Again, my heart is broken by someone who is being called as a "best friend." One of my best friends hurt me as he's the only friend who is always hurt my feelings without he realizing it. Even though he always helps me anytime I'll be needing someone's help, share with me his problems, and accompany me wherever when there's no one who can accompany me going somewhere, but now my heart is completely hurt by his own attitudes.
I never stop him from falling in love with someone or even be friends with anybody he likes. But the thing is he's not being fair to me. Like my mother always says, "adik, he's only using him. You are only accommodating yourself and make yourself being used by him." Yeah, I totally agree with mama. She is right but as a stubborn child, I never listen to mama, instead, I always follow what my heart is saying and always believe that everything spoken by my heart is always true. Because of that, I lost. Trust me, too much following what your heart says can bring you into the danger!
Yesterday
Yesterday, something bad happened to me. Because of him, I be like I am today. I had gone crazy for the whole night, just like kak long said, "adik, kamu ni memang psycho lah!" Yes, I believe 'I am crazy!' Because of what? Because of an 'unappreciated' friend like him.
I think I'm not going to tell you every single thing about the incident. I just want to say that this time, I really can't forgive him anymore. Before this, I had being so gentle with him and always be patience with his weaknesses (not punctual and often changes the plan without telling me first). I always help him with his studies but I can't believe that this is all I get for all my kindness towards him, upset and dissapointness. Astaghfirullah, may Allah bless me for what had I done to him since we were friends. I don't want anything from him but being appreciated for all the kindness I had showed to him.
Today
For today, everything between us have finished. I have decided myself for not being his friend anymore. I don't wanna help him as I always did before. I don't wanna be gentle and patience with him like I did before. Enough is enough. I am bored being such a 'stupid' person in my life after myself had being used by someone like him for a long time. My patience had already reached the limit. I swore in front of my mom yesterday that I will never ever wanna see him again moreover be his friend anymore. Let him lives with the person that he 'loves' so much until he forgot all about his close friend. Let him lives with happily ever after with his 'girlfriend' or should I say a 'future wife'? May they dream (to be together) will be come true.
I am sicked with him. For now on, let him survive himself and I'll survive myself. I'll not be needing his help and so won't he. I am proudly to say that everything between us are finished!
I never stop him from falling in love with someone or even be friends with anybody he likes. But the thing is he's not being fair to me. Like my mother always says, "adik, he's only using him. You are only accommodating yourself and make yourself being used by him." Yeah, I totally agree with mama. She is right but as a stubborn child, I never listen to mama, instead, I always follow what my heart is saying and always believe that everything spoken by my heart is always true. Because of that, I lost. Trust me, too much following what your heart says can bring you into the danger!
Yesterday
Yesterday, something bad happened to me. Because of him, I be like I am today. I had gone crazy for the whole night, just like kak long said, "adik, kamu ni memang psycho lah!" Yes, I believe 'I am crazy!' Because of what? Because of an 'unappreciated' friend like him.
I think I'm not going to tell you every single thing about the incident. I just want to say that this time, I really can't forgive him anymore. Before this, I had being so gentle with him and always be patience with his weaknesses (not punctual and often changes the plan without telling me first). I always help him with his studies but I can't believe that this is all I get for all my kindness towards him, upset and dissapointness. Astaghfirullah, may Allah bless me for what had I done to him since we were friends. I don't want anything from him but being appreciated for all the kindness I had showed to him.
Today
For today, everything between us have finished. I have decided myself for not being his friend anymore. I don't wanna help him as I always did before. I don't wanna be gentle and patience with him like I did before. Enough is enough. I am bored being such a 'stupid' person in my life after myself had being used by someone like him for a long time. My patience had already reached the limit. I swore in front of my mom yesterday that I will never ever wanna see him again moreover be his friend anymore. Let him lives with the person that he 'loves' so much until he forgot all about his close friend. Let him lives with happily ever after with his 'girlfriend' or should I say a 'future wife'? May they dream (to be together) will be come true.
I am sicked with him. For now on, let him survive himself and I'll survive myself. I'll not be needing his help and so won't he. I am proudly to say that everything between us are finished!
6 comments:
terima kasih kerana memberi inspirasi. Sekarang saya sudah tahu apa yang saya perlu lakukan kepada kawan saya yang selama ini selalu mempergunakan saya.
At last, you've got back your senses. He's not worth a single tear.
anonymous:
salam, kpd anony. insya Allah. hanya sekadar berkongsi pengalaman.
nannychomel:
hehehe... yeah. i think i did.
anonymous:
saya doakan agr mslh kamu jg akan selesai.
wan_hazimah: terima kasih. saya doakan supaya awak dapat balik nota-nota yang awak pinjamkan kepada 'bekas' kawan awak itu dengan keadaan yang baik. Good luck for your EPT. I wish you all the best.
anonymous:
i think i know who you are. anyway, thanx a lot. may Allah bless you always. insya Allah.
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