Few things to say...

salam.

as i awake from my beauty sleep, at about 5.00 am, i noticed that our dorm door was still open. seemed somebody hadn't slept yet. "maybe there is someone is staying up tonight," i said to myself but i didn't see anyone during that time. another thing was, my asou also hadn't been shut down yet. astaghfirullah... i fall asleep last night until i forgot to shut down my asou. so, right after i closed my asou, then i went to close the door. but first, i went to check the study room. all the lights and fans were still working without anyone inside. i thought i wanted to switch them off. suddenly, a girl came in to the study room. husna! she was the one who was staying up that whole night, studying CCT (critical thinking subject). until 5.30 am, i had accompanied na by revising linguistics for the exam. then, we got to our bed to continue our sleep.

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as you know, my latest post for yesterday was about my dream at the 'universiti aneh,' right? and it was about one of my good friends.

i sms ed him to view my blog. i wanted him to read the post because it was related to him. but, when i thought back, why did i want him to read that? it wasn't important for him. it wouldn't benefit him either if he read the post. i would just humiliate myself by asking him to read that 'nonsense' story about my dream. but deep in my heart, i really really wanted him to read it. but, i just ignored about my wish and hopefully he wouldn't view my blog someday and forever.

let time and fate decide everything. i just give him troubles by being his friend. so now, perhaps the time has come for us to be apart but it doesn't mean that i want to break our friendship. no! of course not. breaking the silaturrahim with our brothers is prohibited in Islam. i know that. it's just that i don't want to be closed to him as i am now in the future. because i'll just give him so many problems and i don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't like me to be his/hers.

so, i'm moving on. i have enough friends now and i'm about having new friends when i had moved to Gombak soon. although, i won't keep in touch with him always like i do now, but there's one thing that i never forget to do for him and only Allah knows what that is.

insya Allah. take care sohibi!

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last night, after updating SATU PERJUANGAN, if i'm not mistaken at about 9.00 am, i sms ed two of my friends, asking them whether they got free time that night because i wanted them to view my blog to read the new story. hehehe... one of them replied my sms but anonymous didn't so. so, never mind. i understood. perhaps he had fallen asleep again as always because of the tiredness sitting for the heaviest subject yesterday (maybe...).

a few minutes later, my erika was ringing, showing a text message had just being received in my Inbox. so, i opened it. it was from anonymous. anonymous said that anonymous apologized for replying my sms late. seemed my credit had finished at that time, so i just told anonymous that i couldn't tell anonymous to view my blog. so, i just let it be. i thought it wasn't really necessary for anonymous to view my blog. for what purpose? nothing. i realized my mistake. anonymous sent rm 1 to me for just wanted to know what was i going to tell anonymous. i told anonymous not to do that again next time. but this was anonymous's replied:

"i think you deserve. you always text me. now, i must learn how to appreciate my friendship. i've lost a very good friend and almost lost an old friend."

i didn't understand what was anonymous talking about. all i know, anonymous was kind of sad about something. about anonymous's friend, maybe. my heart told me that. when i asked, "what do you mean that you lost your friends?" then in anonymous's replied anonymous said "... because of my stupidity." what was that? i had no idea. there was another sms from anonymous that surprised me for a while.

anonymous: wan, i wanna ask you a question. but please don't think negative. can i?

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anonymous: apa yang wan harapkan from a marriage?

all of sudden, i felt like the time had stopped running, the earth had stopped rotating, and my breath had stopped inhaling the oxygen. everything around me seemed shocked too with this 'cepumas' question.

me: KEBAHAGIAAN DAN KEBERKATAN dari Allah. dihargai dan disayangi oleh seorang suami.

do you wanna know what was anonymous's response to my answer? anonymous said that it wasn't precise or maybe wrong. then, anonymous easily told me to forget about it. how could i? of course i wanted to know what was the reason anonymous asked me that 'weird' question. however, anonymous refused to be honest and just said, "if you are sincere, you put yourself just for Allah, insya Allah you'll know the answer. i believe you are a sincere woman. insya Allah, one day i'll tell you."

well, up to anonymous. i didn't want to force. perhaps it also not really a crucial thing for me to know.

to be continued...

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today, i'm going to revise POETRY and LINGUISTICS. as usual, my port will be at the library and i think i'm going there alone, again. never mind. as long as that'll make me happy, i'll just accept it. remember when i once said, "Allah knows what's the best for His slaves?" of course i'm right.

okay. got to go. i want to sleep until 9.00 am, then i'll take a shower.


thank you for reading!


take care!!!