Family or friends?
Hmm, I still remember when one of my good friends, Fatt, asked me about this thing. "Zimah, to you, which one is more important? Family or friends?" and I remember my answer. I told him, "Of course family is more important to me because they are always with me since I was an infant until now. Furthermore, no matter how sad I am or happy I am, family are the people who will always stand next to me and support me to continue my life." Unlike friends. Sometimes friends can only be with us either during sadness or happiness. They cannot spend their 24 hours with us everyday like a family does. Sometimes friends can also stab us from the back if they are not satisfied with us especially when we argue with them about something except those who are very loyal and nice to us and treat us like their own family, so called "BEST FRIEND FOREVER." However, these days, it's very hard for us to find such friend. You know what, this kind of thing happen to me frequently.
Let me tell you my perception about family and friends.
As for me, I love both people. Family and friends are the most important people in my life. I might say that sometimes my life is determined by them. This isn't means that my "life" is determined by them. Of course not! Please do not misunderstand about what am I trying to say here. Our "life" is Allah's which is lent to us. What I mean here is I will cry if they cry and I will laugh if they laugh. Got it? Other thing is I will feel painful if they are in pain and I also will feel joyful if they are in joy. Have you got the picture yet?
I know. Maybe you would think how stupid I am. Love them (friends) too much until one day
they will step their foot on my head. I know it will happen to me again (because it had already happened to me before). Although they always take for granted on me but I still can forgive them. Some people may claim that, "Hazimah, why must you give your forgiveness to people who are always hurt you?" "Hazimah, you shouldn't give any chance to them because they had made you sad." Yeah, I admit that sometimes I agree with them. I am so thankful to them for their concerns towards me. However, we must look something into the bright side. We are humans. Humans are very weak. That's our nature. We will always do mistakes and keep doing the same mistakes in our everyday lives. Why? Because we are forgetful. That's why we need other people to help us decreasing the mistakes and sins we have been doing day by day. That's why we need each other. That's the role of a society. Don't you think so?
I want to share with you about my experience being friends with one of my college mates. I will call her as Laila (not her real name). Laila and I had been best friends since our first semester in CFS, IIUM, Nilai. We were happy to be together. For me, she was the closest friend I had there instead of Nadia (my schoolmate). We always laughed and cried together. We shared our problems to one another. Every time she cried, I will wipe her tears. Every time she needed someone to listen to her problems, I would lend my ears to hear them and she did the same things to me too. Until one day, we argued about a very simple tiny problem until our friendship had almost broken because of our immaturedness (is there such a word?). Due to the fight, we didn't talk to each other, look to each other or even greet to each other. I might say that I was the most unhappy person at that time and I kept moaning about what had happenned between me and Laila to my creator every time after finishing my prayers. Because of the fight too, I didn't eat for almost three days (during Ramadhan) and wasted all my tears for her. See, how stupid I was, do you agree? I did this to show that I was very upset and dissapointed with her attitudes. Just because of a little tiny thing, which could be solved in the wisest way, she didn't want to talk to me or even looked at my face. I don't know. Maybe she thought that I was so disgusting to her that time. To sum up, I never gave up to join our connection back to what it used to be. I kept sending her "forgiveness" messages (even it wasn't my fault) although she ignored them and sent her gifts (like chocolate, sweets, etc.) to show my concern to our friendship. Finally, she wanted to be friends with me again and she apologised for her childful acts to our problems. She also didn't forget to say "thank you" to me for the birthday present I gave her during her birthday (because of it, our friendship had been back to normal). Alhamdulillah...
However, our friendship again were tested by another hindrance. Also because of a small thing. Because of a slice of cake. Well, I think I'm not gonna go through this because it's another long story to be told here. But the conclusion is, this time, it was Laila who apologised to me first and she never stopped her efforts to connect our relationship back. On the other hand, sadly to say that our friendship now isn't as close as before. We don't share about our secrets or problems so much. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we have known each other's attributes. We have discovered where is our weaknesses and strenghts. But, I'm proudly to say that our friendship will never end. For God sake, our friendship will last until the here after or insya Allah it'll be continued until we got into the paradise. Who knows? It's not impossible! Anything can happen with Allah'a permission, right?
So, why am I telling you this? Actually just wanna you to know how my family and friends will affect my life until I die. I know that many people disagree with me. But, who cares? I love to love and love to be loved! That's the nature of me.
My advice to you about friendship:
In friendship, we must "give and take." We must learn how to accept our friends' weaknesses. So that, insya Allah our friendship will be preserved.
To be continued...