I'm sorry, mama.
Yesterday, mama wrote an entry about her youngest daughter. Do you know who's the girl? Yeah, that's me! I feel so funny when I read it. Mama thought I did not appreciate for what she had done for me in her blog. However, she was totally wrong. I feel so guilty to her for showing my "inappreciativeness" towards her deeds. The thing is, it's not I did not appreciate she posted about myself in her blog. I am so touched when people do that for me. On the other hand, yesterday my mood was so down. I was so sad because there was something happened to me the day before it. Something that made me feel so down. Another separation I made with my "best friend". I am completely hurt every time I am thinking about it. So, for not giving mama the wrong idea about my attitudes last night, I explained everything to her. So that she might understand and she did.
I really think that I am such a bad daughter in this family. I always hurt my loved ones, especially mama. I don't know, maybe because I am always hurt by people so it's my turn to hurt them back but the problem is my family always become my victims. People who are always with me during happiness or sadness. People who are always encourage me for not giving up in my life. Yeah, I always hurt these people's feelings not hurt the people who made me sad and cry every night. I always blame myself. Why should I hurt these people's feelings? (I am so sorry, mama...).
I realize my mistake now. Having a family is totally the most wonderful gift from the Almighty. It's okay if we lost friends or lovers but losing a family is absolutely the most unacceptable thing in my life. I told mama once. If only I don't get the chance to get married, it will be okay for me as long as my family always standing beside me and support me to continue my life. I don't care anymore about other people but my family.
To be continued...
DO WHAT YOU LOVE
"Do what you love and you'll be good at it. Sounds simple enough. But what if you love reading comics, playing video games and watching korean dramas until your eyes pop out? Is it possible to make a career out of such things? What's the alternative? Spend all your time wishing you were brave enough to take that leap? Don't let fear stop you from doing what you love. Because ultimately, it's about being true to yourself."