until one day, the time had come for us to be apart.

Alia and i at IIUM, Gombak

at terminal putra station

(almost) the same shoes, hehehe

our own bags, aren't the pretty?

after received the SPM results, i got an offer to further my studies in Centre for Foundation Studies, International Islamic University Malaysia, Nilai while Alia would leave to Kolej Islam Sultan Alam Shah (kak uda's former school) taking STPM. because of the offers, we knew that we have to separate.

Alia in her KISAS uniform. peace!!

i remember, the last day i went to Alia'a house, she was busying packing all her things to the boarding school. i gave my hand too. i assisted her with ironing her (new) school uniform while she was completing all the houseworks until her aunt arrived home. after we had gone out from the house, her uncle sent me in front of al-Amin (our former school) so then i went back to IIUM by walking. before i went out from the UNSER car, Alia and i shook our hands and hugged each other. within this moment, only tears accompanied us. just imagine. how do you feel when you have to separate with someone that you love? in my case, it was totally painful but i had to let her go because she went there to study, to become a successful not enjoying herself. on the other hand, i can't cheat myself how sad i was when hugging with her. but, alhamdulillah, thanks to Him for giving me the chance to be the last person to accompany Alia before she left to her new school, not anyone else.

the last picture taken before we continued our journey

well, there is a quote about friendship taken from the novel "tautan hati,"

SEPARATIONS ARE THE WOUNDS THAT YOU CAN HEAL BUT MEMORIES ARE THE PLEASURES THAT NO ONE CAN STEAL.

i agree with it. what ever it is, i believe one day we may see each other again. i'll make sure that moment will be the loveliest moments that no ones ever had. insya Allah.


my dear friend, a simple poem for you, forgetting you is hard to do, but forgetting me is up to you, forget me not, forget you never, forget this message, but not the sender. i miss you because of Allah.

take care!!!

How would you feel...?

salam.

since the last two days, fear has started controlling my mind. the scary thing is this feeling seems increasing and increasing day by day. i don't know why is this happening to me. right after one of my good friends asked me some weird questions, i started get this strong bad feelings. may Allah protect me.

it was Fatt, actually. he was the one one asked me about the odd questions and the questions made me keep thinking about them every day. i don't want to but my mind controls everything. if it doesn't want to think about it, it won't. however, if there is something related to my family or my friends, automatically i'll set my mind to think about it regularly. until my emotions are affected. unconsciously, i will turn moody and doesn't got the feeling to talk to someone after all.

i am not blaming him for asking those kind of questions. on the other hand, what makes me worry is that he doesn't want to tell me why did he ask such questions to me. until now, i am still curious to know what is he facing right now. what makes he tent to ask me the questions.

during our conversation through instant message (yahoo messenger), we were talking about something else in the first place. a few minutes later, he suddenly asked me:

fatt: zimah, can i ask you something? but you have to be honest answering the questions.
me: insya Allah. i'll try to give the best answer for your questions.
fatt: if i am only given five days to stay alive, what would you do?
me: hmmm, i think i'll try to spend my time with you until you had return to Him.
fatt: ok. if only, at the same time, there is other friend who needs you. which of us will you choose?
me: if i am given the opportunity, i'll choose to be with both of you but if i am not given any options, i'll help the friend who i love more.
fatt: within family and friends, which one do you think is the most important to you?
me: of course my family. it's because my family is always with me since i was in infant until now, during my sadness or happiness, they will always be by my side. unlike friends, who sometimes will come to us and sometimes they will leave. they cannot stay with us for 24 hours like family does.
fatt: actually, i know you are going to give me those answers. i just want to confirm it.

okay, you got the picture, right? how would you feel when someone, especially someone you are closed to asking you those questions yet he/she refused to tell you the reasons for their action? angry? mad? sad? upset? worry? curious? trust me, you will feel so... i have no idea or should i say you will feel like you wanna beat him/her or something until he/she agree to tell you? if you're about to do so, believe me, it's not gonna work. i begged him for many times, but... well, you know what i mean.

but, my mind keeps telling me that there must be something why would fatt asking me those questions and the worrier thing is perhaps this is related to his health? a big question mark began to fall on top of my head. is he sick? is he suffering for any kind of bad diseases? na'udhubillah. may Allah bless him always.

insya Allah, no matter what, i'll always support him. i never forget to pray for my friends. although he refused to share with me about his hindrances, insya Allah, someday i'll get the answer. for now, i should give him time and space for himself until he is ready to explain every thing to me. i trust him (even not 100%) but insya Allah, i'm still his friend and he knows he can't make his friends keep awaiting him.



take care!!!

Cute mugs

salam. oyahou gozaimasu!

good morning every one! hajimemashite? i'm fine, alhamdulillah. hmm, today is a beautiful day, don't you think? the whether is so good and i can feel the peacefulness comes inside my body. listening to the birds chirping makes me feel so calm. although, now i am so tired after had done all the households (swept the floor, cleaned the kitchen, fold the clothes, mopped the floor etc.), but i feel so relived to see my house clean again. i want the entire family to enjoy their living in this clean house in a comfortable way as possible. that's my mission!


~home sweet home~


okay, enough about that. just now, i opened and read my sister's blog "from the inside". seemed she had updated her blog so quickly. she wrote about "imam Qalun dan kami." actually, i haven't read all the content of the post, yet my mom had told me a little bit information about it. that's not what i want to tell you about. i just want to say that my sister is truly creative in blogging and the thing is i am truly miss her.

honestly, i am dying to see her now. i wish she's here, sitting next to me talking or making some jokes to me again but i know, these are only my imagination. only her shadow is here not her body and soul. i wonder how is she right now because every time i read her blog, she usually writes there that she's sick and that makes me worry thinking about her. she studies so hard until her health is affected. may Allah always look after her...


a short mugs story...





i still remember the moment when we were taking our dinner together with our family before she went back to cairo. every time we ate together, we would sit next to each other and another thing was we would use the same "cute mugs" for our drinks. actually, the cute mugs belong to her given by her friends. however, i was attracted with her mug which had an elephant in front of it. it was so pretty and it was also colorful. meanwhile, kak uda used the mug which had a smiley face in front of it along with a pair of shoes. hehehe.... they were so lovely! using the same cartoon mugs shows that how close we are. yeah, it's not odd. our gap is not so far. she's only a year older than me. no wonder we got so close and commonly use the same things. even now she isn't with me and use the mug for her drink, that will never stop me from using the fine (which is hers). the mug (the elephant one) reminds me about her and the moment. i will wait for her arriving and we're gonna use the cute mugs together again. i'll be waiting for the moment...

*but sometimes, she doesn't like to use the same things like mine. hmmm... depends on her mood...

cute couple!! cute twins!!

okay. azan is calling me to see Him. oh, by the way, about my short story, insya Allah i'll publish it in here right after i had completed it and approved by my editor, naqib. hehehe.... just wait and see.. insya Allah.



take care!

Gomenasai

salam.

konnichiwa! hehe... do you know what does it mean? konnichiwa is a japanese word means 'how are you?' so, how are you today my dear friends???

and so for the word 'gomenasai' is also taken from japanese words means 'i am sorry.' so, i'm really sorry for taking so long to update this blog. well, you know me. after finishing my second semester in CFS, IIUM, i have been so lazy to write stories here. okay, maybe you think that i wrote the two japanese words to teach you the language. but, you are mistaken. however, if you want to, i don't mind because i'm also making attempts to master this language as it is my fourth language.

******************************

straight to the point. i'm actually is working on my short story to be submitted to my friend, naqib to check my english language. well, my english is getting poorer day by day after leaving my studies for about three months for the breaks. so, that's why i asked for naqib's help to improve my english. thanks to him for willingly to help me. it's so rare to find a friend like him. (naqib, please don't perasan melebih2 ye?? hehehe...).

let me share with you the overview of the story. insya Allah, the themes of the story will be love and friendship between two best friends. one named Syakirah, is a bright and excellent student in her school and live in a wealthy family, however her best friend, Sakinah is so unfortunate child who is blind and became an orphan after she get involved in an accident that caused her parents' death. they have been best friends since they are accidentally met in a program organized but Syakirah's school to help the blind people society.

until one day, fate had changed their lives forever and this time they accept what ever had been destined by God for their own goodness...

wait and see....

*****************************

now, the third thing i want to say here is about one of my friends, fatt. last night, we were chatting through yahoo messenger until all of sudden, he asked me some weird questions. the questions go like these:

• if i only got five days left to stay alive, what would you do?
• if only there is another friend who needs you by his/her side at the same time, which of us will you choose?
• between family and friend, which is the most vital to you?

okay, for me, those are not strange questions to be asked. on the other hand, what makes me feel odd about this guy is 'what's wrong with him?' i admit that this was not the first time he had been asking me those weird questions, but this time i really think that there must be something that makes him tent to ask me those questions.

then i asked him, 'what's in you? is there anything that you would like to share with me?' but then, i got upset. he didn't even reply all my so called non-giving-up questions.

so now, i am still waiting for the light to turn green again and perhaps someday he might open his heart to let me know his problems. insya Allah.

******************************

that's all for today. i hope you'll enjoy you vacations guys. to all my beloved cfs iium, nilai friends, you don't know how much i miss you especially all my dorm mates. kak mas and kak irah... i miss you so much....

take care!

Sedikit perkongsian

Erti Cinta & Perkahwinan

Suatu pagi yang dingin, terjadilah satu perbualan antara seorang guru falsafah dan pelajarnya.. .

pelajar: guru, apakah erti cinta..? bagaimanakah saya boleh mendapatkannya. ..?

guru: ada sebuah ladang gandum yang luas didepan sana ,berjalanlah kamudan jangan sesekali kamu berundur. kemudian ambillah satu ranting. sek ira nyakamu mendapati ranting tersebut sangat menakjubkan, ertinya kamu telahmenemui cinta.

pelajar tersebut pun berjalan dan tidak berapa lama dia kembali dengan tangan yang kosong.

guru bertanya: mengapa kamu tidak membawa sebatang ranting pun...?

pelajar menjawab: saya hanya terpaksa memilih satu ranting saja, dan sewaktu berjalan saya tidak boleh mengundur kebelakang semula. sebenarnya saya telah berjumpa dengan satu ranting yang paling menakjubkan tapi saya tak tahu apakah yang akan menakjubkan di hadapan sana nanti, maka saya biarkan ranting itu lalu saya dapati tidak ada lagi ranting yang paling menakjubkan selain daripada yang saya lihat tadi. jadi saya tidak mengambil sebatang pun akhirnya.

gurunya menjawab: ye, itu lah cinta...

dihari lainnya pula pelajar tersebut bertanya kepada gurunya, apa itu perkahwinan. ..?

guru: ada hutan yang subur didepan sana . berjalanlah kamu.tapi janganlah kamu sesekali mengundur kebelakang. tebanglah sepohon pokoksaja. dan tebanglah jika kamu merasakan bahawa pohon tersebut adalah yangpaling cantik,segar dan tinggi, kerana kamu telah menemukan apa itu perkahwinan.

pelajar tersebut pun berjalan, dan tidak berapa lama, dia datang semula dengan membawa sepohon kayu, walaupun pohon tersebut tidaklah berapa segar, cantik dan tinggi pada pandangan guru tersebut.

maka gurunya pun bertanya: mengapa kamu memotong pohon seperti ini....?

pelajar itu menjawab: sebab, berdasarkan pengalaman ku sebelum ini, aku hanya berjalan separuh daripada hutan tersebut dan aku takut akan kembali dengan tangan kosong. jadi saya mengambil kesempatan menebang pohon ini lalu dibawa kesini. pada pandangan saya ianya adalah pohon yang terbaik buat saya. saya tidak mahu kehilangannya atau menyesal kerana tidak memilihnya.. .

maka guru itu menjawab: itulah perkahwinan. ......

tamat....


Kesimpulannya, usahlah terlalu memilih cinta, ditakuti anda akan terlepasnya, dan janganlah terlalu memilih jodoh, terimalah pasangan anda dengan seadanya. Tidak ada manusia yang sempurna di dunia ini. Setiap insan pasti ada kelebihan dan kekurangannya .

One sms from someOne special...

salam.

as i woke up from my beauty sleep, i went to the toilet taking the ablution and started perform Subuh prayer. after i had finished, i noticed there was a message from someone. someone special in my heart. it has been a long time since we contacted to each other. seems we were busy with our lives, so it was very difficult for us to keep in touch always. moreover, she is a medic student. hmm... no wonder...

her message this morning gave me a big smile on my face. i was so delighted to receive a message again from her. it showed that she still remembered me and perhaps she missed me too. alhamdulillah... what a wonderful sister i have....

her message (in malay):


ukhti yang dikasihi,
Rasulullah s.a.w menasihati kita, "malulah kalian kepada Allah dengan sebenar2nya..."

malu kerana banyak mengenal petunjuk Allah, tapi banyak petunjukNya yang tidak kita gunakan...


malu...
kerana kita berulangkali lalai dari Allah...
berulangkali mendahulukan nafsu dari petunjuk...
berulangkali mengutamakan dunia daripada akhirat...
berulangkali mementingkan makhluk daripada al-khaliq

ucapkanlah istighfar wahai saudaraku... agar kita bisa menggapai CintaNya.
uhibbuki fillah...


what a sincere words...
yup! that was my sister, kak aini. she now stying at iium kuantan taking medicine just like my sister, kak uda in cairo.
thank you again kak aini for the lovely message. may Allah bless you always...

love you too!!

A card from a friend...

salam. alhamdulillah, i have finished having a dinner with my beloved mother at the kitchen. just the two of us. hafiz is busying with dad's laptop while zaim with his astro. hmm, kids today... let them do what ever they like as long as those things won't give them any negative impacts. insya Allah.

while waiting for the rain to stop, my mind suddenly thinking about someone 'special'. hmm, yes he's actually a special friend of mine long time ago, but now, since i don't hear any news about him, so i don't know whether he can be considered as 'special' to me again or not. well, let him be. maybe he wants a 'carefree' life and he doesn't need someone like me to be his friend anymore. because i'm not so important to him. i wish i could listen to his voice again and receive any sms or e-mails from him. unfortunately, these are just my dreams that will not be come true.

as i opened my drawer, my eyes caught a card written on the envelope, "kepada: wan hazimah bt wan ibrahim," i remembered he gave me that card during the last raya before we sit for our final exams. only Allah knows how happy i was to receive a card from my friend. i would say that he was the first person to give me the greeting card. well, thanks to him. until now, i still keep the card safely in a box and put it in the drawer.


"hari raya dah tiba... kalau boleh... saya nak membahagiakan awak... nah! istimewa untuk awak! selamat hari raya. maaf zahir batin." (this is not what he said to me but it's the words taken from the card itself. below are his handwritings...)

assalamualaikum,
harap di hari raya ni, zimah takde lah sedih2 macam selalu. ingat pesan saya. hidup ini sekali, cuma kita je yang boleh menentukan betapa indahnya hidup ini. balik raya ni, jangan ingat apa2 lagi. enjoy dengan family, kawan2 lama dan semua orang. lepas tu, studylah. takkan nak raya sebulan kot. belajar sungguh2. ingat kat mak, kak uda, ayah, kak long, abang dan adik2 zimah. dioranglah orang2 yang sentiasa ada dengan zimah. saya ni hanya satu dari perhentian2 kecil dalam hidup zimah. jadi, ini je yang boleh saya bagi kat zimah. zimah kuatkan semangat, percaya pada diri sendiri. jangan mudah goyang. konfidenkan diri. satu lagi yang saya nak pesan. jangan simpan dendam lama. biarkan je. lupakan segala kesalahan orang dekat kita. lepas raya ni, bukak buku baru. jangan diungkit kisah lalu... jadi diri sendiri, jangan ikut apa yang orang lain cakap. jadi perempuan muslim yang solehah. biar orang lain dengan gaya diorang. zimah tunjukkan yang zimah ni bukan perempuan yang ada dekat luar yang tak tahu jaga maruah diri. apa2 pun, enjoy your holiday! jangan makan kuih raya banyak sangat, nanti kena sakit perut pulak. apapun, maaf zahir batin saya ucapkan. halalkan makan minum saya dan semuanya.

daripada: hamba Allah... (sahabatmu).


hmm, that's what he said during last raya. so touching, right? yeah, i knew it. he's so reach with advices and i believe that all of his advices had almost finished because of me. maybe...

however, now, things are different than before. he changed. he's not like the old hamba Allah that i know. he is totally different. now, he'll no longer answer the phone every time i called him, he never replied my sms and never sent me e-mails. the most important thing is, i have no longer received any of his advices anymore like the first time we became friends. he's gone. gone from my life. he's invisible. when i face difficulties, he's not by my side like always. maybe he's dead... dead from my heart... i don't know whether the title 'friend' could still be given to him or not because all i know, he will never care about me now...

oh Allah, do forgive me if i have made the wrong judgments about my friend. but... i can't lie that i'm so disappointed with his attitudes now. why is he changing? he never care about his friend. maybe it's because i always bother him. yeah... i knew it...


on the other hand, just give what is best for him, oh Allah! as long as my friend is happy, i would feel the same way too. insya Allah... bless us!



take care!!!

My room...:)

salam.

last two days i went back home and as i entered my room, oh my God! i could see so many things everywhere. my room was so messed up, dirty and dusty too. hmm, i knew i would face the same same problem again after i had arrived home. but, i didn't mind. it's a common thing in our family. hehehe... kidding!

so, as the owner of the room, well, i just did what am i supposed to do to make it clean again and comfortable to live in. alhamdulillah, after tidied up my room, my room is 'my room' again now! i feel so comfortable staying in this room like before.

although i am so tired now, but at least i'm really satisfied with my room. this is the only room i have to sleep and do all my private things. whether it's actually given by my eldest sister, kak long, to me and kak uda, however, this room is ours now and we love this room!! that's why i always assure that this room is clean at anytime.

insya Allah, i will keep this room clean and lovely like it used to be until i leave.

Kenangan terindah

salam.

"setahun sudah hampir berlalu. kini, semester dua telah meninggalkan kita. hmm... begitu pantas masa berlalu pergi, kan? rasa seperti baru semalam kita bertemu dan kini kita terpaksa berpisah pula. gelak-tawa, gurau-senda dan segala esak tangisan masih terngiang-ngiang di telingaku. telah kubingkaikan segala kenangan yang kita bina bersama di dalam ingatan ini..."

insya Allah, inilah segala kenangan yang telah saya bina bersama-sama teman seperjuangan selama menuntut di Pusat Asasi UIA, Nilai. bersama-sama teman-teman bilik dan kelas. kesemua mereka sangat baik denganku. merekalah teman sejati, sukar dicari ganti.


warga e-1-10

dibah yang macho!!!

kak irahku sayang...

saya dan michi...

amboi sukanya na dgn jue ni...

mirah, kak mas dan kak irah gedik!!! hehehe...

memori bersama dengan teman2 bilik... love you all!!!

posinglah korang....

haii...cik adik nisrin ni...

untuk iqah....! love you always!!!

*minta maaflah kepada kak amoi, izaifah, dengan su sebab zimah tak letak gambar korang kat sini. ingat nak mintak, tapi semua macam rushing nak balik, kan? so, takde rezekilah nampaknya nak tayang muka korang kat sini. apa2 pun, zimah nak cakap yang zimah sayang sangat2 kat warga e-1-10. insya Allah, zimah harap sangat2 sem depan kita dapat duduk sekali lagi. kalau bukan semua, mungkin dapat duduk dengan sebahagian dari korang. dapat punya. zimah yakin! uhibbukum fillah! love you all so much!!! may Allah bless you!!!


sahabat2 kelas (group 3, 5, and 11)

sahabat-sahabat hingga syurga...

nazrin nak kawen!!! hehehe...

jejaka yang di apit oleh 3 orang gadis..he2, ini mahdi...

siti nuraihani (kiri)

shifa, anis dan siti... comel!!!

teman bilikku dan kelasku, shifa...

apa iman kenyit2 mata tu? hahaha...

*sebenarnya ramai lagi kawan2 tapi tak sempat nak amik gambar dengan dorang. al-maklumlah mereka semua tidak sabar ingin pulang ke kampung halaman. hehehe... tapi, takpe. walaupun takde gambar dorang kat sini, wajah dorang sentiasa diingatan saya. hehehe... sayang sangat kat diorang sume! nanti, kita jadi classmates lagi ye??? insya Allah...

kawan-kawan lain...

budak kelas cha'a

mimi...

afiqah a.k.a cha'a

ali abdul rahman

okay... itu sahaja gambar yang nak dipaparkan kat sini. kalau nak cite kenangan2 saya dengan mereka, tunggu saya keluarkan novel dulu, ok? insya Allah. saya akan keluarkan novel. hehehe....


ikuti kisah kedua....


take care!!!